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Wednesday, September 12, 2007
I have a soon to be 5-year old son and he's currently experiencing some developmental delay. He started talking when he turned 4 last year and have currently picked up reading. Though physically he may look okay, but if observed carefully, he is a bit "different" compared to other kids. He has been diagnosed as having ADHD and also has the tendency towards the autistic spectrum of Asperger's syndrome. He lacks in social skills and is very weak in comprehension skills. His speech is just limited to very few sentences and he seems to be aloof most of the time. It is my hope and prayer that he be like other kids his age - to be able to talk articulately, have an inquisitive mind and be more independent. It really distresses me when I compare him with his peers. Just like the other day when my husband and I attended his sports day, of everyone in his class, he was the only one standing on stage and not doing his dance steps. It was really heartbreaking to see him standing alone and not knowing what to do. Most of the time I would feel very frustrated when he just couldn't grasp simple arithmetic concepts. And because of that too, I would argue with my husband most of the time. I often wonder, why is it that his elder sibling is so smart and delayed, whereas he is the opposite? Where did I go wrong as a mother? Did I neglect him during his formative years or was it because I did not give him enough stimulation? I would very much like my son to be like his elder brother, so that I wouldn't just spend most of my time with him and leaves his elder brother aside. I do hope that a miracle will happen because I am on the verge of giving up after spending so much resources on him. Thank you. M
Comments:
M,
I also have a daughter that has severed ADHD. Before she was diagnosed, I was frustrated at times, because I thought that my homeschooling methods were failing my children. She couldn't rhyme, or hop, and didn't read until she was 8. It's been a long road for us, but i recently came to accept her as she is because I realized that the imperfections in some areas were gain for her in others. I pray that you will find understanding and peace and that God will help you as you travel this journey.
M,
My son was just evaluated (he's two) and has developmental delays as well. We are concerned he may be on the autistic spectrum but he has not been diagnosed yet. It's been hard, I'm feeling and thinking the same thoughts as you are. I will be praying for you. It's hard to go through this with your child.
I will pray.
Please, don't compare him to others - he is who is is and isn't meant to be just like anyone else. It must be hard... but don't feel like it's failure on your part and don't treat him no less than your other child(ren).
Your son isn't broken. He is the way he is because God created him to be this way. He is a blessing and a gift from God. You shouldn't compare him with other children because be isn't and won't ever be like other children, just as your older son, you, I, everyone is each unique in their own way and shouldn't be compared to anyone.
You haven't failed as a mother if you are doing the best you are able to do according to God's will. I pray that your son enjoys every day and every experience that God gives to him. And I pray that you are by his side to share in his joy. Take care and God bless, Cory
Father, i lift up to you M. give her wisdom on how to properly deal with her son. give her grace to accept her son as he is. You know best, Lord. i pray also for M's son who has developmental delays. keep him in your divine protection. i pray that you will strengthen him and keep him away from other sicknesses and diseases. Father, if it be your will, i ask that you help M's son to improve dramatically in the coming days. in Jesus' name i pray, amen.
I also have a child with Aspberger's syndrom, a girl. She was diagnosed at 3yrs. old, along with a seizure disorder. I want to share something (the first thing) the doctor said when informing me of her diagnosis - "This is a gift from God. Many successful people have/had Aspberger's syndrom - Bill Gates, Einstien, etc. She will be very driven, always keep her direction possitive and she will be fine." She is now 12, finally making friends, she WILL BE/IS fine. Learn ALL you can to help your child and yourself and KNOW GOD IS WITH ALL OF YOU. God Bless You, M.
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