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Laurel has a house full of boys--three to be exact, however, if you add her husband, the cat and the dog, masculinity runs rampant. Laurel lives in Florida and recently celebrated 13 years of marriage. She graduated from college with a communication degree. She has been an in-home childcare provider, and a pre-school teacher. She is currently a part time office assistant, which allows her to spend time with the boys when they are out of school. Reading is Laurel’s easiest, and sometimes only, method for getting away from it all. Laurel is also a devotional writer for the Laced With Grace website, and during her spare time you can find her on her blog at Laurel Wreath. If you have any suggestions for a positive, uplifting book that will bring women closer to the heart of God, drop Laurel a note at at lrlwreath @ gmail.com (remove spaces). Visit Laurel's Website: Laurel Wreath's Reflections
_____________________________ Laurel Interviews
It was an honor to connect with Vicki Courtney this month. I chose this month specifically to talk about her book “Logged On and Tuned Out: a non-techie's guide to parenting a tech savvy generation,” because this month many of our tweens or teens will be out for summer break. During summer break our children’s access to computers, text messaging and other techie items increases greatly. Banning our children from using computers, cell phones or other techie items is not the best approach or even reasonable in some cases. With the knowledge and statistics Vicki Courtney shares in her book, she shows us the best ways to protect them. This book is not only for the parent who isn't computer savvy, it is also a great resource for those of us who are. I myself have followed many of her suggestions in my own household since reading her book. Vicki speaks across the nation to women’s groups of all ages and is a best-selling author of numerous books including: "Your Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly World" and its counterpart, "Your Boy: Raising a Godly Son in an Ungodly World," and “The Virtuous Woman…Shattering the Superwoman Myth.” She is also the author of the best-selling magabook, "TeenVirtue: Real Issues, Real Life…A Teen Girl¹s Survival Guide," which won the 2006 ECPA Christian Book Award, and its follow-up editions, "TeenVirtue 2," and "TeenVirtue Confidential." In addition, she has authored two magabooks for the tween audience (ages 8-12), "Between," and "Between Us Girls." Vicki has been interviewed on CNN, Fox News Channel, Focus on the Family, and Family Life. It was a real honor to interview Vicki and talk about her much anticipated book for parents, "Logged On and Tuned Out: a non-techie's guide to parenting a tech savvy generation." _____________________ I've mentioned many of your writing accomplishments, but can you tell us about yourself? I am married (21 years) to my best friend, Keith, and we have three teens, ages 19, 18, and 15. We live in Austin, Texas. I speak to women’s groups, mothers, and teen girls and have written numerous books to mothers and teen girls focusing on the challenges that are common in today’s culture. I love spending time with family (especially at the lake), blogging, reading, and watching my youngest son play football, basketball, and baseball. My oldest is in college at Auburn University and my daughter will head there this fall. Wow you have three teens! I believe you have touched on an important topic of teens and technology in your book "Logged On and Tuned Out: a non-techie's guide to parenting a tech savvy generation." What is your main reason for writing this book?
Even this experienced computer person needed a crash course. In writing and researching your book Logged On and Tuned Out what surprised you the most? I was surprised at how much information tweens and teens are willing to share without a shrug or thought of future consequences. In addition, I was shocked at how few parents were aware of what their children were sharing. I was also shocked to discover many tweens on the social networking sites who had set up their pages at a friend’s house and lied about their age in order to participate. I am contacted all the time by parents who have discovered the page or were tipped off by another parent and have no clue what to do after that. Unfortunately, I have seen this first hand in my sons friends. I enjoyed your perspective where you tell parents we need to learn more about what our kids are doing instead of just saying “no.” What do you suggest we should do as parents? I believe that part of being an engaged parent in today’s technology-driven culture is to “engage” in the forums of communication that are prevalent among tweens and teens. For example, when you’re ready to allow your child to get a screen name and begin IM’ing (instant messaging) their friends, consider getting a screen name of your own and IMing on occasion with your child. The same is true for text messaging and even the social networking sites. It is becoming more and more common for adults to get Facebook (or MySpace) pages as a means to better understand the pros and cons. At the very least, require your child’s login and password information to spot check their activity on the social networking sites and never allow them to participate before they have reached the minimum age requirement. Even then, parents need to take into consideration the child’s level of maturity before saying yes. At the same time, it’s unreasonable to ban technology all together and leave them to figure it out on their own when they leave home. I liken it to teaching your child to ride a bike. Some children learn later than others, but it’s always best to begin with training wheels and mom and dad by your side to help you. It is so important for parents to learn more about this computer generation. On the other hand, how can we dispel the belief that we are a “stalker” Mom (as you have phrased it before) invading our child’s privacy verses being a concerned parent? First, we have to dispel the myth that we are “invading their privacy.” Our goal is not to eavesdrop or snoop, but rather to spot check and monitor their activity to ensure they are using technology in a responsible manner. There is too much at stake to ignore what they are doing online. One in five kids between the ages of 10 and 17 have been solicited for sex online. It has become common among teens to swap nude photos and video clips online or with their cell phones. Even if your child is not the one swapping and sending nude photos, they could be on the receiving end. Few kids understand that such actions could bring charges such as porn distribution just by sending it to others. Given the dangers, parents need to explain to their children that they will be active participants in the training process as a means to ensure their safety. Won’t our teens feel like we are running a house that is filled with rules and regulations? How do you suggest teaching them to be responsible in what they view or listen to, especially when we are not there? I actually find that teens feel safer and more secure in a home where healthy rules and boundaries are in place. If mom and dad take the time to explain the “why” behind the rules and boundaries, children are more likely to understand the rule and view it as an act of love. The process of teaching our children to be responsible in what they view or listen to should be part of the discipleship process where we encourage our children to filter all influences through God’s lens and seek His wisdom. While youth group, bible studies, and youth training events can lend to this effort, they can’t replace the primary role parents need to take when it comes to discipleship. I have found this to be true with my own kids--once boundaries are set and explained, then everyone is happy. A little different topic, but very much related--how has this technology changed the “dating” scene for high school age kids and college kids? It has certainly helped remove the awkwardness that used to be common in face-to-face or phone conversations since IMing and texting allow the user to be bolder than they might be when communicating in person. That can be a good thing in some cases and a bad thing in others. Oftentimes, kids will type things they wouldn’t dare say in person and cross the line when it comes to sexual banter. It has also provided teens with a means to initiate and/or terminate relationships without having to work up their nerve to do so face-to-face. While this is generally considered poor etiquette, it is still a common practice because many parents are not aware it is being done and have not covered it in their etiquette training. Perhaps the most dangerous trend is the swapping of inappropriate pictures and videos by computer or cell phone. When most phones come standard with a camera and offer standard packages that include unlimited pictures and videos, it can create a toxic temptation for spontaneous teens who generally fail to think past the moment. Are there any projects in the works that you can tell us about? I have another installment of my Between magabook series for tween girls out this July and a book for mothers of daughters out this September called, “5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter.” A DVD/Bible study of the book will follow in the spring of 2009. Is there a Bible verse that God has recently placed on your heart? (Deut. 6:6-7) These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. I love this passage of Scripture because it’s the best parenting advice on the market today. In order to impress God’s truths upon our children’s hearts, we must first be familiar with them ourselves. Next, we must apply His truths to our everyday lives, taking advantage of teachable moments as they arise. Sometimes the challenge to parent our children in today’s culture can seem overwhelming, but the task is not too big for God. He has allowed us the amazing privilege of being a parent and entrusted our children to our care for such a time as this. Though the times will change, His standards never do. Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And if that doesn’t fill you with hope, I don’t know what will! ______________ Vicki thank you so much for visiting with us here at CWO. As I have mentioned before, I did follow her advice that she lays out in her book and it has certainly worked! One of the suggestions she gives is Eblaster 5.0. I really fought using it, but finally I decided to purchase it and use it on my children's computer. I have to say it was the best money I have ever spent! I don't hide that I use it, and even show my kids the updates I get. They know upfront that we as parents are here to protect them, not to ruin their social life. Based on my experiences following Vicki’s advice, I strongly suggest you purchase the book or go to the library and check out Vicki Courtney's book "Logged On and Tuned Out: a non-techie's guide to parenting a tech savvy generation." Don't let your children spend the summer on the computer without your protection. You can visit Vicki online at: http://virtuealert.blogspot.com ©2008, Laurel Wreath
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CWO Cover
Dr. Seuss once said, “
