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Candid Candace:
After Candace married NHL star Valeri Bure, she put her career on ice for a while in order to stay home and raise a full house of her own. Happily married for over 10 years, this mother of three is playing a new role—one she wouldn’t trade for the world. Devoted to her husband and children, she is a role model to young women everywhere. Candace’s testimony is one of growing up in Hollywood, while growing in faith with God. Her passions include family, faith, and story time with her adorable audience of three. The heart that Candace has for people is reflected in her everyday life as well as through her involvement in charities such as the Make a Wish and Starlight Foundations. With charisma that lights up a room, Candace shines light on hope, and reminds us that the role of wife and motherhood is one to be desired. She is a speaker for various churches, colleges and outreach events, as well as a monthly columnist here at Christian Women Online Magazine, with her monthly column, "Candid Candace: The Q's & A's on Growing with God." Email Candace _______________________ send this page to a friend: _______________________ This month's Q's and A's: __________________________________
Your role in the new movie "The Wager" is one of a seductive actress called Cassandra. And in one of your previous Q's & A's, you listed the questions that you ask yourself before you accept or receive a job. One of the questions was this, "Will the new job be pleasing to God, and will it glorify Him?" I asked myself, "How can this be pleasing to God?" The movie hasn't come out yet, and I don't know if your character, Cassandra, makes a turnaround in the movie (in which case I would say the part would be pleasing to God), but if she doesn't than how does it please God? I am DEFINITELY NOT trying to question your judgment, but when I heard about the movie I thought it would be a good way for me to invite some of my non-Christian friends to go see it (use it as a witnessing tool), but I don't know what it is about, and I don't know if you would recommend it as a witnessing tool or not. ______________________________________
Randy Travis's character, Michael Steel is struggling with life changing issues as God and Satan have placed a wager as to whether he is able to live out the Sermon on the Mount or not. My character is one of the temptations that forces Michael to make a decision about his wife and marriage. As I always want to honor God, my husband, and children, I purposely choose to be a part of the Wager because it's a Christian film that shows the struggles of everyday life. In no way was the character I portrayed or the script dishonoring to God, but can clearly be used as a tool for the saved and the unsaved. To answer your other question, yes, you can use this movie as a witnessing tool, although I think that I prefer The Passion of the Christ!! :) The Wager will be released on DVD May 13 nationwide. Blessings to you,
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I was surprised when I Googled your name and found out that you are Christian, and that you have a website that shares your experience with God. I want to ask you a question, what do you think about sex before marriage? Is it a sin? Please tell me your opinion about this. Thank you. _________________________
Do I think sex that before marriage is a sin? Yes I do, because the Bible teaches so. Starting with creation, God made man and woman. One of the purposes was to procreate. "Be fruitful and increase in number" (Genesis 1:28). He also wanted them to have an intimacy with one another, and sex was a tool to do that. Genesis 2:24, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." In the Old Testament, many scriptures talk about remaining a virgin before marriage. There is much written about this subject in the Levitical law. The New Testament goes on to talk about it as well. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says: "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own". Also, Hebrews 13:4 says, "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral". The seventh commandment says "You shall not commit adultery". Most of us assume adultery is only having sex outside of marriage. But Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Adultery starts within our hearts, and remember that God is a judge of our heart. That's a high standard to hold up, considering most of us can look at an attractive person and immediately have sexual thoughts about them. But that's why Jesus came to save. He saves us from all our sin, because not one of us can keep His high standard. We are forgiven at the foot of the cross. At the place of grace we need to learn God's Word and right from wrong. Because the world has a skewed view of sex, marriage, and relationships, it's seems like such a tall order to keep from having sex before marriage—and it is! It's seems backwards from what the world says, and yet it's what the Bible clearly teaches. I know how blessed you will be to wait until your married, regardless of whether you've had sex before or not. You can always make a change RIGHT NOW. Pray about this subject, and talk to God about it. If you desire a deeper relationship with God, being obedient to His Word is where you need to start. There are also several great books out there that can help you understand why it's important to wait, and also give you the encouragement and the scriptures to do so. Many blessings in your journey,
_________________________ Visit Candace at her website: If you would like to send Candace an email, she can be reached at email@candacecameronbure.net Read previous Q's and A's ________________________
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I know that one shouldn't overindulge with alcohol and get drunk. The Bible states that clearly. And there is always an example to be for others. We should not cause another brother or sister to stumble if they have a problem in that area. So, there you have it. You need to pray about your decision and talk to God about it. But if you feel led in any way, don't ignore what you hear Him calling you to do. I recommend The South Beach Diet. That is a great book to help you change your eating habits. It's not a diet, its a way of life. You can do it. It's not easy, but you have to make better decisions on your eating habits. There's no other way around it.
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Is that too odd a question? I figure, you've got to have some idea--your skin looks flawless! _________________________
I use sunscreen on my face every day and usually wear a hat if I'm on the beach. After living in Florida for 6 years, I've seen how badly the sun damages skin on older people. I make sure I take good care of my skin and protect it.
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Praying is talking to God, asking Him for wisdom, guidance and requests. The problem we often face is that when God doesn't answer the way we want Him to, we think it's not working. It may even seem to be getting worse, as you mentioned. It's worse in your eyes, but not God's. He may have other plans for you and is shaping the events in a way for you to get there. After Full House and a run of TV movies ended, I continued to pray for another TV show. It didn't happen. I continued to pray for more acting jobs, but the door didn't open. It wasn't that my prayer requests weren't working--it's that God wanted me to be focusing on other things. In my case, it was my family. He wanted me home to be the wife and mother that He called me to be. I couldn't do that to the best of my ability if I were traveling and working 9 hours a day. It took me a while to figure that out. God isn't a magical genie where all of our requests are granted. Ask Him, but pray for His will in your life. This means accepting change where God shows you. You can listen to God by reading the Bible--that's how He speaks to us. Also listening to the Holy Spirit who dwells within you, when you've received Christ as your Lord and Saviour. Praying the scriptures is the place to start. Open up the Psalms and read one each day and night. Speak them aloud; even replace words to seek your specific needs. Blessings to you in your journey of prayer. _________________________
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We read a lot of stories at bedtime, many of them bible stories. My older children (ages 9 and 7) do a kid's devotional every morning before they have breakfast. It only takes about 5 minutes for them and hopefully helps their day start off right. They are age appropriate devotionals and are directed at boys or girls. I found these at my local Christian bookstore. We also have a GREAT small book by Brannon Howse called Building a Biblical Worldview Verse by Verse. It can be purchased at www.worldviewweekend.com. We sit around the dinner table and will learn a new verse once all 3 kids memorize the previous verse. This could take a few days or one week. They LOVE doing this and raise their hands so fast in hopes that I pick them to recite the verse. I'll ask the question like: Who is God? And the verse they site is John 4:24 "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him, must worship in spirit and truth." This has become a dinner table topic.... and they love it. It also creates great family discussions. One of the most important things I can teach my children is learning the 10 commandments. Another great book that will help kids memorize them visually is The Way of the Master for Kids by none other than my big bro--Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort. This can be purchased at www.livingwaters.com. The book is geared for ages 3-10 years old. I'll ask my kids at random moments- what is commandment number 9? or 4? I've also told them if I ask them at random times to tell me in order all 10 commandments- I'll give them $1.00. It's great incentive. If I make my kids do chores around the house, eat vegetables because it's good for them, I can certainly have them memorize scripture! Of course, the only book you REALLY need is the Bible. But the few I mentioned are a fun way to help you along. Hope this gives you some good ideas.
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The day after Thanksgiving, we decided to take a break. Everything seemed okay before I left his house that last time, and we even prayed together, but ever since that day, he hasn't talked to me. I tried calling him, and he never answered or replied, so I wrote him a letter pouring out my heart to him and telling him to pray, pray, pray. I don't understand what's going on; the only thing I do know is that I have to trust the Lord. I'm just asking for any advice, encouragement and, or prayer. Thanks so much!______________________________________
Unfortunately, your story is not all that uncommon. It's crazy to think someone you are in love with and thought about marrying, won't even talk to you or write to you after you've shared the biggest gift in your life with him--your whole self. And yet, I think that's part of the reason for the breakup. But before you start blaming yourself, or think I'm blaming you, hold on--I'm not. I just want to try to explain how a guy's mind works (not that I'm an expert). Most guys aren't as emotional when it comes to sex. Where girls equate sex to love, men equate sex to relief. Of course I'm simply generalizing the sex drives of an 18 year-old boy and girl, but hear me out. So now he's had you. The surprise is over; the gift unwrapped. There's no more waiting to find out what's inside. The mystery is gone. It's a horrible thought--something we've all had friends go through or we've experienced ourselves. It's not uncommon. Your boyfriend may never have been ready for marriage. He may have known it but stayed in the relationship, because there was still something unknown in it. But once the "mystery" was gone, once he had everything, it probably confirmed his desires to do something he'd already thought about before--date other girls. Guys (and girls) will say a lot of dumb things to get what they want in the heat of hormones. But let me comfort you by saying, it's not because you aren't a great girl, not because you did something wrong to him, but because the one thing that was probably keeping him there--wanting all of you--was now gone. We've all made dumb choices, and this choice of giving yourself to him, resulted in consequences. Those consequences are: him moving on, and you having made a decision that you now regret. It stinks. It doesn't seem fair. Sex and marriage is something God designed perfectly, but often we don't realize it until we've blown it. So, here's my advice to you. Don't keep writing him or calling him. Let him go. Let him figure his stuff out on his own. Continuing to reach out, even by telling him you're praying for him, will likely turn him off even more. I know it will be hard, but if God wants the two of you to be together, He can bring you back in His time. When I was 17, I thought I was going to marry a certain someone. I was convinced of it. With all my heart, I just knew he was the one for me and would have placed a bet on it that we'd marry. And you what happened? We didn't! God had other plans for me. A great reading recommendation is For Young Women Only or For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa Rice. It will give you a lot of insight into the minds of guys. With all of your heart, mind and soul, seek a relationship with God. Stop worrying about your boyfriend, and start finding your worth in God. Let Him be the one and only for you!
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As a mother of three, how do you take time for yourself? ______________________________________
You asked how I do it all and take time for myself? Well, all of my kids are in school now, so I have my mornings free. This gives me the time to work out, answer emails ;) and do my chores etc. It's all about prioritizing. I feel better when I exercise, so if I start my day off that way, I end up having more energy to get the other things done without being so tired. Oh, one more thing--we limit the extra paid activities our kids do like sports and ballet. We take that time to do those things WITH our kids. For example, instead of putting them in tennis camps, my husband coaches them and I'll go out and hit with them. So consider not signing up for soccer one quarter and use that time to ride bikes with the kids and kick the soccer ball with the whole family each Saturday morning. You'll all have fun, you'll all be exercising and most importantly, you'll be able to use those opportunities to teach them Christian character.
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Could you imagine a child looking up his or her favorite "Full House" actress, taking that test, and being frightened to her soul that she will suffer in Hell? Children don't understand the terminology used in this horrid test, Candace. You were a child star; you must understand that your fans are children. Children are still seeing reruns of your sitcom on television; you are still 13 years old to them. These are the people searching for your website, not grown adults looking for holy answers on DJ Tanner's website. Thank you. ______________________________________
I do have a lot of young fans but even more adult fans, who grew up with the show and follow me through my ministry career. (I know this by the amount of emails I receive and whom they're written from.) I'm not D.J. Tanner, but Candace--a wife, mother, speaker and actress. My website is not a fan site for Full House, but a website about my life today, and one that I hope reflects my relationship with Jesus Christ. As for children not understanding terminology--I beg to differ. My children are 5, 7, and 9 years old. They know well the words of the Bible, who Jesus is, sin and its consequences, heaven and hell, grace, mercy and His unconditional love. I hope that any children who are of a young age surfing the internet would not be doing it alone. If you are concerned about your daughter seeing the test, hopefully you will filter the things in which you don't want her to see and will be alongside her while she surfs the net. Again, the "Good Person Test" is on there because I see value in it, and have had some amazing testimonies from people who have read it, are thankful for it and have sought out God because of it. I hope this has shed some light on your concerns. (Visit www.wayofthemaster.com if you'd like to take "The Good Person Test")
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Lately it seems like I have a hard time letting go of the sins I have committed in the past. I know I have been forgiven due to asking God for forgiveness and basically saying that I am sorry, but I still think about things I have done, and it brings me to tears sometimes. I re-dedicated my life to God a few months back. I have been visiting churches in my area (I recently moved from my home town so I have been praying that God will find me a church in my area). But it's been hard, trying to back away from "worldly" things that are out there. ______________________________________
I suspect you've never come to a place of Godly sorrow--I'm talking in tears, on your knees, over the sin in your life. It's a place so deep inside of you, where you understand how offensive you've been toward God. Then understanding what He did for you on the cross and His grace. I know you know "all the words" and what they mean, but I don't know that you've been affected by it in your soul. It didn't happen for me until after I read The Way of the Master. Maybe this will trigger it for you too, or maybe it will be something else. In any case, once you've experienced Godly sorrow, you can come to a place of true repentance. Asking God to forgive you, and turning from your sin. See, it's not just about feeling guilty over it and confessing it, but feeling so sorrowful that you don't want to do it anymore. When you've asked for that forgiveness, it's been given to you. There's no reason to wallow in the guilt, that's not going to do anything. You have to trust that once you're forgiven, you're forgiven. "Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you." - Acts 13:38 Move on, and move into a right relationship with God. Dig into the Word to better know Him, and what He wants to do with your life.
How does your bible study group work? This is new for me and I kind of lead it, so I didn't know if I should get a Bible study book to go with what book of the Bible we would study, or if there is a better option. Also, could you recommend any books of the Bible that would be good to read for our study group? I appreciate any information. Thank you for your time and consideration. ______________________________________
I don't know how well you know your Bible--and this may determine how you lead your study. If you're a beginner I suggest your group studies off of a "Bible study" book. There are several choices at local Christian book stores, or online at www.lifeway.com. You may want to start with a study on the book of John. John--not to be confused with John the Baptist--is commonly considered Jesus' closest friend. You'll be familiar with the new testament stories, but you'll have a more intimate look at who Jesus is as only a best friend could share. Each girl should purchase the Bible study book, and complete one chapter per week at home. At the start of each study, begin with prayer then go through the questions you answered from the week and discuss them. A lot of great conversation will stem from this. If you want to jump into the BEST bible study (in my opinion), your group will have to shell out a few dollars to chip in for Beth Moore's Daniel study. This is a DVD set along with a Bible study guide book. I love Beth Moore's style and enthusiasm. I've never retained as much information as I did from this study because she's that good! It also comes with a teacher's guide (that'd be for you!) to help in instructing and moving the group along in a timely format. If you don't want any money involved to purchase books or DVD's, you can choose a book of the Bible and go through line by line or chapter by chapter. Here are a few questions to ask yourself and look for when reading the scriptures to help dig in.
Currently, we are doing this style of study on 1 Peter. We chose 1 Peter, not only because it's a great book, but also because it's short. This type of study involves a lot of time to really dig in, look up definitions, and use a concordance to reference other scriptures. This is a wonderful way to study, but I must say it helps to have someone who's knowledgeable and familiar with the Bible. I don't think my group could study this way if it weren't for our leader Debbie. She's awesome! Since this is your first small group and you're heading it up, I suggest you choose a Bible study book or DVD set and pick a topic of interest for your whole group. You can study a book of the Bible or a topic of interest like being a godly wife, parenting, overcoming strongholds etc. As the leader, go to your bookstore or online, and choose 3 study guides to suggest. Vote on which study the group would like to do, then have each person purchase their own book. You'll be blessed in your efforts to study the Bible! And don't be surprised at your rapid growth in your walk with Christ.
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Then ask yourself more detailed questions like:
Weigh the benefits and the disadvantages from God's perspective, not your own desires. Most importantly, pray about it and seek advice from the Word. Hope this helps,
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I find myself being overwhelmed with things to get done on a daily basis. Between taking care of the kids and trying to keep the house clean, I don't feel that I ever have time to just, enjoy my family. So, my question is, how do you get everything done? What have you done to make family time easier without falling behind on other things? Thanks in advance! ______________________________________
I don't think there's much time to sit and enjoy everything when the kids are those ages. I don't mean to be a bummer, but let's face it--it's hard. There isn't much time for anything other than keeping up with the kids, and cleaning up their messes. It takes a lot of patience, a lot of deep breaths, a lot of prayer, and as many hot baths alone that we can get! I did it--without a husband most of the time, because he was on the road, playing hockey. I never had a nanny, but I got a babysitter every now and then to spend some alone time with my husband, and to get that much needed deep breath. Don't ever feel guilty or bad about having a night out without the kids. In fact--you should! Having a date night with hubby at least once a month (once a week is even better!) will refresh you, recharge you, and help you to enjoy the time you spend with the kids. I was always advised to involve the kids as much as possible with the daily chores. In the beginning, it will be harder; they end up making the process slower since you're teaching and they're learning, but in the end, it will go a lot faster when they're able to set the table, sort laundry and wash dishes. It is good advice, but I never had the patience for it! My kids do those things now, but I have to admit it's with moans and groans. I guess I didn't make it "fun" from the start. Maybe you will! I don't have any radical advice. Take lots of pictures to remember it all. ;) When the youngest is four, it gets easier. Everyone can walk, talk, listen and take direction--much easier!! You'll be able to sit and enjoy your family, and hear all of the stories about school and life, that your kids will be eager to tell you. Be brave sister, and keep on! Enjoy that laundry time--sometimes it's the only 20 minutes you'll spend alone during the day!
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I want to help him understand more about Christ, and for him to be the head of our household without making him feel that I just don't want to take care things. Please advise. ______________________________________
Don't worry though; he can still lead your home. Start by praying for your husband to be the spiritual leader of your household. Pray that he would come to know Christ. Pray that God would work on you to be the wife He's called you to be. You shouldn't be afraid to sit down and have a chat with your husband. In love, tell him that you respect him as the man of the house and you would love for him to make more decisions for the family. Just remember not to balk at him if he makes lousy ones in the beginning. This will only make him feel disrespected and he'll eventually tell you to just keep doing everything since he never seems to do it right. He'll need your support and encouragement. Don't nag or get upset. If he isn't used to leading, he's not going to magically become a great leader overnight. It will take time, effort on your part, as well as patience and a lot of prayer. As far as certain jobs around the house, there are some things you may do better, and that's OK. Like paying the bills. I pay the bills in my home too. Yes, my husband knows about our finances and oversees all of it, but as for writing checks, filing and organizing, I'm the woman for the job. Val delegated that duty over to me because I'm better at it. If your husband isn't comfortable with managing money and you've been gifted in that field, it's OK to make those decisions. Just make sure you put aside time with your husband to present him any major changes in the budget and discuss new investments you may be thinking of. Make sense? I hope this has helped.
______________________________________ If you would like to send Candace an email, she can be reached at email@candacecameronbure.net
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in commercials, prime-time hits, and critically acclaimed television movies, working with actors such as Sally Field and Tom Hanks. 
I am a young, Christian woman. Finding out that you were a Christian uplifted my spirits, like you wouldn't believe! 
Thanks for your questions.
