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Sunday, October 7, 2007
 
At the time appointed...

"At the time appointed I will return to you, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son" Genesis 18:14
That's another way of saying, "This is going to be a full-term baby." This means a little bit more waiting, doesn't it? And that's not the answer we're looking for! We don't want nine months of carrying a child...nine months of bearing a promise until it comes to the moment of delivery. We want to wake up in the tent one morning and have a crib in the corner with a baby crying in it. For that matter, we'd prefer that the baby be smiling and cooing. Or maybe standing up and walking and talking with a full vocabulary.
We don't want to wait! We want roses, but we don't want to weed or prune or water or wait until they bloom in all their fullness. Nor do we want to acknowledge that God might be maturing those roses and bringing fragrance into our lives through some dark, rainy, overcast days.
Can you remember the days when you actually had to dial a number with a rotary dial and stand within a few feet of the wall because you were attached to it? We need one-button, pre-programmed auto-dial. Speed! No Waiting! Immediate fulfillment! We are all schooled to instant gratification. We pray, "Lord, give me patience and I want it right now!"
Yet the Lord said to that dear elderly couple, "At the time appointed I will return to you, according to the time of life." It was going to be a regular baby on a regular schedule born in the regular way. There is an "appointed time" for me as well. God has been faithful to His word, and He will respond to the heart's desire of His children. What He delivers may not be the very thing I ask for, but it will be the very thing I need. There is much about my life that I did not ask or that I did not plan. But I can see that He has brought fruitfulness to that place where emptiness has reigned, and He has caused my desert to blossom like a rose.
Are you waiting for your "appointed time". It may not take as long as it did for Sarah, but however long it takes, it will be worth the waiting. In fact, while you go through the test of waiting, you will learn more about the Lord's miracle-working grace in your life than you would have learned if you had received a next-day delivery.
The Lord said to Abraham and Sarah. "The miracle for which you have waited will come. But it will be something that grows in your life and
comes forth in the fullness of time."
(this post was taken from personal notes and quotes written from a study on The Life of Abraham by Jack Hayford)
In Him...Chris
Chris can also be found at her personal blog Come to the Table

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Thursday, October 4, 2007
 
Singin'

I am shy.

I admit it. Freely. It’s better to just get that out in the open, for I struggle daily to move beyond my safe place and into that arena of mild discomfort, riddled with the pitfalls of drawing a blank and saying the wrong thing.

But God must have thought I needed a giant shove nudge. He has given me two sons who redefine the boundaries of my comfort zone minute by minute; one such moment occurred during dinner while we were on vacation last fall, visiting my husband's sister.

“So, what are you two going to sing?”

The waiter leaned over the booth and ruffled Micah’s hair.

“Sing?” my husband asked.

“Sure – they can stand up on the bar and sing a song, and we’ll give ‘em a card for free drinks-er-soda for the rest of their lives!”

Corban and Micah looked at us excitedly.

“Can we, Mama, can we, Daddy?” Corban begged. My husband smiled at him and said, “Of course!” I caved in on myself. Are you kidding? Stand up on that bar and sing a song in front of (gasp) people? I could never. Not now. Not ever.

For the rest of the meal at O’Dougherty’s Irish Pub in downtown Spokane, Corban and Micah whispered to each other. Visions of silly nonsense songs I’ve composed being sung to the entire restaurant flitted through my mind, but I fought the urge to offer suggestions of “suitable” material, and I even refrained from asking repeatedly, “Are you sure you want to do this? There are going to be people watching you, did you know that?”

When our fish and chips, Irish stew and soda bread were finished, we gathered up the stroller, jackets, toys and sippy cups, heading to the bar by the door. There were only about six people gathered around it, all eating quietly and not really looking up. Until…

“We’ve got a treat for you today, folks! Corban and Micah are going to sing you a song!” And the waiter swung first Micah, and then Corban up onto the wooden countertop.

I frantically grabbed for our camera, my heart pounding. My hands shook as I opened the lens, avoiding looking at anyone but my boys. I prayed silently, God, please don’t let them be humiliated!

There was a pause as they conferred in a whisper, and then, the sweetest sound fell on my anxious ears.

Oh God, you are my God,
And I will ever praise You!
Oh God, you are my God,
And I will ever praise You!

I will seek you in the morning,
And I will learn to walk in Your ways,
And step by step You’ll lead me,
And I will follow you all of my days!

And I will follow You all of my days,
And I will follow You all of my days,
And step by step, You’ll lead me,
And I will follow You all of my days!


From the top of that sticky wooden bar, surrounded by half a dozen people, praise to the God of creation flowed. A declaration of two little boys’ faith, seven and four; they knew no shame, and at the top of their lungs, off key, off meter, they belted out the words to their favorite worship song.

I looked at my husband out of the corner of my eye; yes, he was crying, too. He caught my eye and laughed through his tears.

See, Beloved? They sing when you cannot. But teach them. Lead them. And they will only grow in their boldness.

I know I don’t need to stand up on a bar to proclaim my love for Jesus. I don’t even need to sing. But I do need that nudge once in awhile. I freely admit it.

Pulling my boys down from the counter afterwards, I looked in their eyes to see what was there – but instead of relief, disappointment in their performance, or even pride, I simply saw… happiness.

We left the restaurant, and Corban grabbed his daddy’s hand as they walked ahead of me, but I could still hear their words.

“Corban, I am so proud of you! You just told those people about your love for God!”

And Corban said, “Really? I was just singin’!”

Whether we're talkin’, or singin’, or even just livin’, may our love for God and His love for all of us be as evident as if we were singing it from the mountaintops. Or a wooden countertop.

“O, Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare Your praise.” (Psalm 51:15)




You are always welcome at my little place - A Path Made Straight

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007
 
His Throne is Still Intact

“…And, yet God, You’re still sovereign, Your throne intact and eternal.”
Lamentations 5:20b



Have you ever had those moments when you just really felt like everything was going wrong, times when life just seems to be spinning out of control? Perhaps it is a health issue with you or a family member. Maybe it’s the loss of a job or just the stress of too many responsibilities. Whether it’s from our own poor choices, decisions made by those around us, or just circumstances beyond our control, we’ve all had times when we just felt like the bottom was falling out from underneath us.

That is exactly where we find the children of Israel in Lamentations chapter five. In this case, they were being disciplined by God, their loving Heavenly Father, for their sins. They had chosen to “buy into the pagan system” of their day (boy, does that sound familiar) and God was grieved and angry. The bottom had fallen out of their lives. They were dealing with famine, war, violence, and complete despair. The writer of Lamentations is drawing the desperate picture for us, and right in the middle of all the discouraging details, he penned these words in verse twenty. “…and yet God, You’re still sovereign, Your throne intact and eternal.” No matter how bad things were, he recognized Who was still in control.

This isn’t always easy, but this is an amazing truth that is often times our only hope. No matter how difficult life may get, God is still sovereign and His throne is still intact and eternal. We can trust Him with our health concerns. We can rest in His sufficiency, knowing that no matter how hard the storm rages, His Anchor holds. Corrie ten Boone said it so eloquently, when she said, “There is no pit too deep, that He is not deeper still”. We are never so far that His arm cannot save us. Our life is never so dark, that He cannot see exactly where we are.

When life seems to be spinning out of control, hang on, my friend, because God, the Creator and Sustainer of this universe, is still in complete control. He is still on His throne, where He will remain for all eternity, and He is working all things (the good, the bad, and the ugly) together for our good and for His glory!


Lord, thank you that you are God and you are in total control. Thank you that your reign is eternal and there is nothing, or no one, that can overthrow you. Thank you that you are, right now, working everything together for our good and we can trust you. Help us to remember when life is hard, whether it’s due to our own sin or circumstances out of our control, that nothing surprises You and nothing is too big for You.

In Him ~
Tammy…


You can read more from Tammy by visiting her personal blog at Steps In Our Journey

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Friday, September 21, 2007
 
Bloom

Stretch, Beloved. Grow. Be malleable...

He whispers to me when my heart begins to beat faster in anger. Fear. Worry.

From our third floor apartment, the autumn breeze is blowing through the screen door on our deck. We sniff appreciatively and smile to ourselves; our favorite season is beginning.

But before too long, our noses wrinkle. My head begins to ache, and I realize that the cool breezes we were inhaling have been tainted with the smell of cigarette smoke, from the neighbor on his deck below. In irritation, I slam the sliding glass door against the smoke, and, unfortunately, against the beautiful crisp air we were enjoying.

Heads bowed over school books, the dining room is quiet. Eliana, for a moment, is also peaceful in the living room, poring over her board books from the library.

But in a moment, it is over. Through the thin walls, shouting can be heard, and the voices are not kind. I rub Corban's back as he tenses, and gently turn Micah's chin back to his work as he looks up in anxiety. Mama holds it together on the surface, but below the surface, emotion is roiling.

As I stand at the kitchen sink peeling carrots, my boys wrestle in the living room. I smile as they tumble over each other, shouting in laughter; from time to time, someone cries out in pain, but soon they are rolling again. They move out onto the deck to continue their wild play - a 4x8 space that can hold little else but our grill and my husband's bike, and yet they find enjoyment.

All too soon, I think of the home we left. The wide open country spaces, no fences; rivers, trees and tall grasses for little boys to explore. I begin to fret that my boys will be stifled in this small space. I regret that I cannot send them out to run for a fifteen minute break from their books. I feel guilt that I do not pack things up more often for a walk or a roam on the grass down below.

Beloved, I do not send the fear, nor the guilt. I send opportunity.

An opportunity. Yes, Lord. I understand.

An opportunity to smile as I pull the glass door closed quietly, instead of with a bang. As my children look on, I show them how to handle these moments with grace. Stepping lightly to the baked apple pie candle on the counter and lighting it, filling the rooms of our home with delicious, autumn scent.

An opportunity to speak words of truth to my little ones as the voices we hear through the walls bring fear.

When I am afraid,
I will trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
What can mortal man do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)
Let's pray and ask God to help them, shall we? Bowing our heads and offering up our neighbors to His care. Singing aloud the song of David. Remembering that perfect love drives out fear.

An opportunity for creativity in the face of what seems a stifling of that gift. Heading to our storage unit and pulling out a box of games we had packed away for lack of space, making room for these good things. Preparing a schedule that runs the day in a way that makes individual time with Mama a priority, and bringing me to my knees in the morning for inspiration.

Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20)

I turn my face to the Son, unafraid to send roots down, even here. Bloom, Beloved.

I intend to.




You are always welcome at my little place - A Path Made Straight

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
 
You have fear of what??

Being a devotional writer guarantees two things in your life, one God is going to mess with you; teach you, stretch you, develop you. Secondly, you will go through things in your life so you can make applications. At least I hope that to be true because the story I tell you today I pray that someone will be blessed because I am still trying to figure things out. First off you have my permission to laugh with or at me, but what may come across as funny was not funny at the time.

Fear is not something I really have had to deal with on a daily basis. I know there are some sweet sisters that do deal with phobias, or fear due to failing health of a loved one, etc.. I don’t want to make light of any of that, fear comes in all shapes and sizes. I found in the last few weeks that I had to deal with some fear and God being God had to get my attention in a funny but very real way through two different circumstances. I have to say part of me is embarrassed to share this, but “Lord please let it bless someone else…”

I have had opportunities that have been coming my way. These opportunities are God blessing me, I know, but in reality they are having me step out of ALL my comfort zones. I have always known that the Lord wants to work through me in one way or another, but I am going to have to be willing to step in the water first before He takes over. I have to be willing to jump off the cliff so he can help me fly, so to speak. Well some of these “blessings” have caused me great anxiety. Fear of the unknown, fear of making a fool of myself, fear of failing. I am sad to admit a big part of me wanted to walk away from some of the blessings because they seem “too hard” and frankly I was just scared. How sad is that? It was a battle going through my mind constantly, and fear had been affecting my health and basically paralyzing me. To be honest I think it was God bringing to the surface things I have stuffed down. Like I said God being God had to drive the point home. (I can be so thick headed sometimes...ok ALL THE TIME)

I was doing laundry about a week ago (do you see that it has take me a WEEK to even breath a word of this), anyways I was doing laundry like I always do. My washer and dyer are located in my garage. As I was picking up some clothes to toss in the washer, there sitting on the washer was a spider of epic portions. I have lived in Arizona and now in Florida, but I have NEVER seen a spider this big outside of a glass. This spider was so big it would not even begin to fit through my vacuum hose if I wanted to suck it up, which we do to all the other little spiders we find along the way. I was paralyzed with fear. I dropped the laundry and walked in my house and locked the doors. Hubby went out later in the evening after he got home and could not find the spider, but there were still clothes in front of the washer piled up so I was sure the spider was still there.

That night I had nightmares about the spider. This had truly terrified me!! So what is a girl to do? I head to Target the next day and purchase a Raid Fogger that I set off in my garage to kill anything whatsoever living. You would think that would have given me comfort but it did not. I KNEW I had to do laundry again. So I opened the garage door (mind you this is a day after the spider was found, and AFTER I set the fogger off to kill everything), took a shovel and proceeded very carefully picking up the dirty clothes (with the shovel) because I was so scared the spider was in the clothes and/or under the lip of the washer. I shoved the clothes into the washer, knocked the washer shut and reached over very quickly with the extra hot water setting and washed the clothes. Ran back inside and locked the door. Once the washer was done, I got my tongs I use in the kitchen, laid a shirt over the lip of the washer in case the spider was under the lip of the lid, that way the shirt was blocking it. And I used the tongs to get the wet clothes out and into the dryer. The whole time my eyes were darting everywhere.

Yes it is funny, but I had real paralyzing fear. My poor boys have listened to my screeching about doors being opened for the past week for fear the spider will get back in. Somehow I knew the spider was not dead, I just knew it. But VERY S L O W L Y I have been doing my laundry again. I would be lying if I told you I can walk in to my garage today without a little bit of fear right now.

Well a few days ago, my oldest son come running in the house and yells for my middle son, “You have to come see something really quick. Come fast!!” I was only paying half attention, but middle son runs out of the house. Then a few minutes later he comes back and says, “Um Mom do you have any bug killer?” I said “why?” And oldest son is yelling, “don’t tell Mom she will freak!” See my kids knew about my fear. It turns out the HUGE spider was now in my front yard (think bigger than your hand, including fingers). I wish I could say I went out there to protect my sons, but I handed them the bug spray and as they said, “they sprayed the daylights out of the spider.” And hit the spider with the hose, etc…

God was trying to get through to me about fear. Do you want to know what I came across in my devotional? Sometimes when you want comfort and understanding, you get a quick kick in the butt. The verse said:

The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside!" or, "I will be murdered in the streets!" Prov 22:13


God was telling me….. in fact I felt the admonishment of “GET OVER IT” there is fear whether it is in circumstances or in bugs!!! I don’t feel God was calling me a sluggard, but he was telling me to let go of my (fear, excuses, lack of faith) so he could move in my life. This has been a difficult two weeks, and the “getting over it” is a process that I am, with his strength, overcoming albeit slowly.

God said, “Girl I want to use you, but we need to get over the hurdle of paralyzing fear.” I love how God drives homes points in my life sometimes. How thick headed of me that it had to take a spider of epic portions to do it. Do I know where the spider is now? I think it is dead due to the destruction of three ambitious boys that love to protect their Momma. What about the blessings that are causing me fear? They are still there but because of the spider incident I know I can move forward knowing God is with me always….even in the laundry room.

Do you have a fear that is in the way of being all God wants you to be? Hit it head on girl, the Lord is going to walk you through it. Notice I did not say deliever you from it, but walk you THROUGH IT.




PS- I know you will all be happy to know I did do many loads of laundry this weekend, and yes I was very proud of myself. I know it just would not fly with hubby if I said, "but honey I have a phobia of doing laundry..." Like I said, yes this is a funny story but it has formed one big lesson on my heart. And I had to chuckle because after I wrote this devotional the song, "Dive" from Stephen Curtis Chapman was blaring....

My heart is racing and my knees are weak, As I walk to the edge, I know there is no turning back, Once my feet have left the ledge, And in the rush I hear a voice That's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith, So here I go......



I would love for you to visit me at Book Buzz here on CWO or my personal blog: Laurel Wreath



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Monday, September 17, 2007
 
Simply Believe

“Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.”
~ Psalm 103:2-4 (ESV)

Working with over 600 employees at the corporate office (300 in the accounting department), I come in contact with many different faiths. One of my coworker’s I work-side-by-side is Muslim—a devout Muslim. Since this is the month of Ramadan, he is fasting from sunrise to sundown. He is also expected to put more effort into following the teachings of Islam as well as refraining from anger, envy, greed, lust, sarcastic retorts, backbiting, and gossip.

Driving to work the other day, I though about my own faith. My co-worker’s faith is based on his own works to make it to heaven. Do you realize that Christianity is the only faith on this earth that is not based on works of an individual? All we have to do is to believe. Believe that the work has been done by one Man—Jesus Christ. He stretched out His arms to remove our sins – as far the east is from the west…

“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”
~ Psalm 103:10-12 (ESV)

It still amazes me every single day how gracious our Lord is. Even though I have sinned and continue to sin, He removes every single stain to make me white as snow. I don’t deserve His goodness—He continues to love me. His love brings me to tears every single day—I don’t know how to thank Him for that.

Although I am not required to do works, I still want to refrain from anger, envy, greed, lust, sarcastic retorts, backbiting, and gossip. Not because it is my ‘ticket’ to heaven, but I want to thank Him for His sacrifice.

As for my co-worker, I pray for him. I pray that he will get curious about me own faith. That maybe one day he will ask me questions what Christianity is all about? I am ready for his questions…

Lord of Heaven and Earth. I want to thank You today for Your love. You don’t require works from me to spend eternity with You. You have accomplished it at the cross. Lord, I ask You today to open the hearts of the ones who do not know You yet. Give me the words to share, to point to the cross. In the precious name of Jesus I pray ~ Amen.

Do you know Him yet? Do you want to know more about Him and His saving grace? If you are ready to give Him your life, please visit our “Ready” page.



You can also find me at my personal blog Sting My Heart

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Sunday, September 9, 2007
 
Recognizing Our Traveling Companion


One week ago today, I pulled myself away from my 18 year-old son and left him “all alone” to begin his new life at college. Heart-wrenching!

I hardly had time to process my grief because two very beloved cousins whom I had not seen in years spontaneously flew in to visit. Joy! Twenty-four hours later, they zipped off with no assurance or plan for our ever being together again. Sorrow!

Note the events in one week: Sad separation, ecstatic reunion, sad separation. Picture water faucets being twisted one way full-force, then jerked back the other way, then the other way. The water works flowed.

But God is good. He had led me to re-read Luke 24 several times lately, and now I think I know why. Separations and reunions were about to happen all around me, and my loving Lord would prepare me, if I would recognize his voice, to receive his peace.

Luke 24:17 tell us that on the road to Emmaus, the two disciples’ faces were “downcast,” probably revealing confusion, fear of the future, disillusionment. Often the disciples forgot/didn’t understand Jesus’ mission, even though he told them exactly what to expect, and even though the angel at the tomb reminded them, “Remember how he told you ….” Still, I have compassion for these guys. It’s hard to be clear-headed when you’re grieving.

But--there was a reunion at dinnertime: as soon as Jesus broke bread with them, they recognized him with spiritual eyes and in their hearts. Immediately, they went back to their friends with renewed hope, vigor and joy!

This account shows that Jesus cares when our hearts are heavy. If we will recognize him in the midst of our pain, he will renew us, too.

John Piper notes that Jesus’ ascension is called the "Ascent of Joy."

He adds, “Ordinarily when our best beloved departs on a long journey we do not rejoice. We cry. In order for that crying to be turned into rejoicing we have to be deeply assured of two things.”

The first criterion is that we believe the separation is not final. The Lord gave us many promises about being reunited with him, but John 16:22 is very pointed: “You are now very sad. But later I will see you, and you will be so happy that no one will be able to change the way you feel.” He promised us, “There are many rooms in my Father's house. I wouldn't tell you this, unless it was true. I am going there to prepare a place for each of you. After I have done this, I will come back and take you with me. Then we will be together” (John14:2-3).

The second criterion is that “we must be assured that the separation is best for us and best for our beloved.”

And here, of course, is the line that brought all of this together for me: “It has to be more like sending your nine-year-old off to camp or your 18-year-old off to college. And so it was. The ascension of Jesus Christ into heaven at God's right hand was an ‘ascent of joy’ because it meant that the greatest possible blessing would come to Jesus and to his people.”

The Son was returning to his glory with his Father, and we became the beneficiaries of eternal mediation between God and man, provided by the Spotless Lamb. He returned to his rightful place, and we received a blessing we had no right to receive.

This week, my Comforter met me on my own Emmaus walk. Now I’m ready to square my shoulders, turn around and carry on what I was about before, renewed and reminded of his faithfulness.

If you feel as though you’re walking alone today, look up, and recognize your traveling companion. “… For He [God] Himself has said, ‘I will not in any way fail you, nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake, nor let you down or relax my hold on you! Assuredly not!’” (Hebrews 13:5b, Amplified)



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Wednesday, September 5, 2007
 
Imagine That!

“Laurel close those blinds, we are like fish living in a fish bowl with the blinds wide open,” my Mom would always say. So I would pretend I was a fish and swim over to close the blinds. As a little girl I would lie in bed and look out my window staring at the moon dreaming that my future prince charming was looking at the same moon. I would dream about what he was doing, or where he was living. Also I would dream of my wedding day, what I would wear and who would be there. My imagination carried me many places while growing up.

As I grew and I studied the bible more and more my imagination traveled back through the bible studies. What did the wine that was just water moments ago taste like? Did the wedding attendants realize how special that drink was? Or were they oblivious to the miracle that was just performed? What did it look like when Christ was feeding the 5,000? And did they realize that he was serving with a broken heart because he just lost one of his closest friends, John the Baptist? Was the fish and bread the best they have ever tasted?

Imaginations can be used for good or for evil.

Because I am a dreamer I can get carried away, when things don’t happen according to MY dreams or MY plans, I find myself crying out to the Lord. Or in my imaginations I can predict how someone or something is going to react and I can have a complete argument or plan of action ready before one word is spoken. Then I am caught off guard or disappointed when things do not go according to my imagined will. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5 NIV) Satan is sly, he can try to capture your imaginations and use them against the will of God, but we need to measure everything according to the knowledge of God. Battle of the mind is something women especially struggle with, or at least I do.

But imaginations can be used for good also. They can allow us to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others. Imagination gives us the heart and desire to reach out to help others. “May my meditations be pleasing to him…” (Psm 104:34 NIV) It also helps to enhance and deepen our prayer life. “…you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my laying down; you are familiar with all my ways..” (Psm 139:2b-3 NIV)

Isaiah 66:18 says, “And I, because of their actions and their imaginations, am about to come and gather all nations and tongues, and they will come and see my glory.” (NIV)

It is just like God to make one of our greatest weaknesses (our mind) and turn it into a strength. Through our imaginations we will see God’s glory. Satan will try to steer our imaginations away from God, knowing this is an area that will help us draw us closer to God. Eve was led astray by her imagination; she imagined what it would be like to be like God. Therefore, it is important to measure everything up against the knowledge of God. But in return, God will use our imaginations to help us draw closer to him and to display his glory.

Why do you think this song is so powerful? Because our imagination is powerful!


"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.


Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!" ~Mercy Me




I would love for you to visit me at Book Buzz here on CWO or my personal blog: Laurel Wreath



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Thursday, August 23, 2007
 
When you struggle with doubt...

Zechariah was the father of John the Baptist. He was a Priest and served God blamelessly, and unfortunately Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth did not have any children. They had prayed and prayed a long time for God to bless them with a child.


To put into perspective the position of Zechariah, he was the Billy Graham, Beth Moore, or ______ (insert name) of their time. He was a man who followed God as closely as a person on earth could.

One day Zechariah was performing his duties as Priest by offering incense in the temple while people were praying on the outside. An angel of the Lord visited Zechariah and said,

"Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth
will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John. He will be a joy
and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be
great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented
drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth. Many of the
people of Israel will he bring back to the Lord their God. And he will go on
before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the
fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to
make ready a people prepared for the Lord." Luke 1:13-17 NIV


What was his reaction?

Was it one of great joy because his prayers were heard and answered?

No, it was one of doubt. Zechariah responded by saying, “How can I be sure of this?” (vs18) This may seem like a logical reaction, but Zechariah was in the hollies of hollies, in the presence of God and he questions the words given to him. The angel responded by saying:


"I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak
to you and to tell you this good news. And now you will be silent and not able
to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which
will come true at their proper time." (Luke 1:19-20)




My version is Gabriel thinking of all the nerve! And then he politely says, " Zechariah, don't you know who I am? I am Gabriel, one sent by God himself, but yet you doubt! For because of your doubt...be silent!" (these humans can be so impossible!) Ok all joking aside.

With Zechariah’s background he knew about angels, he knew in the Old Testament they came and brought good news. God called Zechariah to have faith and trust. Many times we have the knowledge of God’s word but we need to make the journey through faith to trust. Trust says logically you have the knowledge, but faith is putting that trust in action. One is in your head the other in your heart.

For example, we share a confidence with a friend, we have the head knowledge that this is a close friend, but once you share your confidence you need to have faith to trust that the confidence will not be shared.

I love the story of Zechariah this story gives me hope. If Zechariah can doubt or question then I to have hope that God won’t give up on me. God silenced Zechariah because of his doubt, but through that God was restoring him back to the faith he once had. Circumstances can be God leading us to trust him, but we can only trust through faith. With Zechariah it was in the stillness and silence that God was cultivating and growing his faith.

To put this in contrast, soon after this happened there was a little girl who an angel came to visit and told her she would bear a child, and he will be the long awaited coming Messiah. Mary had great faith so she did not question the angel.

I am not implying Zechariah did not have great faith, but he did doubt and God restored him. This story is showing that Godly people can struggle with doubt, but God will work to restore those who doubt back to faith. Praise God he does not give up on the ones who love Him.




You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath

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Friday, August 17, 2007
 
Tests, Trials, and Faith

There are definitely times when our faith is tested. I know for me this is one of those times….

My wedding is three weeks away and there is still a lot to be done. I have had to depend on Ryan to get things done lately because my grandmother is in the hospital with an enlarged heart, irregular heartbeat, and pneumonia. She will have a pacemaker put in on today (Friday morning). We have been in this hospital for four days now. I miss my boys. My grandma is miserable here. She wants to go home. It is hard to stay positive when I am hearing so much negativity from her all day long. She is not a happy patient. ;o)

I don’t think either of us has slept more than three hours a night since we have been here. It is taking its toll on us.

I am grateful that I was there when she had the arrhythmia episode and passed out. She quit breathing and nearly went face first into the tile floor. I can’t believe how much God sets things up in our lives. My brother “just so happened” to come over that night to get his eyebrows tweezed (yes, my muscular, military, rough, manly man brother has his eyebrows tweezed by his sister). I can’t say how happy I am that he was there. Because of his military training he knew exactly what to do.

I know that God has a good bit of revelation to give me through all of this. I am just not seeing the big picture right now. I can’t wait to write about it when I do!

There are many more trial going on right now but God is ultimately in control. I can’t tell you how happy I will be to finally be married, have a home again, and go on that much desired honeymoon. Have a great weekend ladies!

Romans 8:28
“All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”



I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31

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Thursday, August 16, 2007
 
Are you heading somewhere?

I love books! Recently I was straightening up and organizing my bookshelves so that I could find things a little more easily when I came across a little book I read about five years ago. It was Stormie Omartian's book, Just Enough Light for the Step I'm On - Trusting God in the Tough Times. Just as sights, sounds, and even smells can stimulate memories of days gone by, books I have read remind me of seasons and places I have walked with the Lord. This book was no different. I quickly thumbed through hi-lighted pages and markings I had made in the columns. I wrote verses to memorize inside the cover and stapled some notes to the back cover describing the place I had traveled while reading through this book. In Chapter ten, Stormie describes a wilderness experience she had in her own life which almost perfectly paralleled the place that I was currently walking in.

Below is what she had shared (in italics) and my own notes I had written about this season of my own life.

"When God is taking us to a place we've never been before, we envision that it's going to be better than where we are. And ultimately, that's true. But often we have to go through a wilderness to get there.
God has a purpose for the wilderness, but it's hard to see it when we're in it. It can be frightening if we don't know what to expect. The most frightening thing about it is the thought that this may be our final destination."


When God called my husband and I to leave Orange County and move to the foothills of Northern California, it was one of the most difficult things I had ever done in my life. I had to leave what I loved and what was familiar to me to go where everything seemed foreign. Not that one culture was better or worse than the other, but they were so extremely different from each other. I can distinctly remember the first time I drove down a dirt road. At the age of thirty seven I had never driven on dirt, blacktops yes, dirt no! There were so many new things to learn and even a vocabulary that was totally foreign. I had to become familiar with a wood burning stove and what it meant to have well water and a septic tank. There were lots of new discoveries like the sight of deer crossing through our front yard, squirrels everywhere and even the stars and darkness of the night was new. I was a city girl. I felt like I was in the middle of a foreign land. It was as though I had left Egypt and arrived in the wilderness.


Even though there was a lot I did not miss about Orange County, there were many things that I still held on to. And even though the foothills were probably one of the most beautiful places in the world, so much was missing for me. I felt like an alien. And, just like the Israelites did when God led them out of Egypt, I grumbled and complained.

"Oh, for some fish and a new pair of shoes like we had back home!" they complained.

"Oh, for the restaurants, amusement parks, and beaches I used to go to!" I moaned.

I didn't know then that although the wilderness may seem like nowhere at the time, it is somewhere if that's where God wants you. For it's there He will prepare you for the good thing He is about to do in your life. It's there you will be thoroughly convinced that you won't get anywhere or accomplish anything lasting without Him.

At the time I did not know how long I would live in this place. All I knew is that I was somewhere. I was to leave behind the familiar, the comfortable, the past successes and accomplishments. The foothills is where God took me to get Egypt out of my heart. He wanted to separate me from all that I craved, so that all I craved was Him. God aimed me in a new direction. I had to let go of what I had always known, be willing to embrace the unfamiliar and trust that He will sustain me on the journey.
God took the Israelites through the wilderness because taking them the direct route meant they would have to fight the Philistines. "Then it came to pass, when Pharaoh had let the people go, that God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near; for God said, 'Lest perhaps the people change their minds when they see war, and return to Egypt'" (Exodus 13:17) God knew that the Israelites would have been too afraid at that point to trust Him to fight their battles for them, so He took them on a different route. He took them and me somewhere.

Is your nowhere leading you to God's somewhere?

It's not where we are in life that matters, but Who is with us. Stormie Omartian


In Him...Chris

visit Chris at her personal blog Come to the Table

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Friday, August 10, 2007
 
Tabitha

Tabitha, whose name in Greek is Dorcas, was a woman with a servant's heart. She lived in Joppa, which was one of the earliest Christian cities. Dr. Luke in the book of Acts calls her a disciple or a “learner” of Christ. She was known by her good works, she sewed clothing, she helped the widows and the poor. But she also suffered with an illness. Now let me pause here.

Here was Tabita a woman known for her good works, and she suffered from an illness. We don't know what illness she had, but it was enough to kill her. If you will allow me to read between the lines-here was a woman who had her own set of problems. I am sure she had some form of pain, but each day with whatever strength she had, she was serving others. I get a sore throat and I am in bed, and wondering why others are not serving me! I am joking, but what is our attitude when we suffer from an affliction? Is it one of pity? Do we sit there wondering “where is everybody?” I know I have been guilty of that attitude in the past.

Tabitha did die (Acts 9:37) from her illness. And there was great mourning, many of the widows she helped stood around crying (Acts 9:39). Other disciples heard of her death and sent two men to retrieve Peter. They knew God used Peter to perform miracles, and they could not bear to lose Tabitha. Peter came to see Tabitha, and he sent everyone out of her room. He got down on his knees and said simply, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes and sat up. Through Peter, God used His power to to lead many to Christ (Acts 9:42). This began what is called the Dorcus-Society, a society known for charity work.

Now works do not save you, only accepting Christ as your personal Savior is the only way to salvation. But through Tabitha many people benefited from her servant's heart, and God used her in a mighty way to bring glory to Himself.

How is God using your life to bring others to salvation? If someone never spoke a word to you, but watched you from afar, would they know there is something different about you? Would they see a servant's heart?

Acts 9:36-42

In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which, when translated, is Dorcas), who was always doing good and helping the poor. 37About that time she became sick and died, and her body was washed and placed in an upstairs room. 38Lydda was near Joppa; so when the disciples heard that Peter was in Lydda, they sent two men to him and urged him, "Please come at once!"

39Peter went with them, and when he arrived he was taken upstairs to the room. All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them.

40Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed. Turning toward the dead woman, he said, "Tabitha, get up." She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up. 41He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. Then he called the believers and the widows and presented her to them alive. 42This became known all over Joppa, and many people believed in the Lord.


Father help cultivate a servants heart in me. Amen.




You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath

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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
 
Life Changes, But I Cling to My Anchor

In three weeks, our household is going to change drastically.

Instead of maintaining four vehicles, we will dwindle to two, allowing me to pull into the garage without weaving through our private summer obstacle course called, “The driveway.”

Our grocery bill will plummet like the first drop of a roller coaster. The telephone will ring less. Toilet paper will no longer be on the endangered species list. Best of all, my little dog, a walking aggregation of nerves, will no longer be launched into outer space when our kids’ friends ring the doorbell. (Her rockets fire before “ding” becomes “dong.”)

The reason for these changes? Two of our three kids are leaving for college--my son, Jordan, for the first time.

Cue the violins, because no matter how much I’ll appreciate the pleasant changes, when I see their empty chairs at dinner and empty beds each night, I will struggle with just that—emptiness.

I know that life is transitional and that the ultimate goal of rearing kids is to guide them to complete independence. Still, I long for permanence I can count on no matter how many years pass, no matter how my circumstances, my job, my interests or my role as mom changes. I need an anchor.

Happily, just such a mainstay of peace has been mine over the years, even when my footing was unsure, or my heart raced with fear, or ached with sadness--as when we left our daughter at college that first time. My anchor has been the constant friendship of Jesus.

In all of my ups and downs, relationship struggles, personal failures and insecurities, I have not been alone. When my head hit my pillow at night, I knew I was under his watchful eye. When I awoke to face another problematic day (Is there any other kind?) I trusted that he knew the paths I would take and would even order my steps if I submitted to him. When I walked through fiery trials, he didn’t extinguish the flames, but he held my hand through them. As a result, the purifying heat helped refine me, but more importantly, helped me know him more intimately.

As I prepared for Jordan’s graduation a few weeks ago, I found a stick figure crayon drawing he made for us when he was six. On the page I had written, “Jordan wants us to keep this, even when he goes to college.” And now that time is here. I did indeed keep it, treasuring the thought that as much as kids want to grow up and away, they also need an enduring love they can depend on; they need an anchor.

My greatest hope is that as my children grow more independent of us, they will grow more dependent on the one who loves them unconditionally and unflinchingly, through all of their personal trials. Despite the best of intentions and efforts, no parent, spouse, or child of their own will ever be able to completely or perfectly fulfill their needs. Only the one who the writer of Hebrews acknowledges as “the same yesterday, today, and forever” is capable of such pure and abiding love.

As a result of his faithfulness, I am able to release my grip on my son and daughter, and the only clinging I’ll do will be to Jesus, my steadfast anchor and friend.



Please come visit my personal blog at 2nd Cup of Coffee.

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Thursday, May 24, 2007
 
"Why?"

When he was four years old, he asked a lot of questions. Or, I should say, he asked the same question a lot of times. Wide-eyed, anticipating a sensible answer, he would look at me as though I held all knowledge, ready to serve it to him in response to his every, "Why?" And I did my best to answer his simple questions in terms he could understand. If he'd just sat still long enough.

That was back when his dad and I were nearly as smart as God in his big, brown eyes. Back when a kiss could make it better and sadness could be washed away with a sippy cup of juice. Back when the world could be conquered from atop training wheels and world peace was threatened only by inevitability of a good, soapy bath.

At age ten, his questions are now more sophisticated. "How do we know for certain if someone else is saved? When is God coming back? Didn't God tell Adam and Eve about Satan? Why do some people know how powerful God is, but still refuse to obey Him?" And I do my best to help him find answers in verses, sometimes failing and admitting, "I don't know."

Touched by three deaths and the debilitating illness of a child in the past week, my prayer list is long. Or, I should say, it's short since it includes only one question, "Why?" I look heavenward, wide-eyed, anticipating a sensible answer from the One who does hold all knowledge. He hands me His Word to answer me in terms I can understand. If I just sit still long enough.

He never says, "I don't know."

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
1 Corinthians 13: 11-12


Carol's blog can be found here.

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Monday, May 21, 2007
 
Letting Go

Remember in Proverbs 30: 19 that poetic verse about seemingly commonplace moments that are actually marvels beyond comprehension? They include: “the way of an eagle in the sky, a snake on a rock, a ship on the sea, and the way of man with a maiden.”

Well, I’m adding one more to the list of bafflers: the way of a mother planning her child’s graduation open house.

You've got to see (or be) a mom in this mode to believe it. One minute she can be all business, organizing food lists, decorations, music ... and then become an emotional blubbering mess in the blink of an eye.

“I can’t believe my baby is all grown up!” becomes the tag line in any conversation concerning that child. For instance, Mom could be talking with the manager of the dental office who called to remind her of the child's appointment. Before she hangs up, she will somehow work in the refrain, "Yes, he'll have to switch from the pediatric dentist to our dentist because he's graduating this month, you know. I just can't believe he's all grown up!"

In Indiana, a mom of a high school senior in the month of May is a force to be reckoned with—or better yet, to be avoided completely! There’s a tradition here of having an open house around graduation time that resembles a scaled-down wedding reception. The pressure and stress of this event can be overwhelming if you're not a natural “entertainer” or hostess.

And this is where I am personally this week. My son is graduating high school. By the time you read this, the open house will have happened yesterday afternoon, and I am anticipating a bit of melancholic let-down Monday morning.

It would be easy to poke fun at the moms who build “shrines” for their kids at this milestone, but I’ll resist, because I “get it.” I think there is an underlying, unstated reason behind the frenzy that deserves some compassion.

At the heart of this circus is a mother’s process of letting go, saying goodbye, to her child. Many moms begin grieving at the beginning of the senior year, and the last month is highly emotional. In spite of a different kind of parenting that lies ahead, moms start to feel that there’s nothing productive left to do, and so they create something to do for that child. It’s like staging one last hurrah to say, “I love you. I’m proud of you—and does this make up for not doing the fundraiser in elementary school, the track meet I missed in junior high and the time I called you ‘honey’ in front of your coach?”

It’s all about that deep, unconditional, heart-tourniquet kind of love that looks a little desperate during this transition. What a paradox—a mom’s goal is to guide her dependent child to independence, and yet there is an inescapable desire to hold on to him. It’s baffling—beyond comprehension—the bittersweet way of a mother with her child who’s on the threshold of independence.

My son was dedicated at 3 months old. We were determined to give him the most solid spiritual background we could so that when he reached this point in life, he could take the next steps toward an ever-deepening relationship with Christ.

In many ways, it’s time to let him go now—let him make many new decisions that I may or may not agree with. That is a little scary.

So today, I’m clinging to scripture from comfort. I have always cherished Luke 2:19, “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Even though Mary held the Savior of the world who would inevitably become famous in some way, in that moment, he was primarily "her" son. She knew she would have to let him carve his own way once it was the proper time, but for now she could treasure the time with him and treasure the potential he embodied. I guess the sweetness of that verse moves me, but also just knowing this ambivalence I feel, pride mixed with a little grieving, is a normal part of motherhood that crosses time and culture.

And John 14:1, Jesus’ comforting assurance, though so familiar, is so meaningful: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”

Finally, John 28:7 “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.”

Thank you, Lord, for making me the mother of my son. May he become all that you destined him to be with a heart that is perpetually drawn to you. Give me the grace to move into this next phase of parenting and to trust you now as I did the day he was born. Your faithfulness lasts through all generations, and I am blessed with the privilege of trusting you with my precious son.


Visit my personal blog at 2nd Cup of Coffee

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Friday, May 18, 2007
 
Enough Is Enough

We are a baseball family and this spring has found us chasing hard after three boys on three ballteams, eating our weight in nachos and hotdogs, and feverishly washing uniforms night after night. The pace is maddening but the boys love the sport and their mom and dad love watching them play it.

With that said, our oldest has had a difficult year. He is on an overcrowded team whom he has never played with before. Translation: He has become a benchwarmer for the first time in his 7 year 'career'. Now, he is the kind of child that believes about himself what others believe about him. He thinks because he doesn't get to play that his coaches must not think he is good, therefore he has worked very hard to live down to their expectations. My heart has been broken as I have watched his esteem fall in direct proportion with the number of slots his name has slipped in the batting order.

During his last game he wanted to get a great hit SO badly but he struck out and later was thrown out at first. I knew he was devastated and couldn't wait to hug his sweet neck after the game. When he came off the field, I put my arm around him and said, "You okay?". I'll never forget his reply. "Not really. I didn't do one significant thing today."

How often has the enemy fed us that line? "You aren't good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough; therefore, you are worthless." And we hang our heads in agreement and accept whatever implications this will have in our lives. We adopt a mindset to expect rejection, anticipate failure and ultimately live a defeated life because of it.

I see this in my boy's face as he steps up to bat. He doesn't believe there is a homerun in him and it kills me because I know there is! I've seen that child in action! I've seen him earn the coveted game ball in the Little League World Series. I've cheered him on as he sent a hit soaring over the outfielders' heads. I've cried my eyes out as he made the play at the plate that won the big game. I know he can but I just don't know what to do so that he will remember.

I imagine God gets just as frustrated. He's got to bang His enormous head against the walls of the Beautiful City. "I know you can do this! Don't you remember what we have been through together? What else could I possibly do to prove to You I love you? How many more times do I have to provide before you have faith that I will always meet your needs? When are you going to accept that I am enough, that I am Who makes you significant?"

I had a long talk with my precious boy. "Who are the most important people in your life?", I asked. He answered appropriately with, "God first, then you and dad". Good answer. "Well God, me, and dad think you are Chipper Jones, Andruw Jones, and Javier Lopez all rolled into one, baby boy, and don't you let someone who is not the most important person in your life make you ever think otherwise. You choose to believe who loves you most." As soon as those words came out of my mouth I realized they were a God-inspired answer. We have to make a concious choice every single day to whose voice we will give power. Will it be the Father of Lies or the Voice of Truth? (Love that Casting Crowns song) Because let me say to you that if we choose the Lie, then he has gained all he ever wanted: precedence in our hearts and minds over God.

Dear Ones, choose to believe the One who loves you most! Choose the voice of the One who is on your side, the One who knows you are Esther, and Mary, and Hannah all rolled into one. He knows your heart and through Him what you are capable of and will not rest until you are convinced you are enough because He is enough.

I believe along with God that you have a homerun in you yet. Batter up!

2 Chronicles 20:20 "Listen to me, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed."

A little sidenote: Just got a call from the ballfield - MY BOY just crushed a ball into left field and was batted in to score the first and only run of the game. I do believe he has been listening to the Voice of Truth..:))


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Thursday, May 17, 2007
 
Who is God when he does not perform the miracle you seek?

This is an easier said then done message, for I wavered in posting it. But just as much as we like to talk about God's goodness, mercy, and grace there are other aspects that we need to take to heart for it is part of the package deal:

God is a God of miracles. We come to him with our prayers, as we should. We cry out in our darkness, and pray for light. We seek peace and comfort when things around us seem to be closing in. More times then not, God comes to our rescue. He is always there, he is walking beside each of us through our difficult times and many times he answers our prayers. But what if he doesn't?

A mother loses a child, a husband develops an illness, or like some missionaries find themselves in prison.

Jesus loved John the Baptist, from their first meeting while John was still in Elizabeth’s stomach he leaped for joy. John devoted his life serving Christ, and preparing a way for Christ’s dissension into this world. There should be NO DOUBT that Jesus loved John. But John found himself in prison; he was in a pit if you will. Do you ever wonder what John’s thoughts were during this time? I am speculating here, but if it were me I would be praying for my release. Praying to God because he is a God of miracles. Time passes, and John is still in prison. Finally John sends a disciple to ask Jesus “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else? (Matthew 11:2-6). Can you hear the depression and deep sighing from John? John is saying, “I’m still here in prison and I know you are a God of miracles, are you really the one who was to come?” Do you see the seeds of doubt in John? My goodness I think I would have acorns of doubt by then. Why is God not coming to rescue me?

Want to know Jesus’ response?

Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. Matt. 11:4-6

In Jesus’ response, he is telling John that yes he is who he says he is, but there will be no miracle for you. “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” Interpretation, blessed is the one who still believes because of who I am, not because of what I do or don’t do.

How do you respond when God does not perform the miracle you are expecting or diligently praying for? Is not God still God even when he does not save us (or a loved one)? Yes we are confused and may not understand why this “thing” is happening to us, but Jesus says “do not fall away on account of me.” God is still God even when he does not act the way we would like him to.

Why was my child diagnosed with this disease?
Why am I having medical problems?
Why did the prayers for my marriage go unanswered?
Why did God not respond the way I thought he should?

Sweet sister, this is a lesson the Lord just brought before me and it pierced my heart. How does it affect my faith when things don’t go my way, what if this disease ends up killing my family memeber? What if my loved one dies after a long battle? What if that woman who wants to become pregnant is never able to conceive?

Oh sister, there is so much pain and sometimes the miracle may pass you by, but that does not change one bit of who God is.


God is who he says he is, the end.... period..... no matter what happens.


God does want us to come to him, to pray for hurting people, to bring others who are weak before the throne. But realize God is God no matter how he responds.

Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. Matt. 11:4-6





Note: the words in this article are all mine (well except the scripture), but the idea came from an article I read by Sue Warburton titled “Where’s My Miracle? The God I wanted wasn't the God I was getting.” I just took the idea of her article and wrote my own words about how it spoke to me. Sue’s article is found in Discipleship Journal.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007
 
Showing Off

In Texas, wildflower season can be quite erratic. Like our rainfall. And our football teams.

Driving along the country roads this spring out here in Far Western Suburbia, my kids and I comment daily that God is absolutely showing off this year. We've had the most wondrous wildflower season! The flowers so lush and abundant, we find ourselves wanting to cheer God on with unbridled praise. "Go, God!" (Reckon the Cowboys will do as well this year with their new coach?)

And God has every right to show off. He is, after all, God - sovereign over every drop of rain, creator of every tiny bloom, painter of landscapes so breathtakingly beautiful they cannot be adequately captured by any artist or photographer. As His creation proclaims, He is beyond amazing! He, therefore, has every right to show off any time He pleases. And when He does, I am beyond amazed!

So, what gives me the right?

I work hard. I bust my tail to make a clean, comfortable, somewhat organized home for my family. I do my best to provide healthful meals. I encourage and support my husband, guide my children, serve my church and community, love my neighbor, play praises to Him on my instrument and, as a result, honor God as I administer the tasks He has called me to. Right?

Maybe. It sort of depends, really. Because sometimes, I'm really just showing off. And if I'm showing off, who is it really about?

I don't like for people - my husband, my children, my neighbors, my church family - to think badly of me. Many times, that's why I do what I do and strive to do a good job of it...Because I want to present myself to them in a good light.

Boil it all down, this tendency to show off, and what it basically amounts to is pride. Boil any sin down, and pride is usually at the core. But that's for another post.

The opposite of pride? Humility. Far less attainable than we think, true humility only comes through actively knowing God - knowing who He is, knowing what He's done, knowing He is sovereign - and bowing ourselves down in humiliation that we are not, nor will we ever be even close. We must daily seek God's hand as He holds us in the fires that will refine us into the image of Christ's perfect humility.

Sometimes, it's very uncomfortable. Sometimes it means others will hurt my feelings. Sometimes it means I will endure illness or other trials. Sometimes it means I must be silent in the face of persecution or adversity. All to often, it means admitting I'm wrong. In such cases I have the choice to either square my shoulders and jut out my chin or to accept that my rights were nailed to a cross so I can be made perfect in my weakness.

So, I grow flowers in my garden knowing that I can no more create a single flower than I can create an entire universe. The best I can do is kneel in the dirt to care for what He has given me - family, friends, neighbors, a home with a garden, talents, a ministry - and offer back to Him what is already His.

I have faith that He will, in turn, use those things to show Himself off to me. Because He alone has the right to show off, I will continue to praise Him in all things, whether He shows Himself off to me or not.

I have much less faith in the Cowboys.

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Friday, May 11, 2007
 
The Shelter of the Most High


I sat at the edge of the lake while my children played happily in the water nearby. Suddenly a shadow fell across my face. I looked up just in time to see the sun disappearing behind a big dark cloud. High in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, I had been told that often times a sudden down pour of rain could occur in the middle of a beautiful sunny afternoon. Before I could collect my three oldest children and run for shelter, the heavens opened and a down pour of rain came hard and very heavy. I was amazed how quickly the storm had gathered.
Thinking back to that day with all of us huddled together in the shelter wrapped in our wet towels with the clouds moving over us, my mind shouting the name, "Jesus!" always reminds me of another storm.

On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, "Let us go across to the other side." 36And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him. 37And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. 38But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" 39And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 40He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?" 41And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?" ( Mark 4:35-41 ESV)

Storms arise unexpectedly in our lives, too. A telephone call brings sudden jolting news. A letter brings disappointment. A child has an accident. A small pain develops into a serious illness. Or maybe the source of distress is just the everyday pressures and tensions that build and build until the dark cloud erupts into a storm.

I, too, have had my share of storms. Some have been brief afternoon showers. Others have been caused by tensions that have built up, threatening my serenity and peace. Still others have burst upon my life suddenly, hitting hard and leaving in their wake damage and debris. Like the disciples I have been afraid and have cried out, “Lord, don’t you care?” And later, when all is calm again, I hear Him say, “Chris, why do you have so little faith?”

He has never promised a life free from storms, but he has promised to be with us in the midst of them and to bring us safely to the other side. Psalm 91 is a triumphant song of faith. In it we learn that God is our dwelling place. It’s under His shelter that we are to abide. Join me now and read through Psalm 91. Read it again and again over the next several days. Your life and even the storm will not look the same.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91 :1 (you can continue reading here)



In Him...Chris




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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
 
Saying Grace

Grace.


Now, there’s an interesting word. Believers toss it out all the time in all sorts of situations. But, ask an unbeliever what grace is and she might say something like, “It’s what religious people say before they eat.” Makes you wonder what “non-religious” people do. Maybe they just say, “Dig in!” or “Bon appetite!” or just “Pass the salt.”

It also makes you wonder what definition of religious they’re talking about. Religious as in anybody that worships some sort of higher being? Like maybe Hindus? Or Buddhists? What about folks that worship celebrities? Or money? I think that should count. After all, they do see those things as being higher than themselves.

I’m just saying.

Other than Christianity, however, and really other than evangelical Christianity mostly, other “religious” people don’t really have much to do with grace. Grace in the biblical sense is the thing that separates us from all the other religions. We only get a shot at eternal life because of God’s grace. The gift of salvation for those who believe is the result of this grace. If you don’t accept the grace, all that’s left to you is your own works – your own ability to do…something. I don’t know what, but whatever it is you think you need, want, or can do to try to earn your place in heaven. You know, the works that don’t work because it’s only by grace that we have been saved, not by works. Because seriously, what can I possibly do that's great enough to merit eternal life? Even if I did come up with something, why should I get bragging rights? (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Being the oh, so not higher beings that we are, we have this propensity to mess everything up though, don’t we? Rather than accepting the grace and living in it as we should, we toss in our gold-plated monkey wrenches and mess it all up.

We start with doubt. Just a little doubt goes a long way. Kind of like Peter, who was told by Christ to step out of the boat and walk on the water. Things started out okay, but Peter had this little doubt and began believing in the power of the waves more than the power of the One who said, “Come.” And so we believe in the power of our situations more than the power of the One who put us there.

Then we fall into despair. We become the Merry Martyrs and put ourselves into an emotional state that God never intended for us. Because we trust our emotions more than we trust our Creator.

Then we become undisciplined in our habits and our routines. We let things go; our appearance, our responsibilities, our walk with the Lord. Because we put more faith in what we want to do than in what He wants us to do.

Then we get really good at making all sorts of excuses. We beg off, we shun, we reject, we avoid… We are masters of the art of excuse-making, aren’t we? I totally impress myself with how superbly creative I can be in the excuse-making department. I’m so good at it, I’m surprise someone doesn’t pay me to write a book, “The Best Excuses for Any Situation You Want to Get Out Of.” It would make the NY Times Bestseller list in a heartbeat.

Lastly and probably most impressive of all, we give ourselves permission to blame. Doesn’t matter who we blame. God is a good target. Family members work. Friends, neighbors, strangers, the dog…we’re pretty random and not all that selective sometimes. Whoever happens to be handy at the time will do just nicely. Because, after all, we can’t possibly be expected to be held responsible for the lack of grace with which we live our lives. Can we?

Instead, of entering into such a messed up cycle, we could actually live in the grace Christ extends to us through His death. Oh, we accept the salvation part of it okay, but do we really live out the grace part? Here’s what it looks like:

--We resist all thoughts that speak against the character and goodness of God. That includes hurtful thoughts about ourselves or others. We all are, after all, image bearers of God. If Jesus wouldn’t think it about us, should we think it about ourselves? (2 Corinthians 10:5)

--We destroy that place of self-pity and self-indulgence. While you’re at it, go ahead and destroy all the self stuff; self-service, self-esteem, self-righteousness…everything except self-control. That one’s okay. (2 Corinthians 10:4)

--We truly be crucified in Christ. This life you live may not be the life you planned, but it’s exactly where God has you at exactly the time He has you there. Can you live it for the One who suffered and died for you? (Galatians 2:20)

Them’s fighting words!

To live in Christ is to die to self. How different this world would be if everyone just stopped thinking about themselves all the time. Their feelings, their opinions, how smart or thin or fat or sick or hurt or beautiful or talented or depressed or angry or whatever they are. Can we actively and audibly refuse to let those things block the grace Christ extends to us? The whole “What about me?” thing has us so bound and enslaved that we lose sight of God’s grace altogether.

Can we allow ourselves to have the grace to forget about ourselves and let Christ live in us and through us in the little everyday things? What about in the big things? Can we accept that we are who we are, where we are, in our present situation and allow His grace to flow in and through us?

Before each meal and in every moment in between, and with the power of the Holy Spirit at our disposal, I believe we can indeed live in His grace!


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Friday, April 13, 2007
 
Shake Shake Shake

Is it possible to have an entire week of bad hair days? I mean seven consecutive days of follicle revolt? Last week the part in my hair crossed over to the dark side. Literally. The top of my head looked like a dark river ran through it. Even my geriatric Dalmatian with cataracts could see I needed color. He barked at me as an unrecognized intruder last Thursday.

But this story is not about my bad hair week. This story is about what happened during my color weave at the salon. For those of you who have never experienced a foil color weave, let me just share this. You pray a thunder storm is not brewing overhead for fear of a lighting strike.

---

A warm greeting, a hug and into the chair I go. For the next 45 minutes my stylist colors and weaves foil through my hair while we talk incessantly. We cover all the hot topics such as Dancing with the Stars, the book The Secret (don’t get me going on this. Fodder for another post), husbands, marriage and finally we move to matters of faith. We chat about her children and her husband’s faith.

She pronounces me ready for the dryer. I rise from the chair, the black cape swirling around my ankles, head full of foil and walk to the hair dryer. Color works faster under heat.

She shoves a magazine in my hand, turns on the dryer and walks away. I read, glance around at the other patrons. I love to watch people. Just two minutes pass when she returns wearing a serious look on her face. She sits close to me in the adjacent chair, apprehension oozing. I could tell something is burning in her mind.

I hold up the magazine to shield our whispered conversation. “What is it?”

She stares seriously at me, hesitates then whispers quickly, “Is it true that when you sneeze you breathe in Satan.” My eyebrows shoot up. I cannot fathom why she would believe such a thing. I smile warmly and gently shake my head, “No, it is not true.”

I can see her shoulders relax; her serious look is replaced with relief. She jumps up and walks into the other room leaving me puzzling under the dryer.

Because of her covert questioning I realize this odd rumor is currently circulating among the stylists in the shop. I am amazed to think these intelligent, adult women believe such nonsense.

That is when it happens. I am struck by lightning. Not because of the foil in my hair. A spiritual lightning bolt hits home. I hear God whisper, “These women are greatly deceived about many things. They need salt and light.”

Shake, shake, shake. We are the salt shakers. He is the salt. Only through shaking out truth can we bring light to a dark world. So many people live in fear, believing half-truths or outright lies. They desperately don’t want to be afraid but they are. Christ’s followers know the truth and can set men and women free. Free from fear!

I am thankful I had the courage to discuss my faith over the last several months with my stylist. It opened a door for light to shine on deception….. Satan in a sneeze for crying-out-loud!

Jesus is salt and light. He illuminates deception. We need only be available, He will do the rest. Amazing!


Salt and Light
Matthew 5:13"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.

14"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.


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Thursday, April 5, 2007
 
"Watch Yourselves."

I ran across a post last week that struck a chord with me It’s a very familiar chord – one that most of us have heard play out at some point in the songs of our Christian lives, but never really stopped to appreciate. See if you recognize it.

In her post, Wherein the Post That Was Deleted is Now Restored, Lisa Writes describes an incident where she inadvertently offended someone yet never learned what she’d done to cause the offense and offers us a song of wisdom out of that event.

Anyone who has read She Lives for any amount of time is probably sick of hearing me say it on my blog, but I’ll say it again anyway. (You knew I would, right?)

Offense is probably the single most effective weapon in satan’s arsenal for dividing Christ’s Church.

There! I said it.

The English word ‘offense’ is translated from the Greek word skandalon from which comes the root of the English word scandal. One example of where this word skandalon is used in the Bible is at the beginning of the 17th chapter of Luke. Jesus words, “…things that cause people to sin…” is translated from the word skandalon. Literally, skandalon means “the part of a trap on which the bait is attached, and hence, the trap or snare itself…” (Strongs Exhaustive Concordance)

What Christ says about offense here is, “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come.” Woe! I don’t want no woe, do you? But offense is bound to come and woe to all those offense-type folks! The New King James Translation puts it like this, “It is impossible that no offense should come.” In this fallen world, there are times when we are going to offend people. And there are times when we are going to be offended. Offense happens in two ways; we can give offense or we can take it. Either way, offense becomes a trap!

Christ goes on to say, “It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.” The “little ones” described here comes from the Greek word mikros, meaning “…of persons with regard to station or age…” (ibid) So, He could have been talking about children, but in the context these verses fall in, it stands to reason He’s talking about station – the spiritually young. In some ways, that could mean anybody. Each of us is spiritually young in some area. My biggest area of spiritual immaturity comes in the area of mercy. That area of my life in Christ needs to grow! Maybe someone else is spiritually young in their inability to avoid being offended?

The sins caused by offense? How about unforgiveness, resentment, gossip, manipulation, malice, slander, divisiveness, betrayal, hard-heartedness, coloring the facts, ….Oh! And according to the greatest two commandments, failure to love a neighbor as oneself. That’s serious stuff to be causing by either offending or becoming offended, I’d say. Some serious stumbling blocks, indeed!

Paul does a little re-cap of this thinking in his letter to the Roman church: “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” Romans 14:13

Jesus then cautions His audience – His disciples – to “Watch yourselves.” Why the warning? Because they would be His emissaries, the preachers and teachers appointed to continue His kingdom agenda after His resurrection and ascension. Once He fulfilled his purpose for entering human history as a man, they were supposed to be the spiritually mature ones.

I love how He did not say, “Watch them.” Watch out for them, watch to catch them doing something wrong, watch that they don't mess you over, hold them under a microscope…. No. He said, “Watch yourselves.” It’s mirror time!

I love how Jesus issues that very convicting warning, then follows up with instruction. He doesn’t just tell the disciples what not to do, He also tells them what they are to do: If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him.”

The word for rebuke used here is epitimao. (Hang with me on the Greek stuff, okay?) Its meaning is different than another New Testament word for rebuke, elegcho, which has a much harsher meaning. Epitimao does not involve convicting a person, but rather confronting them. If they repent seven times….

Wait! Seven times in one day? Doesn’t seem like true repentance, does it? I guess He didn’t say for us to judge whether it’s true repentance or not though, did He?

Forgiveness is a huge issue. Much bigger than this post will allow. But I have one question: Are we to undermine Christ’s work on the cross by clinging to our offenses and refusing to forgive when Christ’s death was sufficient to pay the price?

Today is Good Friday, commemorating Christ’s death. Let’s think about that a little. Was His death enough to pay for whatever it is that offended us? Is it paid in full? Or do we need to do something else? Like hold a grudge? Like tell others about how wronged we were? Or how bad someone else is? What, exactly, is there left to do? (Okay. So, that was more than one question.)

The disciples’ response to Christ’s instruction is probably the most convicting thing about this entire passage for me. They didn’t go on about how all the Pharisees were persecuting them or about how insulting people were in some places where they’d served in ministry with Christ. They didn’t point out how the Roman government was oppressing God’s people or how wicked their world had become. They didn’t blame each other. They didn't dis' their church. They didn’t look for ways to twist scripture around to make themselves look good and make other folks look bad.

Their simple response: “Increase our faith!”

  • It takes a lot of faith to forgive those who have offended us.
  • It takes a lot of faith to humbly approach someone and apologize for any offense we may have caused them, whether we agree with their take on the situation or not.
  • It takes a lot of faith to bend our knees and ask the Holy Spirit to give us a heart of love for our fellow Christians rather than a heart of judgment and condemnation.
  • It takes a lot of faith to know the words “Father forgive them,” applies to each one of us.
  • It takes a lot of faith to really, truly believe His death was sufficient.

Maybe that’s a lot more faith than we can ever have apart from Christ. He’s the master musician playing the perfect chords in all the right places. Especially when it comes to grace and forgiveness. Listen to the chord He strikes:

Watch yourselves.”

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Tuesday, April 3, 2007
 
The Shadow of His Wings



Every day going to and from work, I pass a small municipal airport sitting so far from the road I rarely remember it’s there. Instead, I’m focused on the day’s events or on jabbing buttons to get to a better song.

Occasionally, out of the blue, a shadow sweeps over my car, quickening my adrenalin and firing up goose bumps. For a split second, as the interior of my car darkens and lightens again, all I know is that something big is happening all over and around me. Before I can make sense of it, it’s over. Afterwards, I smile at myself for forgetting where I am . . . airplanes tend to hang around airports.

No matter how many times I watch planes take off and land, I never get over the wonder of the physics and finesse of the maneuver. The procedure is so far above me, literally and mentally. And when one descends relatively close by, it’s always breathtaking.

I’ve noticed that God often reinforces such arresting images to teach or reassure me. For example, I was walking in my neighborhood listening to “Better is One Day” by Kutless, and a plane cast its shadow over me again. Coincidentally, there is a line in the song that says, “I sing beneath the shadow of your wings” (Psalm 63:7). I was sensing a theme. As I listened, it occurred to me that the “fly-over” is how I often experience God’s presence in my life, especially when I cannot seem to hear his voice or feel his direction.

Christians often talk about moments when we feel God’s presence or hear him speak and the times we don’t. Of course, God is faithful and constant, but we seem to have certain expectations of how he will communicate with us, and if he decides to use another means, we often miss hearing him. Other times, we might miss him if we’re simply too distracted by pushing life’s buttons, trying to get to the next best thing or stay ahead of the game. And how easy is it to miss his voice if we’re constantly submerged in TV, music, movies, telephone conversations, and (gasp) blogging? I’ve never known anyone who experienced Jesus walking into their room, turning off the TV or computer and demanding, “We need to talk!” although I have wondered about my occasional Internet shutdowns!

Obviously, we could write off those examples of apparent silence as our fault, but what about those times when we focus intently on hearing him, and we’re met with silence? Just the other day, I was following the ACTS L guide to praying (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication and listening). When I got to the listening part, I quieted my mind and waited, but I sensed no revelations, no guidance, not so much as a cricket chirp of communication. That can be discouraging.

Oswald Chambers has something interesting to say about silence: “[God’s] silence is the sign that He is bringing you into a marvelous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, praise Him, He is bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the answer in time is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you said – ‘I asked God to give me bread, and He gave me a stone.’ He did not, and today you find He gave you the bread of life.”

Some believe silence is holy--especially those with toddlers! I believe God uses periods of silence to deepen our faith. Perhaps silence tests us insofar as showing how little it takes to discourage us, in order to compel us to grow deeper. On the other hand, if we steadfastly continue to seek him during our trials, silence may help prove that our faith remains hardy in spite of circumstances, marking a robust and seasoned faith. If you’re waiting for a response to a specific prayer, remember how long Job waited to hear from God. In other words, waiting in and of itself can be a message.

So now I view periods of silence another way. I look for the Lord to “fly over” my life, covering me with his presence. Almost immediately, I begin to see him in others, in his creation, or in music. And no matter how many times I experience him close-up and personal like this, just as with the airplane flying low over my car, I never get over the wonder of it—he is awesome.

Our God casts a big shadow—a big, big, shadow, with the majesty of an eagle whose wingspan is immeasurable, with the precision and power of the most sophisticated aircraft and the tender care of a mother covering her children. His presence is all I need. The image of the mighty eagle swooping down and up, circling and watching, casting his holy shadow over my life, allows me to lay my head on my pillow at night in peace. And in my spirit, I sing beneath the shadow of his wings.

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Saturday, March 31, 2007
 
God's Best China

“In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work”. 2 Timothy 2:20-21

My mother-in-law can cook like nobody’s business and one of her specialties is good ‘ole southern potato salad. She has this special Strawberry Bowl that the potato salad goes in. Always.

Point being, special occasions warrant special dishes and spiritually speaking, you are God’s best china. The thing we always don’t understand is why God seems to overlook us for periods of time while someone else is being “used” on a regular basis. The same way we pull out a round cakestand for a carrot cake or a platter for the turkey, God will use us when we are the perfect fit. We all have our set of issues God has used to shape the women we have become. It is not enough, girls, to keep all that grace to ourselves. When He chooses to pull us out, we have to be prepared.

The same concept can be found in the life of Moses. Consider Stephen's testimony in Acts 7:20, "At that time Moses was born, and he was no ordinary child." The time Moses was referring to was the fulfillment of the 400 years of Israelite bondage in Egypt God had revealed to Abraham. The Greek word for 'time' used here signifies a set time in which a specific task must be accomplished. Moses was not just one of a generation that happened to suit God's purpose. He was placed on purpose to be God's chosen deliverer however reluctant Moses may have initially been.

See another fascinating example. The Hebrew equivalent of this same 'time' word gives the definition of "the appropriate time for an unrecurring incident." The Hebrew word is "Eth". Do you see whose name you can make out of that word? Esther. "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

Both of these examples show people who experienced waiting and questioned why they were placed in the positions they were in. Be sure to notice that in both these instances, just as in our own, there are unrecurring events that will be placed before us that will require a resolved 'yes'. Yes, Lord, I'll obey you even if the future is uncertain. Yes, Lord, You can trust me with your Name. It is when we are willing to disappear into Him that He is made all the more visible to the world around us.

Our God given tasks may begin as something which appears small. God knows when our faith has been built enough to trust us with opportunities for greater impact. He is always able, but just like Moses and Esther, there is a period of preparation He graciously gives us before we are led into the Red Sea or the King's Court. Be found faithful in looking for those opportunities to be the china He pulls out of the cabinet.

In response, how is God using you lately? Are you in a preparation period? If you don’t feel God is at work in you, will you commit to look for the opportunity? Will you ask Him to reveal how your circumstances are shaping you for His fame? If you will, I can promise He will not leave you on the shelf.


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Friday, March 30, 2007
 
So how do you feel today?

I'm hooked on a feeling.” just like BJ Thomas sang back in 1969. Our feelings are a very important part of who we are. We make decisions based on how we feel, or change our mind because we “had a bad feeling.” As you read blogs, even this post you are judging what I am saying with your current feelings and life experiences. You are determining how you “feel” about what I am saying.

Feelings are a gift from God; they allow us to feel empathy for another person. Feelings cause us to reach out and help, they are the seeds to falling in love, and feelings can be a very powerful force. But feelings should have a proper place in all things. Anyone that knows me personally knows this is a post I am preaching to myself. For some reason when God made me, he gave me an extra dose of “feelings.” My husband is often frustrated that someone else could go through something, but I share the feelings. This is for difficult times, and for times of great rejoicing. I live on a rollercoaster of feelings; I think God uses it in a good way. On the other hand, the Lord has, and continues to work with me, showing me where these strong feelings are good and where they need to be put into perspective.

Often times we (women especially) have the tendency to study or read something then weigh what we just read on impressions and feelings, then we turn these impressions into fact.

“ We let subjective impressions determine what we’ll accept as object facts.”

~C.J. Mahaney

Many of us are just programmed this way, our society contributes to this way of thinking. You hear terms like, how does it make you feel, follow your heart, if it makes you feel good then it must be right. This would be fine if our feelings were based on fact, but they are not. Our feelings betray us, lead us astray.

When it comes to studying God’s word and living a Godly life we need to place our feelings in their proper perspective. We don’t ignore our feelings, they are valid, but they have their proper place (David in the bible is an example of this, he stood on truth but had strong feelings). First we need the foundation of truth, truth is fact, truth is unwavering, unlike our feelings. If you are studying God’s word and reading the bible, your first question should not be, how do I feel about this? You should first ask yourself, do I believe this or not?

So how can you develop this in your life? I have learned how to talk to myself instead of listen to myself. When I was listening to myself I found I did not have very nice things to say, I complained, and God felt distant. When I am in the heart of battle and life is coming hard and my emotions are all over the place. I find my rock in unwavering truth.

Christ died for me.

God promised to never leave nor forsake me.

Jesus loves me.

I take verses and speak them out loud; I say them over and over. I speak the truth and let myself hear it, in return I feel Christ drawing nearer and it is on solid ground I stand (where there is no sinking sand). Then the feelings will build and strong affection for Christ increases, and then your emotions can carry you away in praising God. Our feelings are important, it is just not where we should begin when following Christ.


Update: The above post was written early in the day. I hate to say this but God likes to make me live through object lessons. And he is making me "live" what I just preached. Someone very close to me tonight miscarried (in the process of). This was not a normal miscarry either, this person believe she would never carry child and then found herself pregnant. It was like giving hope to believe, so many years after you released that hope. And if I am very honest, this pain I am FEELING, could lead me down a dark path, one it would take a lot to come back from. Right now I am broken, I am crying out to God, and I am standing at the cross road. One path God is asking me....are you going to let your pain and feelings direct you? The other path God is asking, are you going to walk with me and BELIEVE me despite the strong emotions you are feeling right now. I am sorry to be so raw here, but it was to much of a coincidence that I wrote this right before I got very painful news. I am here to say, despite the deep pain I am feeling right now and the tears streaming down my face I chose to believe God. And I will continue to believe and trust God.



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Tuesday, March 13, 2007
 
A lesson on prayer...


I sat quietly by her isolette as the machines offered their beeps and whooshes. I breathed in the medicinal scents and breathed out prayers. I sang to her, touched her little feet, and just waited. The waiting was long- two-and-a-half months- but each day brought us closer to her homecoming. I watched as other babies came and went, and other parents cried and laughed, all the while treasuring even the slightest interaction with my little one-and-a-half pounder. Her hand barely covered my fingernail; her cry was a kittenish one; her fully-opened diaper was the size of a postcard; her chances for overcoming the dozens of hurdles in her path were slim.

But we waited.
Prayer is the burden of a sigh, the falling of a tear, the upward glancing of an eye, when none but God is near.

There were many times I couldn't pray. I was weary, emotionally raw and too much in pain from my csection to think straight. I felt buoyed up by the prayers of friends and family, but at some deep level I wondered what those prayers meant.

There were prayers for Madalyn's healing. What if she didn't survive?

There were prayers for my strength. Why did I feel as if I couldn't get out of bed?

There were prayers for each milestone to be met. What if she didn't meet any?

I was painfully aware of the fact that I would not allow myself to think beyond each day. I didn't want to look forward to birthday parties that would never happen, hugs I might not receive, pony tails I wouldn't be able to put in her hair, if...if...

I found myself asking my mom this question as she cared for me,

"What if she doesn't make it through unscathed; will you love her just as much?"

I was so in love with this little skin-and-bones miracle and I was petrified that others wouldn't see her as I did, or even worse, that if something were to happen, even I wouldn't love her as I should. Only when I finally heard God amidst my fear did I relax into mothering this child:

As I love you with your weaknesses and shortcomings, so will you love her, no matter what.
When we try to express communion with God in words, our minds quickly come up short. But, in the depths of our being, through the Holy Spirit, Christ is praying far more than we imagine.

Brother Roger of Taize

That was the moment I learned the true value of prayer. I didn't need a "yes" to my requests, I simply needed to know they were heard. I didn't need Madalyn to be perfect, I simply needed to know that God was in her imperfections. I didn't didn't even need her to survive to understand that prayer was about me and God and how I let Him be my peace. The lessons I learned amidst the machines as I sat near my tiny daughter forever changed my view of God, prayer and unconditional love.

As I look at my petite 4-year-old, I remember all that I felt. She did come through unscathed, nothing short of a miracle, but what I see now is that the real miracle was within me- my acceptance, my letting go, my peace. She is who God made her to be, and part of her purpose here was to teach her mom the most precious of lessons.


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Pulling Weeds in Jesus' Name

Signs of spring are exploding in my part of the world right now. Out in my garden, the crocuses are spent, the daffodils have been up for a while, the quince bushes are thickly covered in orange, and new plants are poking up through the soil all around my house. Along with the weeds. Many weeds. Yes, it's spring now. And I have a lot of yard work to do.

Around my neighborhood, I see everyone's landscaping responding in like manner to these warmer days. My neighbors themselves are no exception as spring calls them outdoors. Short-sleeved kids are out on their bikes. Convertible tops are down as folks drive by. Lawn mowers are cranking up, droning along our street and in the distance.

Probably the most obvious sign of spring around my hacienda, however, is the noticeable increase in the numbers of walkers. It's time to get in shape, after all. Time to shed an extra dress size and tighten the belt a notch, I suppose. Swim suit season surely doth approach and nobody wants to get caught hanging on to that extra layer of winter hugging their midsection.

So, they power walk by my house alone or with their dogs, pushing strollers or followed by kids on bikes, with a spouse or a friend. If I'm out, they wave. And I wave back. As I pull weeds.

I recently heard about a group of silver-haired ladies who were on a mission to walk the neighborhoods of their whole city - one of the least churched cities in America, my sister's city, so I'm working from second-hand experience here. This army of grandma warriors walk different streets in their city each day armed with helmets, shields and swords of the spirit, praying for each house as they pass by. They pray, without knowing who lives in each home, for the residents therein; praying that if they do not know Jesus, they would be led straight to Him. Somehow. In a city with more dogs than Christians.

I don't know about y'all, but it's been my experience that hell itself is no match for a spirit-filled grandma! And to have a group of them decked out in the full armor of God, Ephesians 6 style, is a force to be reckoned with indeed. Unbelievers, beware!

On this side of heaven I may never know the full results of this ambulatory prayer team. But I do know there has been a rapid growth in the number of people attending evangelical Bible-believing churches in that city. One such church just opened a few weeks ago and had almost 700 people attend services there two Sundays past. After a few weeks. That's just......crazy! The church still has no offices, no child care, no Sunday Schools or youth programs, no permanent staff to speak of, other than the pastor. The building isn't even finished yet and they're already having to move to two services! Obviously, something is going on there. And that's just one church! There are others popping up with similar stories in that city. And people are meeting Jesus. Maybe some-(silver-haired)-body's prayers are being answered? Maybe?

When I think about what I want for myself - me, personally - my ultimate goal is to live my life according to God's will and get out alive. I want to get to heaven. And take as many people with me as I can. That pretty much sums it up.

When I think about my logistical neighbors and who they are - the power-walkers, the lawn rangers, the dirt diggers, their kids - I wonder if I truly want the same for them - if I truly take Christ's words to heart: "Love you neighbor as yourself." Do I want the same thing for them that I want for myself: heaven? Do I throw on my armor and attack my neighborhood in Jesus' name through prayer? Do I have a heart to see the unchurched, the lost in my community know my friend and savior, Jesus Christ?

I won't be power walking this spring, but maybe I can start by praying for those who walk or drive by my home as I take a stand against the devil's schemes with my fingers stuck in God's dirt, the belt of truth around my midsection, the breastplate of righteousness covering my grimy t-shirt, the gospel of peace over my beat-up gardening shoes, the helmet of salvation atop my ragged straw hat, the shield of faith and sword of the spirit in my gardening-gloved grasp.

While I pull weeds in Jesus' name.

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Wednesday, March 7, 2007
 
"Punk'd: Preacher's Wife Edition"

Disclaimer: We do not watch MTV or the practical joke program, “Punk’d”, that airs on the network. However, I believe since I have a house full of children who are told about these shows by others, I should be responsibly relevant in knowing “what’s out there”. Besides that, the title just sounded way cuter than, “One Of Our Deacons Played The Cruelest Joke EVER On My Family Sunday Night And I Fell For It Hook, Line, and Sinker.”

Just a couple of weeks ago, our church watched the film “Facing the Giants” during our Sunday evening service. If you have seen the movie, you know that the coach of the football team drives a wreck of a car that is constantly in need of repair. In the latter part of the film as God is beginning to perform wonders in the man’s life, someone takes the coach’s old car and replaces it with a new shiny red Ford F150 truck.

Many parallels were drawn between this man and my husband, Luke, over their vehicles. Luke drives a Chevrolet truck the color of a robin’s egg that has had the misfortune of nesting beside a nuclear plant. It is a radiating blue that commands the attention of anyone who happens to be within a fairly wide radius. We have lovingly nicknamed it, “The Blue Goose.” Luke joked with the congregation after the film that no one had better come and get “Goose” and replace it with a new truck because he would be "oh so upset” to lose it. There were many a hearty laugh and everyone parted ways.

One of our deacons is a car salesman. Last Sunday night after the service, he called the attention of the congregation and told them how much he loved his pastor. He then, with much ceremony, produced a bill of sale stating Luke was the proud owner of a new Ford F150 truck. I could hear the gasps of people around me, applause began to erupt, and I burst into a thousand tears. The racing thoughts of my mind were something like, “I can not believe this. Oh Lord, thank you. No one deserves this like my Luke! *snot wipe* I should email the church who made this film and tell them how it inspired someone to do such a wonderful thing for my darling husband.” And please make sure you realize that all eyes were on me because everyone wants to see how you 'act' when someone blesses you like that. Extreme Home Makeover had nothing on this bawling, squawling wreck.

Then, this stinker of a man brought out a TOY truck - a shiny new ’07 Ford F150. Oh no, I’m not kidding. He laughed and laughed because everyone in the church fell for it. Luke promised he thought it was a joke the whole time but I was totally Punk’d. It was an evil little prank and I told that deacon so! (With the sweetest of hugs and a smile on my face I might add. We preacher’s wives must always remain gracious. Grrrrr.)

Would you like to know what I prayed after that little shenanigan? “God, I totally looked like an idiot in there. The only way I can recover is if you give me a little application here.” He did. Here it goes.

“But as God is faithful, our word to you is not yes and no. For the Son of God, Christ Jesus, who was preached among you by us was not yes and no, but is yes in Him. For as many as are the promises of God, in Him they are yes; therefore also through Him is our Amen to the glory of God through us. Now He who establishes us with you in Christ and anointed us is God, who also sealed us and gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.”
2 Corinthians 1:18-22 NASB

The opponents of the apostle Paul were constantly trying to discredit him among Christians. “This man will make a fool of you! Look at him, he says he is coming to see you but now he isn’t. Can you trust anything he says?” How often do we guard our hearts in relationships, both with Christ and others, because we are afraid of being ‘had’? This attitude results in withdrawal, self-reliance, distrust, and pride. It also makes for a very lonely existence.

Unbelievers will say, “I don’t want to live by a list of do’s and don’ts”. We can be certain God’s ‘yes’ and ‘no’ is never arbitrary. Every single time He allows either answer into our lives it is to direct us ever closer to the promise of full redemption that is always “yes” in Him. Girls, we are safe in the arms of God. There is but one end for which we are sealed and it has no unexpected twist.

In my walk of faith I have learned many things but perhaps one truth increases my faith more than any other: I may become a fool for Christ, but He will never make one of me. (2 Cor. 5:13)

Now, if He can just do something about that deacon :))



UPDATE: For fear I sound bitter, I must clarify I adore this man and know he wouldn't have hurt mine and Luke's feelings for anything in the world...I fully intended for you to laugh with us! :))

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Monday, March 5, 2007
 
Light to the World...

‭"‬You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.‭ ‬No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket.‭ ‬Instead,‭ ‬a lamp is placed on a stand,‭ ‬where it gives light to everyone in the house.‭ ‬In the same way,‭ ‬let your good deeds shine out for all to see,‭ ‬so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.‭" ~ ‬Matthew‭ ‬5:14-16‭ (‬NLT‭)
I grumble every morning when the alarm goes off.‭ ‬It is way too early for me to get going at‭ ‬4:30am‭ (‬maybe I should go to bed early than midnight‭)‬.‭ ‬After my first grumble session,‭ ‬I start praying that God would use me‭ ‬throughout the day to be His light in the darkened world.‭ ‬Praying that He will keep me steadfast to what I believe‭ ‬and know as truth.‭ ‬I thank Him that His mercies are new every day; that He,‭ ‬through His blood, ‬has set me free from the bondage‭ ‬of sin.

Once again,‭ ‬Christianity is attacked by the secular world.‭ ‬Many will buy into the lie that Jesus‭' ‬tomb was found with His bones still in it.‭ ‬It must be truth,‭ ‬since‭ '‬credible‭' ‬people found His tomb--‭'‬credible‭' ‬people made this documentary.‭ ‬Will the audience‭ ‬do some‭ ‬research on their own to see if the documentary is indeed truth‭?‬ Will they find out that this so called‭ '‬Jesus tomb‭' ‬was already discovered in March of‭ ‬1980‭ ‬and the BBC had a documentary about it‭ ‬1996‭? ‬Will the secular world research why millions of people have put their trust in Jesus and His resurrection‭? ‬Maybe,‭ ‬maybe not...

‭"‬Blessed are you when people insult you,‭ ‬persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.‭ ‬Rejoice and be glad,‭ ‬because great is your reward in heaven,‭ ‬for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.‭" ~ ‬Matthew‭ ‬5:11-12‭ (‬NIV‭)
You see,‭ ‬the evil one always tries to discredit what Jesus has done for us.‭ ‬That Christ died for our sins so we can be reconciled to God.‭ ‬This is why it is so important that we are a‭ ‬light in this world.‭ ‬We are the living proof that through Christ's death and resurrection lives can be changed.‭ ‬I know‭ ‬this‭ ‬is true for me.‭ ‬His Spirit has changed my life--from the inside out.‭ ‬He continues to do so every single day...

Lord of Heaven and Earth. I praise Your Holy name. You gave Your life for me. Some say that You never rose; I know that You are alive. Your Holy Spirit lives within me. Although I grumble every single morning, I am thankful that You give me a reason to get up and proclaim Your fame. In the precious name of Jesus ~ Amen...

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Friday, March 2, 2007
 
If Me

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10


One Sunday evening few years ago I was bustling around at church putting away all of my supplies after I had finished directing my weekly children's choir. My sweet husband stopped me in the hall to share some news with me. Moments earlier he had been approached by our children's pastor and one of our elders who had asked him to pray about heading up our church's Awana ministry. The current coordinator was moving into another position of service in the church, so they had been praying that God would lead them to the right person to take his place in Awana. They felt that that person was my husband. Our club has an attendance of around 450 kids weekly and involves around 140 volunteers, so this is no small responsibility! I can still remember his stunned expression as he recounted the conversation he had just had with the two men.

This would have been the time for me to say something wise. This would've been the time for me to clasp his hands in mine and suggest that we immediately go to the Lord in prayer. This would've been a great time for me to say something that reflected the genuine confidence I have in him as a leader and a man of God. This would've been the time for me to say anything… except what I actually said:

"Why you???"

Yes, it came out in the same lovely tone you might have imagined as you read it. Nice, huh?

You see, I was projecting my own insecurities onto him. I was overwhelmed on his behalf, thinking of others who had been involved in this ministry for two and three times as many years as he had. Wouldn't one of them be a more logical choice? Besides, the previous person who coordinated it (for nine years!) had his wife working alongside him. So, I was overwhelmed on my behalf as well, as this would surely involve me. I was a choir director. I knew nothing about Awana. Surely there was someone else!

I'll never forget his answer. No doubt emboldened by his wife's [cough] unwavering support, he said, "Well, the question at this point is not why me. That was their job, and they've prayed about it. My job is to pray and figure out if me." (I always knew I married "Mr. Right." He usually is.) After much prayer, the question of "If me" was answered with "Yes, us" and we are so blessed to be in our fourth year volunteering in ministry together.

A couple of weeks ago when Darlene emailed asking me if I would like to be a contributor to this blog, a fresh wave of "Why me??" washed all over me. There are many blogs I read each week, containing words so much more well-crafted than mine, with thoughts so much more coherent than mine. But that wasn't the issue. The "why me" was Darlene's (and God's!) job. My job was answering the question of "if me."

Moses, his face still glowing in the light of the burning bush, suffered from a major case of the "why me's." Sign-seeking, fleece-wringing Gideon asked the question, too, in so many words. There are many other Biblical "why me" examples. The fact that it is so common in scripture suggests that God knew we, too, would struggle with our own inadequacy. We are presented with opportunities in which we cannot imagine God using us. Surely there must be someone more qualified! Oh, to be like Mary who bypassed the "Why me?" and went straight to "I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." (Luke 1:38)

I believe that focusing on "Why me?" can start us on one of two paths: fear/insecurity ("I can’t possibly, I don’t have the skills," "Who am I?...I have never been eloquent." Exodus 3:11, 4:10) or pride ("Well, I am pretty good in this area…," "I’m a NATURAL choice for this!" "Of course they asked me!" :::hairtoss:::) The "why me?" paths lead to the same place: self.

The "if me" question puts the focus where it should be: on God. "Will I need to completely depend on God if I do this?" "Will God be glorified by my participation in this activity?" "In what areas will I need to die to self?" "Will this opportunity allow His strength to be made perfect in my weakness?" "Is this in Your timing, Lord?" The "if me" path should lead us straight to our knees.

Are you praying through a "why me" today, perhaps feeling your own inadequacy for a potential involvement or an upcoming task? Don't worry, you're in good company! But let God handle the "why’s." He’s the source of all your gifts, and He knows what He's doing! The question of "why" can be answered with His sufficiency. As for the "ifs", dear sister, they will become clearer as you seek Him to direct your walk, one step at a time, for His glory.

"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
2 Corinthians 9:8


Have a blessed weekend!

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