In her post, Wherein the Post That Was Deleted is Now Restored, Lisa Writes describes an incident where she inadvertently offended someone yet never learned what she’d done to cause the offense and offers us a song of wisdom out of that event.

Anyone who has read She Lives for any amount of time is probably sick of hearing me say it on my blog, but I’ll say it again anyway. (You knew I would, right?)

Offense is probably the single most effective weapon in satan’s arsenal for dividing Christ’s Church.

There! I said it.

The English word ‘offense’ is translated from the Greek word skandalon from which comes the root of the English word scandal. One example of where this word skandalon is used in the Bible is at the beginning of the 17^th chapter of Luke. Jesus words, “…things that cause people to sin…” is translated from the word skandalon. Literally, skandalon means “the part of a trap on which the bait is attached, and hence, the trap or snare itself…” (Strongs Exhaustive Concordance)

What Christ says about offense here is, “Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come.” Woe! I don’t want no woe, do you? But offense is bound to come and woe to all those offense-type folks! The New King James Translation puts it like this, “It is impossible that no offense should come.” In this fallen world, there are times when we are going to offend people. And there are times when we are going to be offended. Offense happens in two ways; we can give offense or we can take it. Either way, offense becomes a trap!

Christ goes on to say, “It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.” The “little ones” described here comes from the Greek word mikros, meaning “…of persons with regard to station or age…” (ibid) So, He could have been talking about children, but in the context these verses fall in, it stands to reason He’s talking about station – the spiritually young. In some ways, that could mean anybody. Each of us is spiritually young in some area. My biggest area of spiritual immaturity comes in the area of mercy. That area of my life in Christ needs to grow! Maybe someone else is spiritually young in their inability to avoid being offended?

The sins caused by offense? How about unforgiveness, resentment, gossip, manipulation, malice, slander, divisiveness, betrayal, hard-heartedness, coloring the facts, ….Oh! And according to the greatest two commandments, failure to love a neighbor as oneself. That’s serious stuff to be causing by either offending or becoming offended, I’d say. Some serious stumbling blocks, indeed!

Paul does a little re-cap of this thinking in his letter to the Roman church: “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.” Romans 14:13

Jesus then cautions His audience – His disciples – to “Watch yourselves.” Why the warning? Because they would be His emissaries, the preachers and teachers appointed to continue His kingdom agenda after His resurrection and ascension. Once He fulfilled his purpose for entering human history as a man, they were supposed to be the spiritually mature ones.

I love how He did not say, “Watch them.” Watch out for them, watch to catch them doing something wrong, watch that they don't mess you over, hold them under a microscope…. No. He said, “Watch yourselves.” It’s mirror time!

I love how Jesus issues that very convicting warning, then follows up with instruction. He doesn’t just tell the disciples what not to do, He also tells them what they are to do: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him.”

The word for rebuke used here is epitimao. (Hang with me on the Greek stuff, okay?) Its meaning is different than another New Testament word for rebuke, elegcho, which has a much harsher meaning. Epitimao does not involve convicting a person, but rather confronting them. If they repent seven times….

Wait! Seven times in one day? Doesn’t seem like true repentance, does it? I guess He didn’t say for us to judge whether it’s true repentance or not though, did He?

Forgiveness is a huge issue. Much bigger than this post will allow. But I have one question: Are we to undermine Christ’s work on the cross by clinging to our offenses and refusing to forgive when Christ’s death was sufficient to pay the price?

Today is Good Friday, commemorating Christ’s death. Let’s think about that a little. Was His death enough to pay for whatever it is that offended us? Is it paid in full? Or do we need to do something else? Like hold a grudge? Like tell others about how wronged we were? Or how bad someone else is? What, exactly, is there left to do? (Okay. So, that was more than one question.)

The disciples’ response to Christ’s instruction is probably the most convicting thing about this entire passage for me. They didn’t go on about how all the Pharisees were persecuting them or about how insulting people were in some places where they’d served in ministry with Christ. They didn’t point out how the Roman government was oppressing God’s people or how wicked their world had become. They didn’t blame each other. They didn't dis' their church. They didn’t look for ways to twist scripture around to make themselves look good and make other folks look bad.

Their simple response: “Increase our faith!”

• It takes a lot of faith to forgive those who have offended us.
• It takes a lot of faith to humbly approach someone and apologize for any offense we may have caused them, whether we agree with their take on the situation or not.
• It takes a lot of faith to bend our knees and ask the Holy Spirit to give us a heart of love for our fellow Christians rather than a heart of judgment and condemnation.
• It takes a lot of faith to know the words “Father forgive them,” applies to each one of us.
• It takes a lot of faith to really, truly believe His death was sufficient.

Maybe that’s a lot more faith than we can ever have apart from Christ. He’s the master musician playing the perfect chords in all the right places. Especially when it comes to grace and forgiveness. Listen to the chord He strikes:

“Watch yourselves.”

Labels: Carol's Articles, Faith, Forgiveness, Grace, Love, Sin

Post URL

 

 
No greater love...

I stood at the kitchen sink moving one dish at a time from the soapy dishwater to the running water to the towel on my counter. Tears began to fill my eyes as I peered out the back door at my two young daughters (I only had two children at the time) playing on the Little Tike toys in our backyard. “Guilty!” cried the thoughts that ran through my head. Like the woman in John chapter 8, I sensed an overwhelming amount of worthlessness and shame as I began to take up stones in my own mind of what I knew I deserved. The harsh words that I had spoken to my husband that morning only forced the tears to stream heavily down my face.

As I stood there broken and empty wishing someone would throw a blanket or cloak over my body to hide my shame, I thought of how she too must have wished, “if only I could run and hide”. I was not standing before a crowd, but my own heart was condemning me and screaming the word, “Guilty!” A sharp stab of pain cut to the core of who I was and I could no longer see the dishes before me through the layers of tears that filled my eyes.

My legs became weak and I soon found myself on the floor of my living room weeping. I no longer wanted to live with the regret of unfulfilled expectations I had placed on myself. I no longer wanted to walk around with the anger I had towards past mistakes and choices I had made. I no longer wanted to throw the heap of stones I carried against myself at the one person God had brought into my life to love and cherish.

My thoughts quietly went to the woman heaped over on the ground as the crowd accused her and pointed out to everyone her guilt. What was she thinking as Jesus spoke to the crowd with a voice sure and steady? He drew a line in the dirt for her. My thoughts quickly went to, “He died on a cross for me”. Jesus spoke the words, “…Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." There was silence. A long silence. Now their heads were bowed. Thud. A hard rock hits the ground. Thud. Another, then another. Again, I turned my thoughts to, “He died a painful death for me, washing every difficult place, every decision I had made, all of my sorrows and pain completely away with his own blood”. One by one her accusers walked away. "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2

She was left alone with Jesus. I stood to my feet as the afternoon sun peered through the windows of my living room. I heard the same words Jesus spoke to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more." (John 8:10-11)

It no longer mattered how I got to this place. The truth was I was there and my sin and shame no different than the woman dragged from her bedroom. But just as the woman, I was to walk in obedience and “sin no more”. It began with asking my husband to forgive me (which at this point I need to chuckle as I think of all the times over the past almost 21 years I have said those five words, “will you please forgive me”). The next thing was I knew that it would only be through the washing by the word of God daily that my life and thoughts would continue to be transformed through the power of the Holy Spirit. I also held on to the promise that "as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12

There is no greater love than what He demonstrated on the cross, “that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

In Him...Chris

Labels: Chris's Articles, Forgiveness, Shame

Leave a comment... 14 Comments
Links to this post

Post URL

 

Friday, March 9, 2007
 
Lather, Rinse, Repeat

“Are you ready to wash?”

Eliana giggles and eagerly begins handing me bath toys, her pudgy little fingers grasping the foam letters and passing them to me as I reach up and deposit them in a mesh bag. When I reach over to the pump that holds her baby wash, she giggles again and holds her arms close to her body, her hands beneath her chin. While I lather my hands together, she watches intently, and when I reach out for her, she is ready.

She offers her arm to me freely, curiously eyeing the bubbles as they drip into the water, her delighted eyes gazing into mine; so trusting, so innocent. She is not ashamed to be naked, nor is she embarrassed at her “filth”. All she knows is that it is time to be clean.

When I lay her on her back to rinse her hair in the water, she responds to my quiet, “Be still,” and relaxes her body into the warm soapy water. And when I wrap her in her fluffy towel, we linger and watch the water as it circles the drain, and finally washes away. “Bye-bye!” I whisper, eliciting yet another delighted giggle from my baby.

"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love.

The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, 'Lord, are you going to wash my feet?'

Jesus replied, 'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.'
'No,' said Peter, 'you shall never wash my feet.'
Jesus answered, 'Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.'
'Then, Lord,' Simon Peter replied, 'not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!'" (John 13:1-17)

To receive the full extent of His love, we must allow Him to wash us.

But.

I approach the basin timidly, covering myself in shame. I pull out of His grasp, resisting mentally, emotionally, and physically. I feel guilt and humiliation at the extent of my filth, and I’m even unsure that this washing will truly bring about the change He desires. I do not offer my arms freely. I disregard His gentle words, “Be still,” and continue to slip out of His grasp.

And the worst part? I’ll be back here again tomorrow, Lord, and I just can’t stand that. What is the point, if I’m only going to roll in my sin again?

Lather, rinse, repeat. Again and again and again. This is the part that holds me back from being cleansed – the fact that it is repeated daily. The defeat I feel when I’m back in that place again, kneeling next to the basin, eyeing the water and the towel that wait to wash me anew. Knowing it is a never ending, heartbreaking process.

But when I washed my baby girl, I did not think of the dirt she would accumulate the next day. I was concerned only with the task at hand. Clean the filth of this day, and this day only, from my beloved.

And so it is with our Father as well. Beloved, let me wash the sin of this day away. No, don’t remind me of yesterday. I don’t want to talk about tomorrow. Be still, and I will make this day new.

Later, as I dressed Eliana in her soft, fuzzy pajamas, I thought upon this passage –

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:11-14)

It is not my job to keep track of my transgressions, not when they’ve been washed away, albeit daily, by the Man with the basin and the towel. He knows how I am formed, that I am merely dust, and dust needs washing. I needn’t be a squirming, squalling baby while He is in the process of washing away the grime of my sin.

And so I offer up my sin-laden body to Him. I look into His eyes, allowing delight to race over my countenance as He washes me clean. I shall trust in my heart that He will never remind me of my filth, nor will He dredge up the sin that He has removed and thrown away from me as far as the east is from the west.

I want to stand in the shelter of His arms, wrapped in His love, and watch my filth circling the drain, then washing away.

And...

...repeat.

Labels: Elise's Articles, Forgiveness

Leave a comment... 22 Comments
Links to this post

Post URL

 

Saturday, March 3, 2007
 
Inspired by the Father…

We’ve lived in our house for two years now and the feeling of “new” has slipped from my grasp--slowly but surely over time. The smell of new carpet and drywall compound used to greet me when I walked through the door, but that left some time ago along with the smell of fresh paint.

Picking up after four children has caused me to wonder how my grandma ever survived being the mother of eighteen children, and how my mom ever managed her six. It seems that I just get the house cleaned, finish mopping the floor, and “swoosh” a jug of Kool-Aid comes racing across the room like a tidal wave washing away a small village.

My husband suggested a maid service--bless his heart. He said that I could use some help around the house and suggested I give them a try. Some call it “maid service,” but I call them feather dusters, because as I see it, if the feather dusters come through the house on a Friday, I need to have the house cleaned on Thursday night before they get there or they won’t even find the house for the laundry.

“Why don’t you get Dad?” my mom suggested. “He’s a good cleaner.”

I hadn’t considered my Dad. In fact he’s probably the last person I’d consider to clean my house, but the truth is, he’s also the best. So after further consideration and a phone call, Dad showed up at 9 am with mop in hand, determined to get the house clean.

My Dad has never been one to shy away from dirt; in fact when Dad walks into a room, the dirt cowers, because it knows the furniture is getting pulled away from the walls, and that no pillow will be left unturned.

At 9:15, the fridge and stove both rolled into the center of the kitchen while Dad shoveled Thanksgiving Dinner 2005 off the floor. I made my way to the kid’s bathroom with determination in one hand and Vim in the other.

Unfortunately since we returned from vacation any level of determination I’ve used has not been sufficient to whiten our toilet. It’s a story I shouldn’t get into detail about, so I’ll just warn the obvious: ensure that all toilets are flushed before going away for any period of time, especially if the little one has a tummy ache that morning.

After scrubbing for a good ten minutes, I went back to the kitchen announcing to Dad that I was going to have to buy a new toilet. “The finish must be ruined on this one,” I said. “No matter how much I scrub it or soak it, it just won’t come clean.”

Dad went straight to the washroom, looked down at the mess and without hesitation said, “Ok, get me a cup, I’ll clean it.”

A cup? I wondered, How is he going to clean it with a cup?

He bailed the water out of the toilet till all that was left was a dirty porcelain dish; then he proceeded to clean it with an SOS pad—clever.

As I walked back to the kitchen to mop up the floor, I smiled in awe of the servanthood of my father. The tagline I use at my website is “Inspired by the Father every step of the way…” because the life of my earthly father has been instrumental in showing me the kindness of my Heavenly Father, and through it I’m inspired to press on.

There was a time in my life that I don’t talk about too often because of the shame. I was married young and divorced. Sure I had reason to leave because of physical and mental abuse, but the guilt and shame of remarriage stayed strong in my life for ten years. I lost five babies to miscarriage and blamed myself, saying that God was punishing me for my sins. Divorce wasn’t something I did. It was something, and always will be something I am.

Like my house, that feeling of “new” had slipped from my grasp--slowly but surely over time. The look of innocence used to greet me when I looked in the mirror, but someone I didn’t want to face had replaced her somehow.

I met a few feather dusters throughout the years who made me feel good for a day or a week with empty words and flattering lips, but they never could remove the shame of sin that had become a solid wall between God and I.

I couldn’t accept forgiveness because I couldn’t turn back that which was done. So I lived in darkness and unforgiveness for ten years until I finally repented and accepted that Jesus took the punishment for that sin.

Through my experience, I learned one thing. There’s no sin that the Father isn’t able to clean, no matter how dirty or disgusting it might seem. He may be the last person that you want to let in, but to tell you the truth--He’s the best.

Sin cowers when God steps into your life because it knows that there won’t be a stone left unturned that God isn’t going to clean. He doesn’t shy away from sin and He doesn’t shy away from us.

The difference with me today is that I do my best to follow what I know to be right and wrong, because I choose to follow His will for my life. God will clean up our sin, but it’s up to us to respect Him enough to keep it that way.

So there you have it, the “dinner 2005” that’s been hiding behind my stove. With determination in one hand and understanding in the other, I’m finding paths I would otherwise never have found through joy and forgiveness and grace. Just a girl on a journey--inspired by the Father every step of the way…

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

Labels: Darlene's Articles, Forgiveness, Grace

Leave a comment... 21 Comments
Links to this post

Post URL

 

 

__________________________________________

The contents of this website are the copyright of either the individual authors or Christian Women Online Magazine and can not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author.

Christian Women Online is produced by
Spilt Milk Publishing, Words that Nourish the Soul
a division of Art Bookbindery
________________________________________________