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Saturday, August 4, 2007
I am a first born. I had an approval addiction. In an attempt to always earn gratitude, attention, and worth, I became an overachiever. I made A’s. I cleaned my room. I took care of my siblings. I took on my mother’s problems. I helped my sister pay for her wedding. I took in my brother at age 14. I worked 40+ hour weeks on top of being a mother. I tried to do everything. By the time I was an adult I was burnt out and bitter. I had so much resentment towards those who didn’t give me their approval. It became so bad that I was angry at myself for not achieving certain things. But God revealed something to me one day. I was in bondage. Approval had become a false god in my life. He revealed to me that my expectations of myself were causing others to expect the same of me. When I couldn’t deliver I began to have the same expectations of others to soothe my pain. After all, if they couldn’t do it then they shouldn’t expect me to. This was a vicious cycle. Besides, if my mother wasn’t capable of raising her son then how could she expect me to be a perfect mother to him? I was only 24. What did I know about raising a teenager? That is what I thought. However, I still felt it was my responsibility to be the mother he never had. I felt like I had to save him. I began to fervently seek God and pray for the bondage to be broken. At a woman’s conference I prayed as loud as I could for the generational curses to be stopped at my generation. I got on my face and begged God to take this away from me. Then, one night, He said, “I already did.” When? I still feel the same! Why do I still feel like I am shackled? I could not lift my arms in praise since they were bound to my ankles. I could not sing songs of worship because the posture I had to take constricted my voice. I was not free. Why? I began to feel the words that were coming forth in worship:
Tears began to stream down my face. I felt God holding me. He was speaking to me through this song…
I heard Him say “let go.” “Let go of what?” I asked. “Control” He said.
“But how do I let go?” I asked Him. God said to me, “Look down” When I looked down at the chains that bound me…  …they were already broken. All I had to do was take them off. They had been broken the whole time. I had prevented my own freedom. With my eyes closed and tears pouring from my eyes, I went through the motions of removing the chains from my wrists. I didn’t care who saw or what they thought. I just did it. I raised my hands higher than I ever had before. I began to jump up and down, smile, and sing louder than I ever had before.
I had to give up control of my emotions and mindset to God. I accepted my freedom from this bondage. I sometimes still fall back into this old mindset. It is during these times that God reminds me to remove the shackles and to stop holding on to things that I think I have control over. "I will walk at liberty and at ease, for I have sought and inquired for [and desperately required] Your Truth and Your Wisdom." - Psalm 119:45 "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed." - Luke 4:18
Labels: Amy's Articles, Freedom Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post  I approach this holiday with mixed feelings. Two years ago today I was here in Minnesota enjoying my in-laws cabin and celebrating my sister in law's return from Iraq. She was here to rest, relax and visit family. That particular 4th of July parade was special having her by my side. I could not imagine her ever having to go back, I cried when I knew the moment she touched down on U.S. soil once again. Well today finds me missing her terribly as she is back in Iraq for her second tour of duty, a time all of us wished would not come. Don't get me wrong she does her job willing, and she loves defending her country (would not want to be anywhere else). But I selfishly wish she was back here with me again...safe and sound. So for all the families who have love one's that are not here this holiday, I stand with you with mixed feelings of missing them terribly. For all who have served, I give you my highest respect and honor. My sons will be told of your heroics and your faithfulness. Your service will never be forgotten in this family. And for many who have given all, I have no words except to say you will be remembered, honored and respected. Thank you for your service, you paid with your life along with some of the greatest people who have made our land what it is today...FREE. May we never take our freedom for granted. Just read about the Israelites and how they bounced back and fourth between freedom and slavery. May we be a nation who remembers who is in charge, and who our True Protector is. Happy 4th of July, thank you for all of you who have served our country.  You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath
Labels: Freedom, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post “Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.” ~ Hebrews 10:19-22 (ESV)Over the last couple of days I was reading through Hebrews. As I was reading the passages of our High Priest, I was reminded of a story from my childhood—a true story. Many of you know that I grew up in Germany—a divided Germany. In 1975 our class took a trip to Berlin. As we visited all the touristy places in Western Berlin (the free side), we ended up at the Elbe River. The Elbe River had a dark history. You see, Berlin was divided between England, France, the US and Russia. People living in the English, French and US sections lived as free people. Not so the people in the Russian sector. Many people tried to swim across the Elbe River to reach the free sections of Berlin. The bad  part was that the river was saturated with mines. Many lost their lives trying to reach freedom. I remember standing in front of all the crosses that were erected on the free side in memory of all the lost lives. I was devastated—a little too much for a 14-year-old girl.On our return home, I told my parents how deeply this visit had affected me. Before my dad became a police officer, he served as a border guard between the two Germanys—at one time in Berlin. He told me the story of a young man who tried to cross over to the free sector. The young man got shot right before he reached the free sector—right before the eyes of my dad. You can imagine how this affected my dad. He told me that he sometimes could still see the young man’s face, reaching out for him, reaching for freedom… “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” ~ Romans 8:1-4 (ESV)My sweet sisters, Christ set us free from sin and death. He gave us the freedom we were reaching for—freedom in Him. Freedom is always costly. We are blessed that Christ paid the price for us. Let us share the good news with all the ones who are ready to listen. “Lord of Heaven and Earth. Thank you for shedding Your precious blood in order for us to be free. Help us to never forget how costly this freedom was for You. Open our mouths to reach the ones who have not experienced Your love. In the precious name of Jesus ~ Amen”  You can also find me at my personal blog Sting My Heart Labels: Freedom, Iris's Articles Leave a comment... 16 Comments Links to this post "Yet if you devote your heart to Him, and stretch out your hands to Him, if you put away the sin that is in your hand and allow no evil to dwell in your tent, then you will lift up your face without shame; you will stand firm and without fear. You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by." Job 11:13-16 When I was 7 months pregnant with my daughter, I went on a rafting trip with our church group. It was a relatively calm river with no perceived dangers so I didn't have any hesitation about going. Needless to say, because of my delicate condition, my boat was the place to be for all the other wives who didn't want to be continuously capsized by our horse-playing husbands during the entire 3-hour journey. "Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety. You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid, and many will court your favor." God desires nothing but your good and His glory. Satan is working towards your destruction and his glory. You can float in those waters, or watch them pass by. Which will you choose? Here is a lesson best learned from the creek bank - Get out before it finds you out. 
Labels: Freedom, Lisa's Articles, Sin Leave a comment... 5 Comments Links to this post
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