 |
|---|
|
|---|
______________ ______________
|
Monday, October 1, 2007
The pain: The joy: Where is God in all of this? Do we not accept pain but only joy? But why Lord do you bless a family with a daughter who only lives one week? Why did Amy have to go through so much suffering? Why did this college son decide killing himself was the only answer to life’s problems? Why…. should be a word that is erased from my vocabulary, unfortunately it is not. The Lord led me to read a passage from a John Piper book titled The Pleasures of God. John’s Mom was killed instantly in an accident when John was a young man, it shocked everyone who knew and loved her. Also there were many painful times he shared also, and now the loss of his granddaughter. John said in his book: “As I knelt by my bed and wept….I never doubted that God was sovereign…and that God was good. I do not need to explain everything. That he reigns and that he loves is enough for now.” We don’t have the answers, and no matter how much it hurts we may not understand this side of glory. But to stand on the foundation of God’s sovereignty and the tremendous love He has for each one of us….IS ENOUGH FOR RIGHT NOW. And enough to face this next week, and whatever may come. Labels: Laurel's Articles, life Leave a comment... 9 Comments Links to this post Being a devotional writer guarantees two things in your life, one God is going to mess with you; teach you, stretch you, develop you. Secondly, you will go through things in your life so you can make applications. At least I hope that to be true because the story I tell you today I pray that someone will be blessed because I am still trying to figure things out. First off you have my permission to laugh with or at me, but what may come across as funny was not funny at the time. Fear is not something I really have had to deal with on a daily basis. I know there are some sweet sisters that do deal with phobias, or fear due to failing health of a loved one, etc.. I don’t want to make light of any of that, fear comes in all shapes and sizes. I found in the last few weeks that I had to deal with some fear and God being God had to get my attention in a funny but very real way through two different circumstances. I have to say part of me is embarrassed to share this, but “Lord please let it bless someone else…” I have had opportunities that have been coming my way. These opportunities are God blessing me, I know, but in reality they are having me step out of ALL my comfort zones. I have always known that the Lord wants to work through me in one way or another, but I am going to have to be willing to step in the water first before He takes over. I have to be willing to jump off the cliff so he can help me fly, so to speak. Well some of these “blessings” have caused me great anxiety. Fear of the unknown, fear of making a fool of myself, fear of failing. I am sad to admit a big part of me wanted to walk away from some of the blessings because they seem “too hard” and frankly I was just scared. How sad is that? It was a battle going through my mind constantly, and fear had been affecting my health and basically paralyzing me. To be honest I think it was God bringing to the surface things I have stuffed down. Like I said God being God had to drive the point home. (I can be so thick headed sometimes...ok ALL THE TIME) I was doing laundry about a week ago (do you see that it has take me a WEEK to even breath a word of this), anyways I was doing laundry like I always do. My washer and dyer are located in my garage. As I was picking up some clothes to toss in the washer, there sitting on the washer was a spider of epic portions. I have lived in Arizona and now in Florida, but I have NEVER seen a spider this big outside of a glass. This spider was so big it would not even begin to fit through my vacuum hose if I wanted to suck it up, which we do to all the other little spiders we find along the way. I was paralyzed with fear. I dropped the laundry and walked in my house and locked the doors. Hubby went out later in the evening after he got home and could not find the spider, but there were still clothes in front of the washer piled up so I was sure the spider was still there. That night I had nightmares about the spider. This had truly terrified me!! So what is a girl to do? I head to Target the next day and purchase a Raid Fogger that I set off in my garage to kill anything whatsoever living. You would think that would have given me comfort but it did not. I KNEW I had to do laundry again. So I opened the garage door (mind you this is a day after the spider was found, and AFTER I set the fogger off to kill everything), took a shovel and proceeded very carefully picking up the dirty clothes (with the shovel) because I was so scared the spider was in the clothes and/or under the lip of the washer. I shoved the clothes into the washer, knocked the washer shut and reached over very quickly with the extra hot water setting and washed the clothes. Ran back inside and locked the door. Once the washer was done, I got my tongs I use in the kitchen, laid a shirt over the lip of the washer in case the spider was under the lip of the lid, that way the shirt was blocking it. And I used the tongs to get the wet clothes out and into the dryer. The whole time my eyes were darting everywhere. Yes it is funny, but I had real paralyzing fear. My poor boys have listened to my screeching about doors being opened for the past week for fear the spider will get back in. Somehow I knew the spider was not dead, I just knew it. But VERY S L O W L Y I have been doing my laundry again. I would be lying if I told you I can walk in to my garage today without a little bit of fear right now. Well a few days ago, my oldest son come running in the house and yells for my middle son, “You have to come see something really quick. Come fast!!” I was only paying half attention, but middle son runs out of the house. Then a few minutes later he comes back and says, “Um Mom do you have any bug killer?” I said “why?” And oldest son is yelling, “don’t tell Mom she will freak!” See my kids knew about my fear. It turns out the HUGE spider was now in my front yard (think bigger than your hand, including fingers). I wish I could say I went out there to protect my sons, but I handed them the bug spray and as they said, “they sprayed the daylights out of the spider.” And hit the spider with the hose, etc… God was trying to get through to me about fear. Do you want to know what I came across in my devotional? Sometimes when you want comfort and understanding, you get a quick kick in the butt. The verse said: The sluggard says, "There is a lion outside!" or, "I will be murdered in the streets!" Prov 22:13 God was telling me….. in fact I felt the admonishment of “GET OVER IT” there is fear whether it is in circumstances or in bugs!!! I don’t feel God was calling me a sluggard, but he was telling me to let go of my (fear, excuses, lack of faith) so he could move in my life. This has been a difficult two weeks, and the “getting over it” is a process that I am, with his strength, overcoming albeit slowly. God said, “Girl I want to use you, but we need to get over the hurdle of paralyzing fear.” I love how God drives homes points in my life sometimes. How thick headed of me that it had to take a spider of epic portions to do it. Do I know where the spider is now? I think it is dead due to the destruction of three ambitious boys that love to protect their Momma. What about the blessings that are causing me fear? They are still there but because of the spider incident I know I can move forward knowing God is with me always….even in the laundry room. Do you have a fear that is in the way of being all God wants you to be? Hit it head on girl, the Lord is going to walk you through it. Notice I did not say deliever you from it, but walk you THROUGH IT. PS- I know you will all be happy to know I did do many loads of laundry this weekend, and yes I was very proud of myself. I know it just would not fly with hubby if I said, "but honey I have a phobia of doing laundry..." Like I said, yes this is a funny story but it has formed one big lesson on my heart. And I had to chuckle because after I wrote this devotional the song, "Dive" from Stephen Curtis Chapman was blaring.... My heart is racing and my knees are weak, As I walk to the edge, I know there is no turning back, Once my feet have left the ledge, And in the rush I hear a voice That's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith, So here I go...... Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 9 Comments Links to this post “Laurel close those blinds, we are like fish living in a fish bowl with the blinds wide open,” my Mom would always say. So I would pretend I was a fish and swim over to close the blinds. As a little girl I would lie in bed and look out my window staring at the moon dreaming that my future prince charming was looking at the same moon. I would dream about what he was doing, or where he was living. Also I would dream of my wedding day, what I would wear and who would be there. My imagination carried me many places while growing up. As I grew and I studied the bible more and more my imagination traveled back through the bible studies. What did the wine that was just water moments ago taste like? Did the wedding attendants realize how special that drink was? Or were they oblivious to the miracle that was just performed? What did it look like when Christ was feeding the 5,000? And did they realize that he was serving with a broken heart because he just lost one of his closest friends, John the Baptist? Was the fish and bread the best they have ever tasted? Imaginations can be used for good or for evil. Because I am a dreamer I can get carried away, when things don’t happen according to MY dreams or MY plans, I find myself crying out to the Lord. Or in my imaginations I can predict how someone or something is going to react and I can have a complete argument or plan of action ready before one word is spoken. Then I am caught off guard or disappointed when things do not go according to my imagined will. “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Cor 10:5 NIV) Satan is sly, he can try to capture your imaginations and use them against the will of God, but we need to measure everything according to the knowledge of God. Battle of the mind is something women especially struggle with, or at least I do. But imaginations can be used for good also. They can allow us to empathize with feelings and thoughts of others. Imagination gives us the heart and desire to reach out to help others. “May my meditations be pleasing to him…” (Psm 104:34 NIV) It also helps to enhance and deepen our prayer life. “…you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my laying down; you are familiar with all my ways..” (Psm 139:2b-3 NIV) Isaiah 66:18 says, “And I, because of their actions and their imaginations, am about to come and gather all nations and tongues, and they will come and see my glory.” (NIV) It is just like God to make one of our greatest weaknesses (our mind) and turn it into a strength. Through our imaginations we will see God’s glory. Satan will try to steer our imaginations away from God, knowing this is an area that will help us draw us closer to God. Eve was led astray by her imagination; she imagined what it would be like to be like God. Therefore, it is important to measure everything up against the knowledge of God. But in return, God will use our imaginations to help us draw closer to him and to display his glory. Why do you think this song is so powerful? Because our imagination is powerful!
 I would love for you to visit me at Book Buzz here on CWO or my personal blog: Laurel Wreath Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 10 Comments Links to this post Zechariah was the father of John the Baptist. He was a Priest and served God blamelessly, and unfortunately Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth did not have any children. They had prayed and prayed a long time for God to bless them with a child. To put into perspective the position of Zechariah, he was the Billy Graham, Beth Moore, or ______ (insert name) of their time. He was a man who followed God as closely as a person on earth could. One day Zechariah was performing his duties as Priest by offering incense in the temple while people were praying on the outside. An angel of the Lord visited Zechariah and said, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth What was his reaction? Was it one of great joy because his prayers were heard and answered? No, it was one of doubt. Zechariah responded by saying, “How can I be sure of this?” (vs18) This may seem like a logical reaction, but Zechariah was in the hollies of hollies, in the presence of God and he questions the words given to him. The angel responded by saying: "I am Gabriel. I stand in the presence of God, and I have been sent to speak My version is Gabriel thinking of all the nerve! And then he politely says, " Zechariah, don't you know who I am? I am Gabriel, one sent by God himself, but yet you doubt! For because of your doubt...be silent!" (these humans can be so impossible!) Ok all joking aside. With Zechariah’s background he knew about angels, he knew in the Old Testament they came and brought good news. God called Zechariah to have faith and trust. Many times we have the knowledge of God’s word but we need to make the journey through faith to trust. Trust says logically you have the knowledge, but faith is putting that trust in action. One is in your head the other in your heart. For example, we share a confidence with a friend, we have the head knowledge that this is a close friend, but once you share your confidence you need to have faith to trust that the confidence will not be shared. I love the story of Zechariah this story gives me hope. If Zechariah can doubt or question then I to have hope that God won’t give up on me. God silenced Zechariah because of his doubt, but through that God was restoring him back to the faith he once had. Circumstances can be God leading us to trust him, but we can only trust through faith. With Zechariah it was in the stillness and silence that God was cultivating and growing his faith. To put this in contrast, soon after this happened there was a little girl who an angel came to visit and told her she would bear a child, and he will be the long awaited coming Messiah. Mary had great faith so she did not question the angel. I am not implying Zechariah did not have great faith, but he did doubt and God restored him. This story is showing that Godly people can struggle with doubt, but God will work to restore those who doubt back to faith. Praise God he does not give up on the ones who love Him. You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles, trust Leave a comment... 14 Comments Links to this post Tabitha, whose name in Greek is Dorcas, was a woman with a servant's heart. She lived in Joppa, which was one of the earliest Christian cities. Dr. Luke in the book of Acts calls her a disciple or a “learner” of Christ. She was known by her good works, she sewed clothing, she helped the widows and the poor. But she also suffered with an illness. Now let me pause here. Here was Tabita a woman known for her good works, and she suffered from an illness. We don't know what illness she had, but it was enough to kill her. If you will allow me to read between the lines-here was a woman who had her own set of problems. I am sure she had some form of pain, but each day with whatever strength she had, she was serving others. I get a sore throat and I am in bed, and wondering why others are not serving me! I am joking, but what is our attitude when we suffer from an affliction? Is it one of pity? Do we sit there wondering “where is everybody?” I know I have been guilty of that attitude in the past. Tabitha did die (Acts 9:37) from her illness. And there was great mourning, many of the widows she helped stood around crying (Acts 9:39). Other disciples heard of her death and sent two men to retrieve Peter. They knew God used Peter to perform miracles, and they could not bear to lose Tabitha. Peter came to see Tabitha, and he sent everyone out of her room. He got down on his knees and said simply, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes and sat up. Through Peter, God used His power to to lead many to Christ (Acts 9:42). This began what is called the Dorcus-Society, a society known for charity work. Now works do not save you, only accepting Christ as your personal Savior is the only way to salvation. But through Tabitha many people benefited from her servant's heart, and God used her in a mighty way to bring glory to Himself. How is God using your life to bring others to salvation? If someone never spoke a word to you, but watched you from afar, would they know there is something different about you? Would they see a servant's heart?
You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post They will begin their conditioning this week. Their body will be stretched, their mind expanded, and they will hurt all over. No one looks forward to the first week of football, not even my sons; they know what will be expected of them and how much effort it will entail. They will burn more energy in those two hours a day, than they have all summer long. During the summer they relaxed and were not as disciplined in exercise, and beginning next week they will pay for it. When they think they can not go any further, when they want nothing else than to sit down and call it quits there is a person on the sidelines, yelling at them.  “Keep going; only just a little bit further; come on I can’t do it for you; this is something you have to do to be successful,” he yells each day. Many times they get mad at the person on the sidelines; they think “who the heck is HE to tell me what to do?” They think that person was placed on this earth just to torture them; at least that is what it feels like at that moment.Then game day arrives, there is much anticipation and excitement. The players walk on the field with butterflies in their stomach, they were forced to eat something that morning because they were to nervous to be hungry. Each player is scared they will forget everything they have been training for; the guys on the other side of the field look so much bigger. What were they thinking to agree to this kind of torture, they stood there thinking? They rehearse in their mind everything the “yelling man” on the sidelines said during practice, wishing they paid more attention.  The first ball is hiked, the first sack is made and then the butterflies seem to be disappearing. The game is happening, good plays are made, then suddenly the ball is coming straight at you, so are all the big opponents. First thought was to panic, then instinct kicked in and without a second thought you catch the ball and run for the touchdown. You stand there amazed you were successful, where did that skill come from? You take the ball, walk over to the “yelling man” and hand him the ball and say, “thank you, I get it now; you were not here to torture me or make me miserable. You saw what I could be, before I ever was. You pushed me further than I thought I could ever go. I am successful because you believed in me.”  Butterflies happen each time, they don’t go away. The opponents always look bigger than they really are. And we will always get mad at the people pushing us to be something we don’t see. In the end it will all make sense, when you are put into battle your training and conditioning will become instinct. Dear Christian, keep the conditioning up; sometimes you will be called to be the player, sometimes you will be the “yelling man.” In the end you will know that it is not by your strength but His that you will win the game. Also, it is you alone that can fulfill YOUR purpose (no one can do it for you), but you need the other players and “yelling men” around you to help you succeed. I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and Lets go girls, there is a game to be won and we need each other!
Labels: Laurel's Articles, life Leave a comment... 15 Comments Links to this post  “If you think you can handle all God has for you to do on your own, then you are thinking to small,” Stormie O'Martin said in her book Prayer That Changes Everything. Father I just don't have what it takes, how many of you have felt the same way. I have dreams that I keep tucked in the corners of my mind, and desires of wanting to be something great for the glory of God. In reality if I am truly honest, many of my thoughts rotate around the concern, I just don't have what it takes.
As Christians we grow weary in the fight, and dare I say we grow weary in always doing good. Many times it feels like an up hill battle. Now mind you I don't have the desire to do something bad, but I know non-believers don't have the constant mind battle of “is this the right thing to do? How would Jesus respond in this situation? Should I do this, should I do that?” As I was having this small pity party this week God brought many reminders to me throughout the week (don't you love that about Him?) Let me share how my week went while I was feeling weak: Tuesday: I was hit with many upsetting things, finances became real tight, unexpected bills arrived and my son who I just paid $400 to fix his broken teeth broke one of the teeth again (did not even last the whole vacation). I was sick to my stomach, I was crying. I was saying, “Father I CAN'T DO THIS.” Then after much whinning, I opened my mail and a sweet friend sent me a wonderful gift of a purse that said, “With God All Things Are Possible” Mark 10:27. I sat there and sobbed and knew God was in control. Wednesday: I was still feeling the drain of various pressures, but I knew God was in control. I listened to a Beth Moore broadcast she is doing on the book of Romans. At the end of the broadcast she challenged us to ask God to rock us, to make this piece of scripture change our life. God once again reminded me that he wants me to think BIG. Thursday: The Lord led me to this article (almost yelling at me, because you know I can be hard of hearing sometimes, GIRL ARE YOU GETTING THIS). Tony Dungy had this to say at a Christian Booksellers Association convention: .....the defining moment of his career, as he writes about in the first chapter of the book, was being fired as head coach in Tampa five years ago....at that moment, he really felt devastated and humiliated and was tempted to quit the business all together....but he described how his relationship with Christ sustained him through one of the toughest seasons of his life....he said Jesus taught him to stay focused, to be patient, to work hard, to be persistent, and to have faith that God loves him and has a wonderful plan for his life....imagine if Tony had quit then....what if he had thrown in the towel and left the game he loved after the setback in Tampa?....he had no idea at the time, of course, that he was just a few years away from being the first African-American head coach in NFL history to win the Championship....but, as Tony said, God knew what was ahead and He wanted Tony to trust Him and follow Him no matter what.....Tony also shared the story of playing on the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1970s...."Mean" Joe Greene once told him that after three tough and disappointing seasons on the Steelers in the early 70s he had almost quit out of exhaustion and frustration....he had come so close to packing it in....imagine if Greene had walked away from the game he loved in 1973?....what a huge mistake that would have been....that very year, 1973, the Steelers drafted rookie wide receiver Lynn Swann....they started winning big, and went on to win the Super Bowl four times that decade (74, 75, 78, 79)....too many people, Tony noted, give up on their dreams too soon, rather than summoning up a quiet strength to keep going, even in the face of disappointment and opposition, and thus they never learn just how much they could really accomplish (read that again if you have to, let it sink in!)....where does that inner strength come from?....for Tony, the answer is clear: through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. (from Joel C. Rosenberg) the bold emphasis mine! Throughout the whole week, whenever I turned to read something or listen to a message Christ was reaffirming, "it is not you, it is not your ability. It is all about ME. Don't give up, don't quit, stay the course." Christ wants me to rely totally on Him. I truly do get that, but being a person who likes to have a little bit of control in things; it is a tough pill to swallow. So what is a girl to do when she is feeling weak and does not think she has what it takes? WORSHIP HIM. When you don't feel like it, PRAISE HIM. When you don't know which way is up, WORSHIP HIM. Strive to know God, don't strive for your purpose. If you feel adequate and ready to fulfill God's calling on your life, then you are not ready. It is when you are broken and convinced that there is nothing God could possibly use, then he says, “Now you are ready Girl, watch me move through you!” We serve an exciting God. His desire is to do things through you that are bigger than you! You won't accomplish your purpose – GOD WILL. “He who calls you is faithful...” (I Thess. 5:24) “Not by might not by power, but by My Spirit (Zechariah 4:6) Turn on that praise music and worship Him this week. PS Sorry for all my bold words and exclamation marks, but that is for me personally, just as much as it hopefully is an encouragement to you. It is hard to talk about Christ without putting tons of exclamation marks after each sentence =)
Labels: Laurel's Articles, life Leave a comment... 12 Comments Links to this post  I approach this holiday with mixed feelings. Two years ago today I was here in Minnesota enjoying my in-laws cabin and celebrating my sister in law's return from Iraq. She was here to rest, relax and visit family. That particular 4th of July parade was special having her by my side. I could not imagine her ever having to go back, I cried when I knew the moment she touched down on U.S. soil once again. Well today finds me missing her terribly as she is back in Iraq for her second tour of duty, a time all of us wished would not come. Don't get me wrong she does her job willing, and she loves defending her country (would not want to be anywhere else). But I selfishly wish she was back here with me again...safe and sound. So for all the families who have love one's that are not here this holiday, I stand with you with mixed feelings of missing them terribly. For all who have served, I give you my highest respect and honor. My sons will be told of your heroics and your faithfulness. Your service will never be forgotten in this family. And for many who have given all, I have no words except to say you will be remembered, honored and respected. Thank you for your service, you paid with your life along with some of the greatest people who have made our land what it is today...FREE. May we never take our freedom for granted. Just read about the Israelites and how they bounced back and fourth between freedom and slavery. May we be a nation who remembers who is in charge, and who our True Protector is. Happy 4th of July, thank you for all of you who have served our country. You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath
Labels: Freedom, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post
In the passage above, Ezekiel is not talking about the idols where people bowed down and worshiped. Here he is telling the Israelites that there are idols in their heart. There are “things” they have given power to. What is idolatry of the heart? How does it begin? First there is a desire. I currently have my house up for sale, so I desire a bigger house for my family. A person could desire a higher position, or the best education for their children, or desire to have their child become a great athlete. These are all desires of our heart, and these desires are not evil. God wants us to have and pursue the desires of our heart. Overtime our open hand of presenting to Christ our desires can become a closed fist of idolatry. Then as a Christian you become someone who says, “Lord send me where you want, lead me wherever…but please don’t touch this.” Many times we can find ourselves doing anything to make our desires come to fruition. If one desires a higher position, then they become a workaholic. If the best schools is your desire as a parent, then you do whatever possible to make that desire come true. Or like me, if you desire a bigger house, you may find yourself placing parameters on how God should bless you. We don’t do this consciously, but I bet we can think of a time we each have fallen into this trap. Suddenly when we have an idol in our life, we are not turning our hearts to an all knowing, all loving God of the universe who blesses us as he sees fit. Instead we are praying to a deity we want to fetch our desires for us. I desire for my sons to grow up in a safe environment, I want them to be successful in whatever they do, I want them to marry a pure, strong Christian woman who has saved herself just for them, and I desire many grandchildren. But if I am not holding these desires of my heart with an open hand up towards the Lord, then they become an idol in my closed fist. Who am I to say how their life should go, the Lord may use suffering in one of my kids lives to bring Glory to Him. I hope not, but I have to keep an open hand to his will. I believe many Christians today don’t move forward in their walk because of idols in their life. They attend church, volunteer during functions, and sing all the hymns out loud, but somewhere deep within they are saying, “Lord I praise your name and I am yours, but please don’t touch this area.” Just don’t. Want to know a biggie in this area? Finances! But that is just one of millions. In the end the Lord turns you over to your idols and says “have at it.” To me there is nothing worse then God turning me over to my sin; I would be begging for punishment, just don’t walk away. So do you have any idols in your life? No one on the outside can see them; he is ready and willing to meet you right where you are if you ask God to reveal any idols. I am not free from this sin; it is a daily battle of putting Christ first. But my prayer is that I may never get confused and think that anything is mine (not even my children). Father I stand with my hand open to your will, if there is any area I keep off limits help me to turn them over to you.
*This message was based on notes I took from a sermon from The Village. Labels: heart matters, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 10 Comments Links to this post How would you like to arrive at the twilight of your lifetime and God says, “you have followed me fully, now I am going to bless you.” I know that is my desire. Today we live in the age of “instant,” instant food, instant communication, even instant gratifications. There was nothing instant in God’s blessings towards people in the bible. The Israelites knew they were promised the Promised Land but there was nothing instant in their possessing it. If there was any man in the bible who deserved instant blessings, it was Caleb. Caleb was a man who stood for courage, truth, and faithfulness. Moses sent out a group (24 men) to spy the Promise Land. Then they returned to report back to Moses: "But Caleb quieted the people before Moses and said, “Let us go up at once and occupy it, for we are well able to overcome it. Then the men who had gone up with him said, “We are not able to go up against the people, for they are stronger than we are.” Numbers 13:30-31Caleb and Joshua were the only people who believed they could take possession of the land, even though everyone KNEW God’s promise to them. When Moses reminded the grumbling Israelites of God’s promise they wanted to kill Caleb "Then all the congregation said to stone them with stones." Numbers 14:10God was so angry at the men who gave Moses a bad report, they were killed. Only Joshua and Caleb remained among the original spies. The circumstances around Caleb looked grim, the majority was against him. If he looked to the people around him he would have failed. Instead Caleb stood for truth; he relied on God’s promises, despite what his physical eyes saw around him. And even though he was blameless Caleb still had to wander in the wilderness for 40 years. He never blamed God, but just waited patiently for God’s promise to enter the Promise Land. "But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it." Numbers 14:24 Caleb’s faithfulness did not go unnoticed. After they arrived and Joshua led them in their battles, the Lord blessed Caleb with Hebron, which became a city of refuge and is the place where the Tomb of the Patriarchs is located. During Caleb’s lifetime, it was a place of rest from any war. You really don’t read that much about Caleb, he is a “background” figure. I want to encourage you, during your daily walk with Christ. If you feel like you are being faithful, and not being noticed. God notices. If you feel like all the hard work you do, sometimes feels like it is for nothing. God notices. If you find yourself discouraged because you are living through a “desert” because of someone else’s sin. God notices. There is nothing instant in God’s blessings, but when God blesses…it is big! Remain faithful and rely on God’s promises despite the circumstances you see around you. I want God to be able to say, she “wholly followed the LORD, the God of Israel." Paul says: ‘Everything that people wrote in the past was to teach us. They wrote those things so that we could have hope. That hope comes from the patience and strength that the Bible gives to us’ (Romans 15:4). You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath Labels: faithfulness, finishing well, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post  In the movie "Patton", ok bear with me girls (I know this is not a girl movie). It shows the general sleeping (Patton) on his bed with a book on his chest - presumably he fell asleep reading the book. The the camera pans on the book, and we see the title as "Tank Warfare by Field Marshal Rommel". (The Field Marshal was the German army commander) The next scene shows the German and the American armies engaged in battle (and please I am using this as an example not to point out people from Germany, one of my dearest friends is from Germany =), and after a few minutes the Germans are retreating. General Patton is observing the scene through his binoculars, and giving some instructions to fine tune the plans set out. As the German Army retreats, General Patton exclaims: "Rommel, I read your book!"Can I just take a moment to yell, "Satan I have read the Lord's book, you don’t win. You may win these little battles, you may trip me up and get me off course, but you don’t win. I know you know this. You use the tool of my mind, trying to plant thoughts and doubts in my head trying to get me to enact my will to do something that is not pleasing to God, but satan I READ THE BOOK!” We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. II Cor 4:8-12 Satan likes to use your affections to lead you astray, what you think about most is where you affections lie. Is it negative self thought; is it fear, worry, or anxiety? We have control over where our affections are directed. If we don’t take control, satan will. How do we surround ourselves? By Christian music, devotionals, reading Christian books, reading the bible. Surround yourself; meditate on Christ, stand close the cross, then your affections will be on Christ when we are attacked. This is what got me through my week; great Christian friends and directing my affections towards Christ while I was hurting.
We will fall, we will stumble, but if we are constantly surrounding ourselves with the affections of Christ. The he will not win. Hey satan….”I READ THE BOOK, YOU DON’T WIN” You can visit me at my personal blog: Laurel Wreath Labels: Laurel's Articles, life Leave a comment... 13 Comments Links to this post
Thursday, May 17, 2007
 This is an easier said then done message, for I wavered in posting it. But just as much as we like to talk about God's goodness, mercy, and grace there are other aspects that we need to take to heart for it is part of the package deal:God is a God of miracles. We come to him with our prayers, as we should. We cry out in our darkness, and pray for light. We seek peace and comfort when things around us seem to be closing in. More times then not, God comes to our rescue. He is always there, he is walking beside each of us through our difficult times and many times he answers our prayers. But what if he doesn't? A mother loses a child, a husband develops an illness, or like some missionaries find themselves in prison. Jesus loved John the Baptist, from their first meeting while John was still in Elizabeth’s stomach he leaped for joy. John devoted his life serving Christ, and preparing a way for Christ’s dissension into this world. There should be NO DOUBT that Jesus loved John. But John found himself in prison; he was in a pit if you will. Do you ever wonder what John’s thoughts were during this time? I am speculating here, but if it were me I would be praying for my release. Praying to God because he is a God of miracles. Time passes, and John is still in prison. Finally John sends a disciple to ask Jesus “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else? (Matthew 11:2-6). Can you hear the depression and deep sighing from John? John is saying, “I’m still here in prison and I know you are a God of miracles, are you really the one who was to come?” Do you see the seeds of doubt in John? My goodness I think I would have acorns of doubt by then. Why is God not coming to rescue me? Want to know Jesus’ response? Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. Matt. 11:4-6 In Jesus’ response, he is telling John that yes he is who he says he is, but there will be no miracle for you. “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” Interpretation, blessed is the one who still believes because of who I am, not because of what I do or don’t do. How do you respond when God does not perform the miracle you are expecting or diligently praying for? Is not God still God even when he does not save us (or a loved one)? Yes we are confused and may not understand why this “thing” is happening to us, but Jesus says “do not fall away on account of me.” God is still God even when he does not act the way we would like him to. Why was my child diagnosed with this disease? Why am I having medical problems? Why did the prayers for my marriage go unanswered? Why did God not respond the way I thought he should? Sweet sister, this is a lesson the Lord just brought before me and it pierced my heart. How does it affect my faith when things don’t go my way, what if this disease ends up killing my family memeber? What if my loved one dies after a long battle? What if that woman who wants to become pregnant is never able to conceive? Oh sister, there is so much pain and sometimes the miracle may pass you by, but that does not change one bit of who God is. God is who he says he is, the end.... period..... no matter what happens. God does want us to come to him, to pray for hurting people, to bring others who are weak before the throne. But realize God is God no matter how he responds. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me. Matt. 11:4-6 Note: the words in this article are all mine (well except the scripture), but the idea came from an article I read by Sue Warburton titled “Where’s My Miracle? The God I wanted wasn't the God I was getting.” I just took the idea of her article and wrote my own words about how it spoke to me. Sue’s article is found in Discipleship Journal. Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles, relationship with God Leave a comment... 18 Comments Links to this post Even in the midst of all the trouble we are now in, even though no one knows which way to turn and which way to go, there still persists the notion that we must get there with ever greater speed. Running here and running there, there are times in my life I feel like all I am doing is going and not accomplishing anything. I guess as I sit here on the verge of my vacation, I am realizing that I am tired of running. This is something many women have difficulty in doing…just stopping to relax to refuel. I know some of you with small children just laughed and spit out your drink, but it is important to unplug even then. I could link to many posts I have read this past month on how people have felt they have lost themselves in life’s everyday tasks. We as women run ourselves out, without refueling. "And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done." ~ Gen 2:2 Do you realize there are over 500 verses that deal with rest? And He said, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." (Exodus 33:14) While Jesus walked the earth, he worked very hard, but he did not forget to rest. Some women feel guilt when they sit; they feel they are being idle and wasting time. I suggest you are refueling. I believe there are many times the Lord allows things to happen, so we are forced to sit and refuel. As I mature, I am learning to realize when I begin to run on empty. It took some rough days in my youth to figure that out. You can not be effective as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter of the King if you are running on empty. So how to you refuel? Only you know what recharges your battery, but for me it can be: 1. Spending a day with a girlfriend. Each one of these refuels me to one degree or another. Find the one thing that refuels you, and make an appointment to recharge. I would suggest to make this at least a once a month activity. Work hard all month, and then take a day off for yourself. You will be amazed at how much more patient you are with others around you, how much more calmly you approach problems that come your way. Don't go full force until you burn out, go...... recharge. Labels: Laurel's Articles, routine, time management Leave a comment... 5 Comments Links to this post But Thou art making me, I thank Thee, sire. What Thou hast done and doest Thou knows't well. And I will help Thee; gently in Thy fire I will lie burning; on Thy potter's wheel I will whirl patient, though my brain should reel. Thy grace shall be enough the grief to quell, And growing strength perfect through weakness dire.-George MacDonald,Diary Of an Old Soul, October 2.. While talking to my Mom the other day I explained to her, as you blog and get to know a wide variety of women your heart becomes more and more tender. Life just is not fair, and you find people who are going through situations that are just plain hard! Part of me wants me to crawl back into my hole and put my rose color glasses back on. Christ said each one of us will go through a season of pruning. God is the Gardner, we are the vine and if we are to bear fruit then we will need to go through some pruning. When a tree is pruned, not only is the bad cut away, but also what appears to be the good. (ie. bad things happening to good people). “This is my Father's glory, that you may bear fruit in plenty and so be my disciples" (John 15:8, NEB). What we need to realize is that we don’t need to understand why; we just need to realize this is part of the process of growing. Secondly, Christ might be refining us through our difficult time. When a potter creates a clay pot, the pot is first shaped, molded, and then made beautiful. Then the last step is a firing process. According to Wikipedia, it states the “firing produces irreversible changes in the body. It is only after firing that the article can be called pottery.” If God stopped at just shaping us (no matter how good we looked), we would bend and break when the slightest trial came our way. It is the firing that makes us strong, it is the firing that makes us useable to God. And while going through the firing, God promises in 2 Corinthians 12:9, "My grace is all you need; power comes to its full strength in weakness" (NEB). And I don’t know about you, but I like the fact God will develop “irreversible changes” in me. This person is taught the power of prayer. James 5:16b – 17 " The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years." There is power in prayer. Secondly, we are taught to be faithful. Romans 12:12 “When you hope be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful.” In Strong’s concordance the word faithful is defined as “to persevere.” We are to persevere for a friend or loved one. We stand strong when they are weak. Labels: Laurel's Articles, Prayer Leave a comment... 15 Comments Links to this post It was almost dinner time; I was in the kitchen with my new baby trying to figure out what to make for dinner. This was a difficult time in life, our family was living in a rental home, and I had three kids under the age of 5. I was battling depression; there was just not much I found funny. I was trying to keep up with two boys running in opposite directions and having a brand new baby. Tired was my middle name at that time. Sometimes when you are not even expecting it God shows up in the smallest way, but in a mighty way. I remember praying to the Lord how I am feeling crushed on all sides, this is not the life I had planned. I wanted the three kids, but I wanted a nice house with a white picket fence. I wanted to have the big smile on my face, lots of girl friends and tons of family all around. This was not where God had me. So as I was planning dinner, I was crying out to God. I was telling him how tired and weary I am, I think I did a lot of whining to him to be honest. I kept asking, how am I going to survive? You know when you have two toddlers in your house and it is quiet, that is not always a good thing. But the Lord used my boys to teach me. I was appreciating the peace and quiet; all messes could be cleaned up later I rationalized. I was standing at the stove beginning to brown my hamburger meat for dinner. Then I hear, “Mom we have something to show you, but don’t look yet.” Any Mother with boys know the phrase “we have something to show you” is like opening up a can of worms (sometimes literally). So I played along, feeling my pity party heart, and taking to God. “Are you ready Mom?” they giggled. My curiosity was beginning to grow, what did they get themselves into I thought. Suddenly before my eyes I had two little toddler boys jump out from behind the wall yelling, “nothing can get us now, we have our shield and protection on.” They each had a superman cape tied around their necks blowing behind them, and all over their body (up the legs, up the arms, all over their chests) were taped maxi pads. “Mom, we can battle anything with our shields,” they said in their loud Superman voice. At first my eyes were as big as saucers, and then I laughed and laughed and cried and laughed some more. They then proceeded to run around the house pretending to fly and dodging all evil and bullets that may come their way. For they were protected. After I called every relative I could think of and share this story, and their Father (oh manly man was so proud). The Holy Spirit hit me with a 2 by 4. And I heard this voice almost as clear as day say, “Do you have your shield on? Are you protected? Where is your amour? Where is your protection?” Therefore, take up the full armor of God that you may be able to resist in the  Belt: To a Roman soldier his belt was an essential part of his armor. His belt gathered his armor together and secured his sword to his side. The belt also served to secure long garments so that they would not interfere with fighting. The belt tied it all together.It is truth which ties together the believer's armor (John 8:32). The Breast Plate of Righteousness: The breastplate protects the vital organs of a Roman soldier. It is righteousness which protects us in those vital areas of our relationship with God. Without it we will be susceptible to every temptation Satan brings along. (Mark 14:38)  Boots of Peace: The Roman soldier's shoe served much the same purpose as a football player's spiked shoe. It was made to help the soldier stand his ground and advance on his enemy. Traction was very important. Most combat was hand-to-hand. A soldier could not afford to be pushed backwards. He could not afford to fall down. It is the gospel of peace which enables us to stand firm. We can stand secure knowing that we have peace. Peace with God as Romans 5:1 talks about, and peace of God that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7). So from that day, while fighting my pity party I began to clothe myself in protection. I strongly believe my “protection” is what helped me through more difficult days to come. And from now on, whenever God reminds me of my sweet boys and their shields, he is reminding me to arm myself for battle. For with my armor, evil and bullets can be deflected. Also, I will be the first to say God has a GREAT sense of humor! Almost 10 years later, I was riding in the car talking to my teenager this week. He was sharing how Satan has been tempting him, and when he wants to do something wrong he almost feels a physical pain in his heart. I shared with him how the Holy Spirit guides us between right and wrong, and sometimes God allows these temptations to exist in our life so we can depend fully on Him. Knowing we can not battle the temptation on our own strength, but ask God for strength. And now I have the honor to share with my son what tools God gave us to fight off all sorts of evil and bullets that come our way. So he can say once again: “Mom I can battle anything with my shield,” in his loud Superman voice. Are you armed for battle? Hard times will come, this does not prevent that. But to have the right armor for battle is everything, it is the difference between winning or losing. So I ask again. Are you armed for battle? Was this what you were thinking of when you read my title.....yeah, I thought so. Have a blessed day, don't forget to laugh. I am sorry to say there were no pictures, this was before the digital camera age....believe me I wish I had a picture. Can you image the bibery I could get out of that now?? =)) Labels: Laurel's Articles, The Word Leave a comment... 25 Comments Links to this post “I'm hooked on a feeling.” just like BJ Thomas sang back in 1969. Our feelings are a very important part of who we are. We make decisions based on how we feel, or change our mind because we “had a bad feeling.” As you read blogs, even this post you are judging what I am saying with your current feelings and life experiences. You are determining how you “feel” about what I am saying. Feelings are a gift from God; they allow us to feel empathy for another person. Feelings cause us to reach out and help, they are the seeds to falling in love, and feelings can be a very powerful force. But feelings should have a proper place in all things. Anyone that knows me personally knows this is a post I am preaching to myself. For some reason when God made me, he gave me an extra dose of “feelings.” My husband is often frustrated that someone else could go through something, but I share the feelings. This is for difficult times, and for times of great rejoicing. I live on a rollercoaster of feelings; I think God uses it in a good way. On the other hand, the Lord has, and continues to work with me, showing me where these strong feelings are good and where they need to be put into perspective. Often times we (women especially) have the tendency to study or read something then weigh what we just read on impressions and feelings, then we turn these impressions into fact.
Many of us are just programmed this way, our society contributes to this way of thinking. You hear terms like, how does it make you feel, follow your heart, if it makes you feel good then it must be right. This would be fine if our feelings were based on fact, but they are not. Our feelings betray us, lead us astray. When it comes to studying God’s word and living a Godly life we need to place our feelings in their proper perspective. We don’t ignore our feelings, they are valid, but they have their proper place (David in the bible is an example of this, he stood on truth but had strong feelings). First we need the foundation of truth, truth is fact, truth is unwavering, unlike our feelings. If you are studying God’s word and reading the bible, your first question should not be, how do I feel about this? You should first ask yourself, do I believe this or not? So how can you develop this in your life? I have learned how to talk to myself instead of listen to myself. When I was listening to myself I found I did not have very nice things to say, I complained, and God felt distant. When I am in the heart of battle and life is coming hard and my emotions are all over the place. I find my rock in unwavering truth. Christ died for me. God promised to never leave nor forsake me. Jesus loves me. I take verses and speak them out loud; I say them over and over. I speak the truth and let myself hear it, in return I feel Christ drawing nearer and it is on solid ground I stand (where there is no sinking sand). Then the feelings will build and strong affection for Christ increases, and then your emotions can carry you away in praising God. Our feelings are important, it is just not where we should begin when following Christ. Update: The above post was written early in the day. I hate to say this but God likes to make me live through object lessons. And he is making me "live" what I just preached. Someone very close to me tonight miscarried (in the process of). This was not a normal miscarry either, this person believe she would never carry child and then found herself pregnant. It was like giving hope to believe, so many years after you released that hope. And if I am very honest, this pain I am FEELING, could lead me down a dark path, one it would take a lot to come back from. Right now I am broken, I am crying out to God, and I am standing at the cross road. One path God is asking me....are you going to let your pain and feelings direct you? The other path God is asking, are you going to walk with me and BELIEVE me despite the strong emotions you are feeling right now. I am sorry to be so raw here, but it was to much of a coincidence that I wrote this right before I got very painful news. I am here to say, despite the deep pain I am feeling right now and the tears streaming down my face I chose to believe God. And I will continue to believe and trust God.
Labels: Faith, Laurel's Articles Leave a comment... 20 Comments Links to this post  The object of the game is to score by maneuvering the ball into the opposing goal; only the goalkeepers may use their hands or arms to propel the ball in general play. The team that scores the most goals by the end of the match wins. While sitting on the sidelines watching my boys run up and down the field, with the sole goal of scoring the most goals, I realized how much the game of soccer is similar to being a Christian (hey I am a Mom of boys this is where I get my spiritual inspirations).When my boys began playing soccer they were in the 4 and 5 age group. Parents would crowd around the outside perimeter cheering their kid on, too excited to sit. You hear things like, “just kick the ball; don’t worry if you are running the wrong way; you are doing a great job; look at my child isn’t she/he the best!” The kids love the attention from the parents and love to have one chance to make contact with the ball. As Christians we are the same when a person is a new Christian, we cheer them on and they hear phrases like, “Jesus loves you; you are doing a great job learning about God; don’t beat yourself up we all make mistakes.” The new Christian walks away encouraged and uplifted. A few years later my sons entered into the 8 & 9 year olds age group in soccer. Here the parents have their lawn chairs; they have been here and done that for the last several years. There is still much cheering, for parents know they are still working on coordination, but by now they should have the rules of the game down. You hear comments like, “Oh I can’t believe he/she just did that! Come on you know better than that; Beat that team!” There is laughing while making these comments, because there is still a good time to be had by all, but the kids know by now they are being laughed at. The same is true of believers towards each other, when they know a person has been a Christians for awhile. Comment like these may be heard: “They should have known better than that; what were they thinking? Don’t worry God will forgive you  once again.” Sometimes an attitude of “Look at me I have all the right tools and I attend church more” is displayed by the one who has not tripped up. The seasoned Christian who did fall does not feel as encouraged or supported, and is left a little bewildered. Where is the support when I stumble and fall?What happens when we see a Christian to whom we have admired and looked up to, fall into sin. We can come back with comments like, “they knew better; what were they thinking? How in the world did they think they could get away with that? I would have never done that! Here I thought of them as a role model, now what!” In reality what these Christians need are the parents of the 4 & 5 year olds cheering them on, encouraging them.  When you see a Christian fall, what is your first reaction? Is it love, or is it a thought of “what were they thinking?” Christ has nothing but love for people who had fallen into sin. In fact, I believe Christ’s heart is tendered towards the one who has fallen into sin. I John 2:1 states, “But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” So as a fellow Christian, if we see another stumble or fall we should be there telling them, not to despair. Jesus is righteous and he makes a case for you in heaven, not on the basis of your perfection (or because you should have known better) but because of his death and resurrection. Despite the fact my oldest son is now in the 12 to 14 age group in soccer, I think I will still cheer him on just like I did when he was 5 years old. Something tells me life is hard enough; having a screaming Mom encouraging him no matter the outcome of the game, will have more of an impact in the long run. Just like encouraging fellow Christians, especially if you see them stumble, will have a bigger impact on their Christian walk.
Labels: Laurel's Articles, relationship with God Leave a comment... 21 Comments Links to this post  Raising children is a challenge in itself. From the moment their first breath is taken, as a mother you are teaching, instructing, and molding them according to God’s will. Some days the communication misses its mark. While driving home after picking my middle son Charles up from school, I was going through our normal routine of asking him how his day was, what homework does he have for the night, and what did he eat for lunch. I am raising boys, so I have to be specific in my questions in order to find out how their day was, and to gather any relevant information. I compare Charles to the “absent minded professor.” He is in the gifted class, he never has to study to receive all his A’s. But remembering his homework has been his biggest challenge. Many times we are faced with him receiving several sign-ins for missing homework. I know he completes his homework, I see Charles working on it at home, but many times it does not make it back into the proper folder. When asking him about his Scoop Newsletter and how many sign-ins he received for the week. With enthusiasm Charles replied, “I received three sign-ins, but they were NOT for missing homework.” He was so proud of himself; he was rationalizing that he accomplished something good. I looked at him with my eyes as big as saucers and said, “so then that means you got three sign-ins for misbehavior!” How often do we justify disobedience with rationalizations to God. We rationalize to God explaining our situation is special. This is where our faith in God comes into play, many times our human eyes can see an easier way out of a situation (can we say Israelites), but our ways are NOT his ways. In Hebrews 11:1, Pauls explains, “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” The novelist Naguib Mahfouz wrote you can tell a wise man by the questions he asks. Rationalizing can seep in even when we are not aware, so we need to ask God to reveal any erosion in our life, and be ready to have ears that hear. Communication is key, and communication is two way. Psalms 119:9 "How can a young man keep his way pure?
Labels: Laurel's Articles, Obedience, The Word Leave a comment... 16 Comments Links to this post  “This is your first child, you have all the time in the world, the Doctor said. “Take some walks around the block, and call me when your water breaks.” Laurel never did things according to schedule from the time she was born, arriving sooner than the Doctor thought! The Lord had big plans for her, and she is always ready for the next step in life. Laurel met her husband in Arizona. He was a military brat going to the University and she was just a “regular brat,” so they connected right away; they married in their senior year of college. Life hit her hard; new baby, her husband's new job, small apartment, very little money to live on. There was no direct family support; while going through days of depression, loneliness, and homesickness. But the Lord was with her through it all. Laurel learned to lean on the Lord in a mighty way. They currently live in Small Town, Florida and recently celebrated 13 years of marriage. Laurel graduated from college with a communication degree; she was also a childcare provider in her home for several years, a pre-school teacher, middle school PTA treasurer, and currently she is an Office Assistant working only when her kids are in school. Laurel has a house full of boys; three to be exact, however, if you add her husband, the cat and the dog, testosterone runs rapid. Being greatly outnumbered; she loves female conversation anywhere she can get it! Laurel will officially have a teenager this year, so life is bringing more adventures and challenges. With a heart for women, she finds it a privilege to remind women today that God is deeply in love with them. No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been God loves you right where you are with His agape love.
Visit her blog at http://www.laurelwreathsreflections.com/ and see her weekly at Laced With Grace Labels: Laurel's Articles, The Blog Team Leave a comment... 3 Comments Links to this post
__________________________________________
|
The Internet Cafe is the team blog for Christian Women Online Magazine, "your daily dose of inspiration." It's a place to kick back, grab a virtual chair at our table, and allow God to fill your cup to running over. It's addictive, but only He can satisfy the craving of your soul.  Copy this code to link your site to The Internet Cafe
 ______________ 
______________
 Christian Women Online Blog Ring Join | List | Random ______________
_________________
|
CWO Cover
Bonnie Hooley
