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Sunday, September 30, 2007
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18-20 (ESV) I am a little sore, scratched up and sun-burned today. My Sweetheart and I cleaned our backyard. What a task it was. During the hot summer months, there is not much we can do in our backyard—it is just way too hot. Normally my hubby does all the yard-work, but I thought it is about time I help him. I thought it would be easy to pick up the dead branches that were left from the last spring cleaning…oh was I wrong. My entire body aches. As I was cleaning with my beloved, I thought about how much God has changed me over the past 25 years—especially the past 2 ½ yeas of our marriage. I realized how much I have been self-centered. It is hard to admit that I have not been always the helper God wanted me to be. The biggest hurdle for me was respecting my husband. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I always loved my husband, but respect is totally different. I used to moan or roll my eyes about certain things. God showed me through His Word that all my actions are disrespecting my husband – ouch. You see, I always wanted to spend all our free-time together, but my husband needed some time to unwind. And when we did things, they were always what I wanted to do. Not thinking that my beloved wanted to do something else. Over the years we have developed some of the same interests, like photography. In other things we are still worlds apart, especially when it comes to movies. I still don’t like horror movies…I used to leave the room with pouting and grumbling under my breath. Today I leave the room with a kiss, tell my Sweetheart that I love him but that I’d rather do something else. Just this little change has brought a little more harmony into our marriage… Lord of Heaven and Earth. Thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for showing me what it means to be a helper to my husband. Lord, continue to guide me in our marriage that I will be wife my husband deserves. In the precious name of Jesus ~ Amen.  You can also find me at my personal blog Sting My Heart Labels: Iris's Articles, Marriage Leave a comment... 8 Comments Links to this post I pray for you everyday, even though I don’t know who you are. I ask God to protect you, to hold you, to love you. I pray that your mom teaches you about God’s Word, how to be a loving mother, and how to cook and clean with ease. I pray that your father is a loving example of how a man should treat you. I pray that you don’t have too many trials in life but that those you do have teach you how precious God’s love for us truly is. I pray for the first time we meet to be a joyous event. I pray that you will accept me as a mother. I will open my arms to you. I begin to wonder what you look like. What color are your eyes? What color is your hair? What color is your skin? Do you smile often? Will you smile at me? I wonder what life has been like for you. Do you live in a Godly home? Do you attend a good school? What are your hobbies? I wonder how old you will be when we meet. Will you have children? Will you have a ministry? Will you like some of the same things that I do? Will God show me right away that you are her? You see, I long to see you, to talk to you, and to learn from you. I think of you daily and I remember you in my prayers. I want to know the woman whose childhood I missed but whose adulthood I will have the pleasure of sharing. I want God to bless you abundantly and show you favor. I want to know your name. Even though I don’t know who you are, God does and I want to give you one of the greatest gifts that I have. A gift that will love you, admire you, protect you, provide for you, and cherish your very being. I want to give a gift that I have treasured for years, a gift that has brought me much love, much joy, and much pride. This gift that I will give you… 
As I embark upon the journey to become a wife to a man that I love and admire so very much, it has caused me to think about the real gift his parents are giving to me. I have so much gratitude for the effort they put into raising this man and they have welcomed me and my children with open arms. I want this same thing for the women my boys will one day marry. I have made it a point to pray for these young girls on a daily basis and will continue to do so. My children are my greatest gift. I will be receiving someone’s greatest gift. Now I can somewhat imagine how God must feel while Jesus awaits His bride. After all, what gives us hope and joy, and what is our proud reward and crown? It is you! Yes, you will bring us much joy as we stand together before our Lord Jesus when he comes back again. For you are our pride and joy. 1Th 2:19-20
Labels: Amy's Articles, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Prayer Leave a comment... 9 Comments Links to this post  On June 15, 1985, I was a college graduate of three weeks and a bride of 24 hours. I remember languishing poolside in Floridian bliss, humming along to the popular song “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” sipping a cold drink and exchanging smiles with my groom. I didn’t want to rule the world exactly, but I did have big plans for my new married life. When I hear the song now, I smile at the irony of the first line: “Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back ….” At 22, what did I know about a commitment to care forever—no turning back? Occasionally, I wish I could return to June 14, 1985, and meet myself as a young bride at the back of the church. I’d whisper candidly to the young me about my expectations vs. the reality of the years ahead. If you had asked me then if I understood the scope and weight of my vows, I would have said yes, but I didn’t really. Being in love didn’t prepare me for those first grocery shopping ventures when I plopped favorites into the cart, and he promptly removed them. I didn’t know that without due warning he would change my radio stations. Who knew we’d spend 22 years disagreeing about how to mow the lawn? And how could I have known that he had a sleeping disorder? Or (and this still puts a chill up my spine) that we would have kids with sleeping disorders? I didn’t understand that he couldn’t be “everything” for me. After all, he was the love of my life, with emphasis on “my.” And that poor groom--he didn’t know the half of his bride’s self-centered capacities. He didn’t know his fun-loving girlfriend would be so uptight about clothes on the floor and dust on ceiling fans. How could an affectionate girlfriend neglect to meet her husband when he walked through the door after work each night? And how did she manage to break so many things weekly? Imagine his confusion about a wife who six months into marriage began daily afternoon naps that merged into nights. Had he married a narcoleptic? No, the power naps were due to the hormonal changes of pregnancy, and he would be a dad in only his second year of marriage. Who knew? God did. He knew we would go through seasons of joy alternated with frustration, depression, family deaths, disappointment in each other and in ourselves. But by the grace of God who remained faithful to us when our commitment has lagged, and through the support of church family and friends, we stand together twenty-two years later. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.” Three strands: God, my husband, and me. At times, the cord frayed but didn’t break, because ultimately, we love God and value who we are as a couple and a family more than we love our individual selves. Not because we’re noble or martyrs but because God’s spirit in us “grew” this counter-human commitment to something bigger than ourselves as individuals. Based on statistics, it’s a safe bet that without positioning our marriage and family on his principles and grace, we wouldn’t be together today. A line in the aforementioned songs says, “There’s a room where the light won’t find you/holding hands while the walls come tumbling down/When they do I’ll be right behind you ….” In the tropical sun of 1985, I wouldn’t have believed that darkness could ever threaten us. But by banding together when it came and walls fell, we defended each other when one was weaker. And when we were both tired, our anchor strand was strong enough to get us through. I am not as naïve about life and expectations anymore. I do know that when my husband is pushed, I’ll be right behind him, supporting him. When walls tumble, I’ll be right beside him holding his hand. And even if I could time travel and enlighten myself about the triumphs and trials to come, I’d trust in the outstretched hand of my groom at the altar, squish my puffy dress through the vestibule, and confidently meet him there—no turning back.  Please visit my personal blog at 2nd Cup of Coffee. Labels: commitment, Love, Marriage Leave a comment... 13 Comments Links to this post Friday afternoon we arrived at the campground. We bailed out of the car and began to unload the gear; sleeping bags, cook stove, food bins, and the most dreaded piece of camping equipment known to marriage, the tent. This year we brought with us a brand new tent, still in the box. I spied the beast lying on the ground, knowing what must ensue. Looking around I was relived to see the campground was empty with the exception of a retired couple sitting quietly in their lawn chairs in front of their trailer about 100 feet away. I approached the box, cut the tape and out slid the biggest pile of nylon and connect-the-sticks I have ever seen. The contraption sleeps ten. Why a family of three needs a tent this size, I still cannot explain. Dragging the tent around on the site, I called to my husband for help. Thus the event commenced; the raising of the tent. This is a hotly contested battle of wit and patience between a husband and a wife. If television wanted a truly unrefined reality show, Raise the Tent, would win hands down. Two minutes into the set up, orders were shouted, my husband was obviously blind to the logic of my instructions. This became readily apparent from the look on his face. A retort from my frustrated spouse was foreseeable. The sound level increased. I glanced over at older couple who sat smiling at their reading materials, afraid to look up for fear they would break into hysterics. Precisely at this moment in all tent-raising events, children mysteriously disappear. My daughter retreated to the creek, suddenly captivated with the rocks at the bottom. I lowered my voice but the yelling continued in what I call, snake whisper. It is still yelling just at a hissing level. I am sure some of you can relate. The older couple is no longer watching covertly, they sit mesmerized by our Finally the Holy Spirit became fed up and tapped upon my heart. He reminded me I no longer needed to be in control. In the midst of our squabbling I saw my husband, a gift from God. I saw a man who has made me a better woman. The bickering diminished instantly and the tent went up quickly. My husband and I are spiritually mismatched in our marriage and although my husband has yet to discover the truth of Christ for himself, Christ is alive and active in our marriage. Christ’s supernatural power brings us through the arguing, disagreements, and tent construction. I look back upon my marriage journey and see Christ standing with us. He has been working through my nonbelieving husband to smooth my rough edges of selfishness and desire to control. My spouse and I are the ultimate odd couple. Our back grounds and beliefs are vastly different, which makes our marriage, our happy and fulfilling marriage, a miracle.  An hour later, I sat at the picnic table waiting for our friends who were joining us to settle into their campsite. Their daughter wandered over for a chat. I asked her, “Did your mom and dad getting everything set up?” She replied, “Yes, but yelling was involved.” I laughed out loud knowing God was alive and well in the next campsite! 1 Peter 3:1-4 (The Message) Please stop in for a visit at my place: Spiritually Unequal Marriage.  Labels: Humor, Lynn's Articles, Marriage Leave a comment... 17 Comments Links to this post  In just over two weeks my husband and I will celebrate twenty one years of marriage. With each passing year I become more and more grateful for God’s redeeming work not only in my life but in my marriage. Let me explain.In June of 1986 a young bride-to-be prepared for her special day like many young women her age. She put forth all her dreams into the wedding making sure every detail was exactly as she had hoped. The day came and her prayer was “If the flowers are dead, the cake rotten, the music bad, and if no one shows up, but if the Lord is there, it will be the perfect day.” It was a great day and the Lord’s presence was there in the midst of it all. This young bride with her new groom at her side set off on this new journey of marriage and service to the Lord. But, little did she know beneath the beauty of new love, hopes, and dreams crept a huge crack in her foundation and understanding of a biblical marriage. No one had ever explained the biblical role she just took as a wife. She viewed marriage as a partnership, one in which they would love each other, take care of each other, and share life together. It all sounded good. Her needs and desires were equally as important as his. If she chose or needed to continue working after their children were born, they would equally share in the duties of the home and children. And it all seemed right in the eyes of this young Christian woman who had a strong desire to please God. When there is a crack in the foundation of a home it would take enormous skill and effort to repair. Walls and flooring would have to be ripped up in order to repair the damage. This would prove to be very difficult if a family had to continue living in the house while the work was being done. This is exactly what had to take place in my life. I can’t say that at one given moment I realized that my thinking was wrong, but rather God in his gracious and loving way slowly began to do the work in my heart and thoughts in the midst of living life with my husband and a growing family. When you remove the beautiful flooring that you have laid, remove any padding, get down to the foundation and finally uncover what is wrong, it is liberating. I was completely liberated in my thinking when I could see for the first time how my view of the marriage relationship was somewhat flawed. I am so thankful to God today for doing His great work in my life and heart while although not perfect and without rough spots along the way, keeping my marriage and home in tact. It was one simple verse that spoke to me so deeply, Genesis 2:18 says, Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." (ESV version) As I studied this verse my eyes were opened and I began to gain a clear picture of God's purpose in creating woman. The apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 11:8-9, "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." For too long like so many others I had accepted Satan's lies that I needed to stand my ground for position against my husband. No, it was blatant but very subtle. Lies had seeped into my thinking out of ignorance and let's face it what do we hear constantly from every direction but the ultimate lie being that my own worth would be determined if I could do everything he could do and still be a wife and mom. When I accepted God's truth that I was created to be his helper and I began to live my life with this understanding and slowly function completely in my God created role, my life and thinking was slowly transformed. It didn't mean I couldn't have a job or a career or that he wouldn't help with cleaning, cooking, laundry, diaper changing and so on. So why does our blood pressure rise at the mention of the word HELPER? If you went about your life and told others you were here to be a helper to your husband, most people (including some Christians) would look at you as weak. Eve, created a “helper”, was to assist Adam in caring out God’s order to rule and subdue the earth. The role has not changed. We are to assist our husbands in fulfilling God’s will for their lives. The more I walk in this role, even with an imperfect man, the more God has fulfilled me as a woman. I am viewed by God with the same dignity and value as my husband, but my role and design is distinctly different. Men and women, though equal in essence, were designed for different roles. Women are in no sense intellectually or spiritually inferior to men, but they were quite clearly created for a distinctive purpose. (excerpt from “Twelve Extraordinary Women” by John MacArthur pg. 8) In sharing this type of post I am fully aware that for many women the role they have taken on in their marriage has resulted from years and years of doing things a certain way and the thought of viewing it any different seems next to impossible. Or their relationship with their husband at this time is not where they would hope it to be and so viewing themselves as a "helper" to a man who may not be fully committed to the Lord himself does not seem possible or even realistic. Yet I know the Holy Spirit can work in hearts and change lives if we will allow His word to transform us. Invite Him today to begin a new work in your own heart and thoughts towards a biblical understanding of a woman's role as "helper". In Him...Chris Visit my personal blog at www.cometothetable.blogspot.com Note: previous comments were lost for this post ~ sorry. Labels: Chris's Articles, Marriage, Purpose Leave a comment... 5 Comments Links to this post
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