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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
My second born son, who was then only 3 years old, accidentally hung himself on the swing set. Some neighborhood kids had received a punching bag for Christmas and we had let them tie it to our swing set because they didn’t have one. Unbeknownst to us, when they took the punching bag down they left the string tied to the top. Jacob saw it and on this particular day he had climbed his way to it and somehow his head became caught in it. I heard my oldest son scream, “Mommy! Jacob stuck!” I turned around to see my little boy twitching from the nearly invisible string hanging down. My heart fell to my knees. As I ran out I screamed for my former spouse who, thank God, was an EMT. I picked Jacob up out of the loop and laid him on the ground. He was blue, twitching and lifeless. By then, his dad was over him doing CPR and I was running in the house to get the baby and the phone to call 911. All of this happened in less than 90 seconds. By the hand of God Jacob began breathing but he was still lethargic and seizing. The paramedics did not believe he would make it. God didn’t agree. Jacob came through it with no damage except for a mark around his neck from the string and broken blood vessels. They were evident all over his face, in his eyes, ears, nose, and all over his scalp. All of his veins had burst from the pressure. When the doctor saw the string that had nearly taken his life he was shocked. It was waxed, deep-sea fishing string. The doctor said it should have severed Jacob’s head completely. He told us we were either the luckiest people he had ever met or somebody up there was looking out for us. Five minutes after I got the news that my son would live and that he should be dead, I broke. I walked outside of the emergency room doors and with people watching from all over I screamed. I sobbed. I cried so hard I could barely breathe. My diaphragm began to pulsate, my eyes and throat swelled up and my head hurt so intensely yet, I couldn’t stop. I cried for three days thinking of the what-ifs. Jacob had already been hospitalized three times. He had severe cases of RSV and Rotavirus back to back. The excessive use of the antibiotics caused the bad bacteria to mutate and made him so sick that he was hospitalized a third time for well over a week. I almost lost my child too many times. I couldn’t take anymore. I rehearsed these scenes in my mind so much that emotionally, I felt as though I had accepted his death. But, he didn’t die. My Jacob became an emotional disaster. He was moody, irritable, and unpleasant to be around. He always had to be under my feet and in my face. There were times when I found myself trying to escape from his neediness. I couldn’t give him enough attention. It became such a chore to me. He always wanted more and if he didn’t get it he cried until he did. At 5 years old he was depressed. At 6 years old he was a train wreck. I didn’t know what to do with him. So, I fasted and prayed. It was then, about two years ago, that God revealed to me that I was the problem. I had put up a wall between me and my son. I had become so afraid of losing him that I literally severed my emotional attachment to him. I could not let myself get close to him. What if he died? I couldn’t survive the pain. I loved him too much. Jacob felt this. Again I wept. What had I done?  I have seen numerous books written for people who have lost their children to accidents, illnesses and disasters. It tells them all about how to overcome the loss of their child, how to have victory over the pain and how to attempt to move on. God bless these people and thank heaven that there is some help out there for them but nowhere did I find a book that tells you what you can do in my situation. Was I the only one who has ever felt this way? There wasn’t a book to tell me how to repair my bond with my baby. So, I went back to the only thing I knew. I looked to God’s word. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love Love is an action. In God’s Kingdom you don’t have to feel it to do it. You must do it to feel it. I had to act on love to feel the emotional bond of love. I am happy to say that God has more than restored my attachment to my son. He has given me a new, deep, ever progressing relationship with him. It is a gift. God has enormous plans for Jacob’s life. He is a very talented artist, musician, writer and he is very smart for his age. He is still emotional at times but now I welcome it with a calm voice, smiles, hugs, and kisses. Of my three children, Jacob is the only one that God specifically gave me a name for. While I was pregnant, a woman prophesied to me and said that I should not name him what we had chosen because He had already chosen a name for him. Not long after, God spoke to me and gave me the name Jacob. We had an ultrasound just a few days later and discovered that he was indeed a boy. I used this opportunity to throw out a few additional names to my former spouse just to see what he would say. In the middle of the list of names I added Jacob. After I finished listing the names he looked at me and said, “Let’s name him Jacob.” This had comforted me years later when I looked his name up in a baby name meanings book while in the hospital with him for the pro-biotic treatment. The meaning for the name Jacob was: 1. holder of the heel and 2. protected by God. Ironic? I don’t think so.  I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31 I have posted lots of great pictures from our honeymoon in beautiful Riviera Maya, Mexico. Come by and see! Labels: Amy's Articles, Overcome, Parenting, Satan's schemes Leave a comment... 11 Comments Links to this post People and their automobiles entertain me.  I came across this one while on vacation in Yellowstone National Park. Cars are telling about a person.More delightful than a car, however, is watching people inside the car. I am a people watcher. I bet you are too. I can’t help myself. Most of us who love Jesus are genuinely interested in what makes people tick. I find it hilarious some people, sitting alone in their car, forget other drivers can see them. Thus, on any regular day you will see two or three nose pickings. You would never find a nose digger in the Supermarket (I hope). Close proximity discourages this kind of thing. But, the strangest things play out in automobiles. Here are a few crazy things people do while driving: Reading the newspaper. Yup, it happened. A man drove with his knees while holding the paper open. *Shudder* Then there are multiple accounts of women applying makeup while talking on the cell phone. How about changing clothes? I might have tried this once but I wasn’t driving. Shhhh People eat in their cars, they shave, they kiss and hold hands. They argue with a passenger. Some throw stuff out the windows. Some even dare to check their email. One of my all time personal favorites is a woman with her foot stuck out the drive’s side window. She painted her toenails while stopped in traffic. I am sure you could add a few scary tales to this list. I tend to pray A LOT while driving. I no longer drive for extended periods since leaving the work force. In fact, some days the only driving I do is to and from school to drop off and collect my daughter. This five-minute trip to school, however, has become a profound opportunity and one of my favorite driving experiences. A few years ago, God, inspired me to begin praying aloud for my daughter while we drove to school. I pray for her protection. I pray for her friends. I pray over her tests on test day. I pray that God would reveal Himself in some small way to her during the day. I pray she would remember to pray when she is stressed, afraid, or uncertain. This short prayer right before her day begins makes a giant difference in her day. If we forget to pray, her attitude is different. Troubles brew during the day. Praying God’s protection and love over her has been a profound privilege. Praying invites the King of the Universe to rein sovereign over her day. I am also teaching her how and what to pray. Ultimately, these few minutes in the car help to grow her faith. Our prayers for our little ones and grown-up ones, spoken from our heart, in the kitchen, the backyard or even the car are powerful in the ears of our Father.
 Okay, if you have never turned your automobile into a prayer mobile start today. Grab a child or two or more, jump in the car, buckle up, head to the nearest ice cream store for a cold treat. While on the way, don't forget to pray! Please stop in for Marriage Monday at my place today: Spiritually Unequal Marriage. Labels: Children, Lynn's Articles, Parenting, Prayer Leave a comment... 6 Comments Links to this post I pray for you everyday, even though I don’t know who you are. I ask God to protect you, to hold you, to love you. I pray that your mom teaches you about God’s Word, how to be a loving mother, and how to cook and clean with ease. I pray that your father is a loving example of how a man should treat you. I pray that you don’t have too many trials in life but that those you do have teach you how precious God’s love for us truly is. I pray for the first time we meet to be a joyous event. I pray that you will accept me as a mother. I will open my arms to you. I begin to wonder what you look like. What color are your eyes? What color is your hair? What color is your skin? Do you smile often? Will you smile at me? I wonder what life has been like for you. Do you live in a Godly home? Do you attend a good school? What are your hobbies? I wonder how old you will be when we meet. Will you have children? Will you have a ministry? Will you like some of the same things that I do? Will God show me right away that you are her? You see, I long to see you, to talk to you, and to learn from you. I think of you daily and I remember you in my prayers. I want to know the woman whose childhood I missed but whose adulthood I will have the pleasure of sharing. I want God to bless you abundantly and show you favor. I want to know your name. Even though I don’t know who you are, God does and I want to give you one of the greatest gifts that I have. A gift that will love you, admire you, protect you, provide for you, and cherish your very being. I want to give a gift that I have treasured for years, a gift that has brought me much love, much joy, and much pride. This gift that I will give you… 
As I embark upon the journey to become a wife to a man that I love and admire so very much, it has caused me to think about the real gift his parents are giving to me. I have so much gratitude for the effort they put into raising this man and they have welcomed me and my children with open arms. I want this same thing for the women my boys will one day marry. I have made it a point to pray for these young girls on a daily basis and will continue to do so. My children are my greatest gift. I will be receiving someone’s greatest gift. Now I can somewhat imagine how God must feel while Jesus awaits His bride. After all, what gives us hope and joy, and what is our proud reward and crown? It is you! Yes, you will bring us much joy as we stand together before our Lord Jesus when he comes back again. For you are our pride and joy. 1Th 2:19-20
Labels: Amy's Articles, Marriage, Motherhood, Parenting, Prayer Leave a comment... 9 Comments Links to this post When Jesus said, "Suffer the little children to come to me," did he mean twins? I'm watching my sister's two-year-old twins for her this week while she and my brother-in-law are in town looking for a place to live. That's right - they're moving to Texas from Seattle! (hooray!) Actually, they're looking about 3 hours south of my house, so I won't see them all week. Why anyone would want to move her from Seattle is beyond me, but so is keeping twins for a week. So, if you feel inclined to pray for me, that would be awesome. I will say this: I'm doing remarkably well so far. By that, I mean it's been 48 hours now and they're still breathing. I can't really take credit for this amazing feat; my own children have been a great help! They played with the babies most of the day Sunday and when they got home from school yesterday. They came up with all sorts of clever amusements to keep the little tykes entertained, like computer games, DVD's and my guitars. After all, they're just guitars. They can always be repaired. Uh...or replaced. Very soon. So here I am on day three of seven and I miss my best helpers. My kids have school every day this week. That means I'm pretty much on my own until the school bus gets here in the afternoon. Every day this week. All day. With twins. Two year-olds. By myself. Prayer, please. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. Psalm 10:13-14 I'm so thankful God never feels overwhelmed by me. I can certainly be twice the handful compared to most folks I know. And He doesn't even need help to manage my tantrums, my messes, my quirks and demands. Even in the midst of my most troublesome moments, He has compassion and patience with me. He teaches me and loves me, comforts and protects me. I am, after all, His child. My only question: how does He get a shower?  Carol's blog can be found here. Labels: Carol's Articles, Children, Endurance, Parenting Leave a comment... 4 Comments Links to this post  Thursday, on the drive home from school, I told my daughter that I was digging a garden. Plants have become the newest passion for this little girl, so much so that 5-year-old Nathaniel bought one on Wednesday, and surprised her by placing it on her window sill before she got home. It's all she's been talking about lately, so we couldn't pass by the Gerber daisies without wondering what Maddy might say if we brought one home just for her. Talk of the new garden in the backyard, got all of the kids excited. In fact, the minute I parked the car, they all ran to the back yard so they could get involved. You should have seen my kids in the garden, it honestly was the most precious thing I've experienced in ages--maybe ever. So, we started digging the garden I had started earlier--each one of them are helping out. It's adorable to see them pitch in because they are excited that we're creating something pretty. We took turns using the shovel, the spade, the fork, and even the garden gloves. Little muscles rolled back sod, grunting, and puffing all the while, then the teenaged eating machine came out and made the job easier for us until either his back was sore or the kitchen was calling his name. I see so much love going into this garden, that I know I'll cherish it for as long as I live. Right now we're only preparing the soil, but they've already asked if they can be in charge of planting or watering, or weed digging--too cute. About an hour into the project, I could tell that Maddy was a bit annoyed. Being the girl with the passion for plants, she wants to do it all. She didn't like the fact that her little brother was stronger and had more schutzpa when it came to tugging on the sod, nor did she like the fact that her older brother was a better digger than all of us put together. The last straw came when Graham said, "Mom, I want to water this garden every night, ok?" I could tell it was the last straw because she threw down the shovel as the pink rose in her soil stained cheeks. I guess you probably know the lesson that little girl needed to learn. It's the same lesson we all need to hear every once in a while as we're planting this garden of love for our Father...that "he that planteth and he that watereth are one." "Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit; To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues: But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will." ~ 1 Corinthians 12:5-11 Just this week, my friend leaned on the fence, looked at the soil and said, "They say that you're closest to God when you're out in the garden." Hmmm...you know what? Metiphorically speaking, that just might be true, but the question is are we in there working with our brothers and sisters, giving it all that we've got, or have we thrown down the shovel to let the pink rise in our soil stained cheeks? Grab a shovel ladies, we've got a garden to plant! :) Labels: Darlene's Articles, Parenting, seed-planting, serving God, Spring Leave a comment... 13 Comments Links to this post  I never remember my dad reading the newspaper as a child. It wasn't until I was older (and could stay up later) that I would see my dad lay down on the couch to read the paper. Why is this significant to me? Well, for me it symbolizes the importance that my dad placed on spending time with me and my brother. My dad was home every day at 5:30 for dinner. Afterward, he quickly changed clothes and spent time with us (playing, reading, doing family devotions) until bedtime. I was blessed to grow up knowing that I was important enough to be a priority for my dad. He would have rather played with me than read his paper or watch TV. My mom also made purposeful decisions to invest in her children. She has shared with me how she specifically chose to be a teacher so that she could maximize time spent with us in the afternoon and summers. I will forever cherish the many summer adventures that we shared. In addition, my parents really included us in their activities, whether through their work or church activities. My brother and I had the opportunity to walk beside them and learn. This is how God designed parenthood and child training--through relationship and connecting. You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between you eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down and when you rise. --Deuteronomy 11:18-19As I look around our world, I am rather alarmed at the lack of priority placed on parenthood and family. I recently read a book called The Price of Privilege by Madeline Levine, a clinical psychologist. She pointed out some very interesting developments in the demographics of her clientele. More and more, her "typical" teen client comes from wealthy and upper middle class families. These teens have been given everything, and many are very gifted and intelligent. They should be happy, right? As a society, we must understand that children do not need "stuff" - they need their parents. Rather than a new ball glove, they want their dads to watch them play. Instead of gadgets, they want time with their parents. Because they are disconnected and depressed, many teens are turning to alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and cutting to mask their pain. This is becoming the price of privilege in our country, driven by materialism and the pressure to achieve. In a country where the large majority of people are more "privileged" than the rest of the world, we must continually work to keep the proper perspective on money and material possessions. I do not want my children to ever doubt that they are more important than the "stuff." To me, the price of privilege is too high to pay.  Labels: Kelly's Articles, Parenting Leave a comment... 11 Comments Links to this post
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