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Tuesday, September 25, 2007
My second born son, who was then only 3 years old, accidentally hung himself on the swing set. Some neighborhood kids had received a punching bag for Christmas and we had let them tie it to our swing set because they didn’t have one. Unbeknownst to us, when they took the punching bag down they left the string tied to the top. Jacob saw it and on this particular day he had climbed his way to it and somehow his head became caught in it. I heard my oldest son scream, “Mommy! Jacob stuck!” I turned around to see my little boy twitching from the nearly invisible string hanging down. My heart fell to my knees. As I ran out I screamed for my former spouse who, thank God, was an EMT. I picked Jacob up out of the loop and laid him on the ground. He was blue, twitching and lifeless. By then, his dad was over him doing CPR and I was running in the house to get the baby and the phone to call 911. All of this happened in less than 90 seconds. By the hand of God Jacob began breathing but he was still lethargic and seizing. The paramedics did not believe he would make it. God didn’t agree. Jacob came through it with no damage except for a mark around his neck from the string and broken blood vessels. They were evident all over his face, in his eyes, ears, nose, and all over his scalp. All of his veins had burst from the pressure. When the doctor saw the string that had nearly taken his life he was shocked. It was waxed, deep-sea fishing string. The doctor said it should have severed Jacob’s head completely. He told us we were either the luckiest people he had ever met or somebody up there was looking out for us. Five minutes after I got the news that my son would live and that he should be dead, I broke. I walked outside of the emergency room doors and with people watching from all over I screamed. I sobbed. I cried so hard I could barely breathe. My diaphragm began to pulsate, my eyes and throat swelled up and my head hurt so intensely yet, I couldn’t stop. I cried for three days thinking of the what-ifs. Jacob had already been hospitalized three times. He had severe cases of RSV and Rotavirus back to back. The excessive use of the antibiotics caused the bad bacteria to mutate and made him so sick that he was hospitalized a third time for well over a week. I almost lost my child too many times. I couldn’t take anymore. I rehearsed these scenes in my mind so much that emotionally, I felt as though I had accepted his death. But, he didn’t die. My Jacob became an emotional disaster. He was moody, irritable, and unpleasant to be around. He always had to be under my feet and in my face. There were times when I found myself trying to escape from his neediness. I couldn’t give him enough attention. It became such a chore to me. He always wanted more and if he didn’t get it he cried until he did. At 5 years old he was depressed. At 6 years old he was a train wreck. I didn’t know what to do with him. So, I fasted and prayed. It was then, about two years ago, that God revealed to me that I was the problem. I had put up a wall between me and my son. I had become so afraid of losing him that I literally severed my emotional attachment to him. I could not let myself get close to him. What if he died? I couldn’t survive the pain. I loved him too much. Jacob felt this. Again I wept. What had I done?  I have seen numerous books written for people who have lost their children to accidents, illnesses and disasters. It tells them all about how to overcome the loss of their child, how to have victory over the pain and how to attempt to move on. God bless these people and thank heaven that there is some help out there for them but nowhere did I find a book that tells you what you can do in my situation. Was I the only one who has ever felt this way? There wasn’t a book to tell me how to repair my bond with my baby. So, I went back to the only thing I knew. I looked to God’s word. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love Love is an action. In God’s Kingdom you don’t have to feel it to do it. You must do it to feel it. I had to act on love to feel the emotional bond of love. I am happy to say that God has more than restored my attachment to my son. He has given me a new, deep, ever progressing relationship with him. It is a gift. God has enormous plans for Jacob’s life. He is a very talented artist, musician, writer and he is very smart for his age. He is still emotional at times but now I welcome it with a calm voice, smiles, hugs, and kisses. Of my three children, Jacob is the only one that God specifically gave me a name for. While I was pregnant, a woman prophesied to me and said that I should not name him what we had chosen because He had already chosen a name for him. Not long after, God spoke to me and gave me the name Jacob. We had an ultrasound just a few days later and discovered that he was indeed a boy. I used this opportunity to throw out a few additional names to my former spouse just to see what he would say. In the middle of the list of names I added Jacob. After I finished listing the names he looked at me and said, “Let’s name him Jacob.” This had comforted me years later when I looked his name up in a baby name meanings book while in the hospital with him for the pro-biotic treatment. The meaning for the name Jacob was: 1. holder of the heel and 2. protected by God. Ironic? I don’t think so.  I'd love for you to visit me at my personal blog: In Pursuit of Proverbs 31 I have posted lots of great pictures from our honeymoon in beautiful Riviera Maya, Mexico. Come by and see! Labels: Amy's Articles, Overcome, Parenting, Satan's schemes Leave a comment... 11 Comments Links to this post When we bought our house in a quiet neighborhood of a college town, I never expected I would need to research wildlife. After all, one mile down the road, there’s a small shopping plaza. A couple of miles the other way, there’s a cluster of offices, yogurt shops, miniature golf course, etc. In short, a fox family should not be content to frolic in my yard. We offer no thickets or chicken coops. One reason they could be prowling around my backyard, driveway and front yard, however, is to meet and greet my 5-lb Yorkshire Terrier. Not gonna happen. Maybe I’ve absorbed too many Beatrix Potter stories, but a fox is a bad guy to me--tricky, cunning, predatory, and omnivorous. He is also beautiful, especially the red fox. As I researched ways to get rid of these interlopers, I couldn’t help being reminded of our great Enemy. In many ways, he is like the fox: intelligent, cunning, predatory, and omnivorous—and in the guise of meeting our deepest needs, he can appear as a beautiful solution to many problems, unless we are wise to his deceit. Omnivorous? Yes, it doesn’t matter who a person is—young, old, rich, poor, male, female--if he or she is human, he is God’s creation, and nothing gives Satan more pleasure than driving a wedge between the Creator and his creation and ultimately destroying lives. 1 Peter 5:7-9 says, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” As Christians, we may be lulled into feeling untouchable by his stalking. But just because he prowls the perimeter of our lives and isn’t invited inside the cottage to sit by the hearth doesn’t mean he isn’t dangerous. Here are some tips I read for getting rid of foxes that might apply to our predator, as well: --Get rid of your garbage ASAP. Foxes will raid trash cans and compost piles. Likewise, if there is sin we haven’t acknowledged and asked forgiveness for, we are mistaken to think it is safely buried in the past. We’re still open to raids and to our own bondage to that sin. In fact, we are warned in Proverbs 26:11 that we are likely to return to that sin like “a dog returns to its vomit.” Unconfessed sin weakens our fortress against recurring failures and against staving off new sinful invasions. Thankfully, we have a place to take our ugly baggage, the cross of Christ, where no one is ever turned away. Ever. --Don't feed them or get close enough to pet them. I’m going to get a little more exhortative here than usual: Do not “flirt” with trouble. Do not so much as dip your toe into the waters of sketchy behaviors. Do not tolerate within yourself a thought or habit out of line with what you know your Father approves of. Do not allow yourself to get too close to a stronghold to prove you have overcome or been delivered of it. You are not a superhuman, no matter how much you’ve been set free from. Christians are vulnerable to any sin. I speak from personal experience when I say never kid yourself or claim to someone else, “I would never be involved in [X],” whatever nefarious situation that might be, slight or blatant. Before the mist from your breath carrying those spoken words dissipates, Satan will be licking his chops and drawing up plans to bring you down. --Watch over your small pets. When I think of what could happen to my little, innocent dog, I get goose bumps. Now, this is a stretch, but protect your little ones, your children, even those who live in your house who are not so little anymore. As children grow older, parenting does not grow easier; the issues simply change, and we face challenges from the child in addition to those from the outside. My little dog cannot understand why I won’t let her roam in the backyard, but she has no idea what danger lurks there. My kids have not always understood why we chose to do or not do certain things. They may have thought I was foolish, but they did not fully know what I know. And if I have occasionally over-reached in protecting them, I have been a fool for lesser things. --Don’t let the fox immobilize or intimidate you. He is a menace, but he is not omnipotent. He may threaten; he may attack, but Jesus said, “I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). We are not powerless. However, we conquer the enemy only through the power of Christ, which he gives to every one of his children as they daily confront the foxes and giants in their lives. His word tells us to humble ourselves, obey him, and believe in him who conquered death and whose name is above all. The way to keep the fox at bay, then, is to trust in the “Hound of Heaven,” who specializes in finding lost children and subduing the frustrated, defeated fox.  Please visit my personal blog at www.2nd-cup-of-coffee.blogspot.com Labels: deceit, fear, Linda's Articles, power, Satan's schemes, temptation, victory Leave a comment... 7 Comments Links to this post There was a Sunday about 7 years ago I will never forget as long as I live. Our oldest son, then four, had attended his first "real" Sunday School Class after graduating from the nursery. Emotionally for me, he may as well have begun Kindergarten. I could not wait to get ahold of that child and find out everything he had learned in his new 'big boy' class. When we got into the car, my interrogation began, "Did you like your class? Was your teacher nice? Were you scared? Do you want to go back again next week?" To which he answered, "Yes. Yes. No. Yes." They learn the Man Thing early: Few words, fewer details. In an attempt to get more information (because you know we moms need the minutia), I asked "Well, who was your lesson about?" His response? "I have NO idea but I did find out if people eat poison apples it makes snakes talk." I would be willing to bet Adam and Eve have never heard that version of their story before. Of course, The Preacher and I laughed and laughed. "Oh isn't it cute how he got that all mixed up?" But the more I thought about it, the more I believed he got the point dead on. In thinking about ways we "empower the snake", I was reminded of this passage: Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:25-32 I think of all the times Satan has attempted to embitter me towards another person by subtly slipping me the poisonous fruits of self-pity, anger, bitterness, and distrust. Like Eve, I am often tempted to take a bite by thinking I am somehow entitled to harbor these feelings. If we are not careful, these are just the emotions Satan will use to feed our hearts until we grow fat with pride. Satan is very crafty in using human relationships to gain a foothold. For example, when we are angry with someone we have to see on a daily basis, every encounter gives him the opportunity to whisper, "Can you believe she did that to you? Said that about your children? Brushed you aside like that?" We then have two choices: Take the bait, or feed the snake. Consider Genesis 3:15 (NLT) and I'll explain: "From now on, you and the woman will be enemies, and your offspring and her offspring will be enemies. He will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." I don't know about you, but the woman in me still feels righteously indignant that Satan cornered Eve. I can't help but have compassion for her and the ridicule she has endured all these thousands of years from the generations of people who blame our plight on her naivete'. Do you ever wonder if Adam brought it up to her? "You know Eve, we wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for you, dear." Something tells me he did at least once in their 930 years together. This fact alone makes me praise God all the more that he gave her a chance to redeem herself by being the mother of Salvation. The fact remains that Satan still singles women out today. He attempts to isolate us, busy us, frenzy and frazzle us until we are in a corner where he can feed us poisonous fruit. We can fall for his scheme once again, or we can instead feed the snake: a darling high-heel in the head that is. Genesis 3:15 reminds us that Satan will always inflict pain, but that he will ultimately be crushed under our feet. On behalf of every one of us who has ever fell prey to his wickedness, I want to plant my spiritual stiletto in such a way that he will never forget it. "You've fed me long enough - now eat this." It's time for a rising up, girls. Time for recognizing Satan's game and calling him on it. It's time we crush his head! Let's beg the Lord for spiritual eyes to discern the enemy's schemes. Put on the full armor of God, and whatever you do, don't forget your shoes!  Labels: Lisa's Articles, Relationships, Satan's schemes, Spiritual Warfare Leave a comment... 11 Comments Links to this post
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