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Friday, July 20, 2007
 About 12 years ago, I experienced my first bout of extended depression, not just a week or two of the blues, but the real deal--a suffocating, absolutely relentless depression. It made me feel like one of those caged cats in the zoo who paces back and forth day after day after day behind steel bars, unhappily separated from his former life and former self--or perhaps who spends the day sleeping, seizing his only respite from his misery.Eventually, I sought spiritual counseling, sought medical help, turned to friends who loved me unconditionally, began exercising and focusing on surviving, and because God never gives up on us even when we've abandoned all hope and sometimes even abandoned Him, I am here today. I claim Psalm 94:16-18, "Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, 'My foot is slipping,' your love, O LORD, supported me." I'd like to offer a few tools, simple as they are, that I use to help batten down the hatches when the winds of depression kick up in my life. Maybe they will be relevant to you or a friend. The first/best line of defense against any threat is prayer and reading God's Word, of course. But since we eventually have to close the Bible or stop praying actual words for periods of time, I think it's wise to have some small practical weapons in our arsenal with which to fight these battles. Sometimes it only takes a few stones in a slingshot to bring down an enemy of the Lord! I'm not a professional, of course, but I am a survivor. Is my life perfect now? No. Do I ever feel down? Sure I do. But--when I feel the shadow of that terrible period hovering over me now, I quickly and confidently acknowledge that I am not powerless. I do not panic anymore because "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"(John 8:36). Here are some "stones" I keep handy when I'm under attack: 1. I remind myself of the verse above by stating, "Jesus set me free of depression; therefore, I am free. I may feel threatened. I may feel a little roughed up. Doubt may be tapping me on the shoulder. None of those feelings can compromise the truth: I am, at my core, set free from depression's oppression. Thank God. Now that I've remembered that the issue is settled, what else can I focus on to strengthen my faith?" 2. I get outside at least briefly, to get natural light. Outside light is different from indoor light, even on a partly cloudy day. Twenty minutes can do a world of good. And if I walk those 20 minutes, even better. Plus, outside I can pray more effectively. When I was heavily depressed, my mind was a thick fog, and I couldn't stay focused on praying or reading the Bible if there was any aural or visual distraction. 3. I avoid sad songs/movies/books/network news. I avoid rehearsing the time when I was depressed. I simply avoid reinforcing anything negative at all, until I feel I'm past the most intense vulnerability. 4. Any time you remove a temptation or avoid something, you need to provide a substitute to fill its spot. So you guessed it; I listen to music that glorifies Jesus or I listen to secular songs that I know also evoke positive feelings/outlook, none about broken hearts. I look for little ways to help other people; I watch funny movies. I talk to friends who will lift me up. It's OK for me to express what I'm battling with a friend, but we need to quickly leave the subject and talk about healthy, uplifting topics--not dwell on how low I feel. 5. I talk myself "down from the ledge." I say, "You are an old pro at fighting this. You are smarter than the threat. Your sad feelings may be valid; they may be rational depending on what's going on in your life currently, even so--it's still not all about you and your feelings in this world. Move emotionally outward. Feelings are fleeting. This depression is not coming to stay; it's coming to pass. You are prayed up, read up, sung up--now get up and live like a nondepressed person. Smile." Guess what? I start to feel like an overcomer. and that's not being false--remember--I have been set free. I am an overcomer. I am not boasting about having it all together; I do not have all the answers, nor do I have particularly original suggestions. It was Christ who set me free and the Holy Spirit who teaches me how to cope with my own personal trials. But sometimes I need to be reminded of fundamental truths and simple plans for facing hulking giants. Now matter how large depression looms, I know that I serve a bigger God. According to Ephesians 4:8 "When He [Christ] ascended on high, He led captivity captive [He led a train of vanquished foes] and He bestowed gifts on men" (Amplified). He has defeated depression. He has bestowed on me the grace to face my fears, an abundant life to enjoy in Him, and courage and desire to begin a brand new day.  I would love for you to visit my personal blog at 2nd Cup of Coffee. Labels: coping, courage, depression, Hope, Linda's Articles Leave a comment... 12 Comments Links to this post  Every day going to and from work, I pass a small municipal airport sitting so far from the road I rarely remember it’s there. Instead, I’m focused on the day’s events or on jabbing buttons to get to a better song. Occasionally, out of the blue, a shadow sweeps over my car, quickening my adrenalin and firing up goose bumps. For a split second, as the interior of my car darkens and lightens again, all I know is that something big is happening all over and around me. Before I can make sense of it, it’s over. Afterwards, I smile at myself for forgetting where I am . . . airplanes tend to hang around airports. No matter how many times I watch planes take off and land, I never get over the wonder of the physics and finesse of the maneuver. The procedure is so far above me, literally and mentally. And when one descends relatively close by, it’s always breathtaking. I’ve noticed that God often reinforces such arresting images to teach or reassure me. For example, I was walking in my neighborhood listening to “Better is One Day” by Kutless, and a plane cast its shadow over me again. Coincidentally, there is a line in the song that says, “I sing beneath the shadow of your wings” (Psalm 63:7). I was sensing a theme. As I listened, it occurred to me that the “fly-over” is how I often experience God’s presence in my life, especially when I cannot seem to hear his voice or feel his direction. Christians often talk about moments when we feel God’s presence or hear him speak and the times we don’t. Of course, God is faithful and constant, but we seem to have certain expectations of how he will communicate with us, and if he decides to use another means, we often miss hearing him. Other times, we might miss him if we’re simply too distracted by pushing life’s buttons, trying to get to the next best thing or stay ahead of the game. And how easy is it to miss his voice if we’re constantly submerged in TV, music, movies, telephone conversations, and (gasp) blogging? I’ve never known anyone who experienced Jesus walking into their room, turning off the TV or computer and demanding, “We need to talk!” although I have wondered about my occasional Internet shutdowns! Obviously, we could write off those examples of apparent silence as our fault, but what about those times when we focus intently on hearing him, and we’re met with silence? Just the other day, I was following the ACTS L guide to praying (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication and listening). When I got to the listening part, I quieted my mind and waited, but I sensed no revelations, no guidance, not so much as a cricket chirp of communication. That can be discouraging. Oswald Chambers has something interesting to say about silence: “[God’s] silence is the sign that He is bringing you into a marvelous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a bigger revelation. If God has given you a silence, praise Him, He is bringing you into the great run of His purposes. The manifestation of the answer in time is a matter of God's sovereignty. Time is nothing to God. For a while you said – ‘I asked God to give me bread, and He gave me a stone.’ He did not, and today you find He gave you the bread of life.” Some believe silence is holy--especially those with toddlers! I believe God uses periods of silence to deepen our faith. Perhaps silence tests us insofar as showing how little it takes to discourage us, in order to compel us to grow deeper. On the other hand, if we steadfastly continue to seek him during our trials, silence may help prove that our faith remains hardy in spite of circumstances, marking a robust and seasoned faith. If you’re waiting for a response to a specific prayer, remember how long Job waited to hear from God. In other words, waiting in and of itself can be a message. So now I view periods of silence another way. I look for the Lord to “fly over” my life, covering me with his presence. Almost immediately, I begin to see him in others, in his creation, or in music. And no matter how many times I experience him close-up and personal like this, just as with the airplane flying low over my car, I never get over the wonder of it—he is awesome. Our God casts a big shadow—a big, big, shadow, with the majesty of an eagle whose wingspan is immeasurable, with the precision and power of the most sophisticated aircraft and the tender care of a mother covering her children. His presence is all I need. The image of the mighty eagle swooping down and up, circling and watching, casting his holy shadow over my life, allows me to lay my head on my pillow at night in peace. And in my spirit, I sing beneath the shadow of his wings. Labels: depression, Faith, fear, Linda's Articels, peace, Prayer, silence, trust Leave a comment... 15 Comments Links to this post
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